off
who: roy and marian
where: near the sixth street bridge
when: afternoon
Roy had gone about most of his day the same way he usually did. He ran errands, he practiced reading the stuff Madeline had left for him, and he got something resembling food. It was when he was on his way back to the vault that he caught wind of a certain story involving Pepper. And if rumor could be believed--and it usually had at least the basics of truth in these dire sorts of matters--Pepper was gone. No one could give all that much beyond a vague story about her being dragged off in the night, but that sort of thing never ended well.
It happened often enough for him to know that. He wondered if she'd be found. Or if she'd just be one of those people who disappeared, and no one ever really knew what happened. He personally was hoping she'd pop back up, right as rain, but he didn't actually let himself think it would happen. Or maybe it was just that he knew if he did sit there and blindly hope that it would, he'd more than likely be disappointed. Instead of going back to the vault, he went for a walk, sort of wandering aimlessly, not paying anything resembling real attention to where he was going. He'd not seen Pepper in a while. And now he might just never see her again. It left him in a really off sort of mood he couldn't quite get a handle on. That happened to him often enough, really, just this time it left him in a restless place along with that haze of mixed emotion.
.
It was always a rare occurrence for Marian to have the day off. She'd worked a double shift the day prior, helping fill in gaps while Nighthawk's saw one of the largest crowds in weeks. She'd slept hard all morning when she finally got home, suffering through unsettling dreams that woke her with a chill down her back, but no memory of what she'd been dreaming of. She'd opted to spend the afternoon running errands, dressed in one of Zhen's dresses, picking up actual food this week with the more than gracious tip Alec has given her when she saw him last.
When she saw him last being the night that she'd agreed to be his friend, which was what found her on the streets nears the Sixth Street Bridge. In short, she was avoiding Roy. She'd taken a different route to a different than usual store, one that avoided the diner in case he was there looking for her and she'd skirted around the old bank building, trying to find a different way to get home and still enjoy the warm air. As she rounded a corner she spotted the person she'd been trying so very hard to avoid and it brought her to a dead stop, grocery bag in her arms crinkling as she tightened her grip on it. He'd know, Roy would know the moment he saw her that she'd completely ignored his advice, yet she couldn't bring herself to move out of his path or to keep from saying his name. "Roy?"
.
Roy, so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even notice her in his immediate surroundings, was a little startled when he heard his name, and his sister's voice for that matter. He looked round at her, blinking for a second before things seemed to click into place for him. "Hi." he said, sounding vaguely confused. "I--what are you doing here?" he asked. Not that he wasn't happy to see her. He was always happy to see his sister. She was the only continual bright spot in his life after all. But he hadn't seen her in a while and he figured she was avoiding him again. And it looked like she'd just been shopping, so she wasn't coming to see him. Not that he was home, either, but still. He was confused. It was possible he wasn't on top of his game today.
.
"I.." Marian started but wasn't sure how to finish. I've been walking out of my way to avoid you and obviously it's not working. Marian flushed a little pink, looking into the bag as if the answer would be there. Looking away didn't give her the guts to tell him the truth, but it did give her a moment to put together an answer. "I was shopping," she said softly. "How are you?"
.
He watched her, recognizing something was wrong, and he figured it was because she was avoiding him. Which made his heart sink. Difficult to do considering it was Marian, but at the same time, he was already all kinds of not all that together at the moment due to Pepper-things. "Oh." he said, tone distant as he looked away, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I'm..." he didn't know if he had a proper answer there. It should be far easier to come up with at least something resembling one, but he just didn't have it. So in the end he shrugged and looked at the ground. "I know you're avoidin me. You don't have to stay here and talk to me if you don't want to." he told her, opting for that as opposed to trying to begin to describe how he was really feeling. "I'll just catch you when you want to see me again."
It sort of hit him then how fucking lonely he felt. Most of the time he ignored that, the sort of hollow gnawing sensation in the back of his mind, that knowledge that there were exceedingly few people in his life, and no one really seemed to be there in a capacity that was all that consistent or didn't come with strings attached. He didn't have anyone around who was just around because they liked him, or wanted to spend time with him. Or, that was the case so far as he knew. The closest would be Madeline, but even with her, he knew a lot of the time she showed up to talk to him because she wanted advice, or she wanted him to yell at her because she was doing something stupid. Beyond that? Not so much. And running into Marian when she was looking worlds of uncomfortable just for having crossed his path quite clearly by accident...it all stood out in sharp clarity for him. Fuck.
.
Marian hated that, she hated seeing him look like that and she cursed herself for not being strong enough to see her brother. She wanted to smile, tell him he was being ridiculous, but she just couldn't force that bubbly persona around Roy. It was nice, the fact that he brought out the real her, but it was bad at the same time, because right now he needed her to smile and say he'd just surprised her, that was all and she just couldn't do it.
Shifting the bag to one hand, she reached out and put a hand on his arm. "No, it's okay," she tried, though she still sounded uncomfortable. He knew she was avoiding him which she guessed meant he'd figure out that she'd ignored his advice, but she couldn't just leave him here, looking like that.
.
Roy glanced over as she touched him, but he still didn't say anything. He just looked down, let the silence drag out. He should say something, but he still just didn't know what. There was some missing piece there, and unfortunately for him that wasn't an altogether unfamiliar feeling. Sometimes it just felt that way with him. Like there was something missing in him in general. Some vital cog that didn't exist, so other parts of him didn't work properly. like he was a car engine that was missing a spark plug. Something like that.
"I'm sure that's heavy." he said, nodding to the groceries bag. "I'm sure you don't want to drop it." On his end, Marian and the entire thing with the guy he'd warned her off of wasn't even occurring to him. So far as he was concerned, she'd seemed like she was going to take his advice, and therefore he figured she had. That and because of Pepper, his mind wasn't anywhere near that. For Roy, Marian avoided him at random times for reasons he sometimes never understood, so he didn't try to find the reasons anymore. He knew sometimes it was just because he knew things other people didn't know, and other times...who knew. Not him. It just didn't change the end result, and he knew that. Sometimes, he thought if he did dig, if he did find out other reasons why it would just make the problem worse. Then he'd just know something else she couldn't handle him knowing.
.
"I...um," Marian wasn't sure what to say at that, but pulled her hand away, shifting the bag back into both arms because she guessed that was what he meant. Don't touch me. And that hurt, it hurt a lot. Marian wasn't a touchy person, ever, but things were different with Roy, except now. Tears pricked at the edges of her eyes and she cursed herself again, hating that she was just too weak to handle what was going on between them. "Do you...do you want something to eat?" she asked, voice quiet and hoarse.
.
Roy shook his head. "No. I'm not hungry." he told her. It wasn't meant as a brush off, his tone wasn't harsh in any way. It still just held that lost quality to it, that sort of distant, disconnected tone. It wasn't that he was trying to be offputting. He really wasn't. It just was how it wound up coming off.
"Thanks anyways." he said, though it was a pretty belated afterthought that he tacked on there, clearly something that connected a little late.
.
Marian didn't like the sound of his voice at all. "Roy...I'm..." she started but faltered again, not sure what she wanted to say at all. "I'm sorry," she finally settled on, eyes dropping back to the contents of the bag in her hands as if that might have another answer. This time, it gave her nothing and she just waited, assuming he'd walk away and she'd wind up using this moment as her new excuse to avoid him.
.
"It's not your fault." Roy told her, since that was the first thing that rose to mind when she apologized. Just that it wasn't her fault. Because seriously, it wasn't. He knew she avoided, and that she did it because she needed to. And Pepper's going away wasn't her fault either. She wasn't to blame. "I'll see you sometime." he promised her, still in a frame of mind to let her go, knowing she was only seeing him because he was in her path. He didn't really want to force her to have to deal when she didn't want to. That just sort of made him feel worse.
.
"Roy, don't do that," Marian said, finally finding her voice. She hated that the way he let her go, let her hide from him. He shouldn't do that, she should be forced to face her issues, even if just the thought of dealing made her want to hide even more. "I'm sorry." He'd said it wasn't her fault, but she felt like it was. There was something wrong with her brother, his face hadn't lit up when she saw him like it usually did. Instead of being there for him like he always was for her, she'd made it worse. "Please Roy."
.
"I told you it wasn't your fault, okay?" Roy said. "And don't do what?" he asked, starting to get a little agitated, though it was still hugely muted. it manifested mostly in a helpless frown he turned on her, and the slightest edge to his voice. But that was all. Nothing even near how he was capable of getting.
.
He barely sounded annoyed, but it was enough for Marian to shrink away from him even more. "Nothing," she mumbled, her eyes darting away again, looking down then past him. "I was walking home," she said after a moment or two. It was nothing more than a soft statement, open ended if he wanted to walk with her or just walk away. She wasn't even sure herself which she wanted him to do.
.
He nodded, but was still confused about what she was saying. He wasn't sure. Or what she meant. That was even more a mystery. But the 'walking home' part he understood, which in his current state of mind he took as a dismissal, not the almost-invitation that it truly was. His frame of mind was not interpreting things correctly in the slightest. "I'll see you sometime." he told her, stepping fully out of her way, so she didn't have to walk around him.
.
Marian bit her lip hard to keep tears from pooling in her eyes as she stepped past him. Part of her had hoped he'd walk with her, but she understood, there was something wrong. "Soon," she added to his comment. "Sometime soon." As she said it she wasn't sure if she meant it. Marian hated this, the way things had gone between them, but she wasn't sure the next time she saw Roy that things would be better.
.
He walked off, though he looked back after he was a little ways away. He knew he was acting wrong. He knew it. He just couldn't help it. And she hadn't asked him what was the matter. Like, not once. She'd said she was sorry, even if it wasn't her fault, and he knew she was avoiding. But she didn't ask what was wrong. That just served to make everything worse, but he wondered if it was just his fault. Or maybe things were always like this, and he just hadn't noticed til right now. Hanging his head, he stopped looking back at her, and headed off, still wholly unsure where he was headed. Somewhere Else. Wherever that was.