always come home

Who: Danny and Janey
Where: The McKinnon apartment
When: Early morning

Danny had woken up feeling disoriented from dreaming, but after a moment realized the ringing wasn't a phone, just the alarm going off. Another day of work awaited him. The girl had snuck out the day before, not that he really minded but he knew that Janey was upset. Rolling over, he didn't want to tell her about the job, but Hollis was right, it was dangerous. Gently he stroked her hair, listening to her breathing briefly before speaking. "You awake honey?"

Janey was only half conscious, in that odd state between dreams and reality, when she was often conscious of the fact that she was dreaming. The bad thing, though, was that even in this state she couldn't wake herself from nightmares. So when Danny's voice invaded the realm of her subconscious, she woke with a gasp, as though she'd jumped into a lake of freezing cold water. She lay completely still, tense, breathing heavily. She could feel a heavy, intense terror on her chest, though she had no recollection of what the details of the nightmare had been.

He felt her body tense, and dropped his hand from her hair to pull her close, mouth by her ear as cooed her softly. "Shh, you're okay." He smoothed her hair back from her face, snuggling in a little closer. "You're okay."

Janey's breathing slowed gradually as she pressed herself into Danny's protective warmth. The previous night had been relief--not only had she slept, but she had slept without nightmares. Something about the girl's presence, the presence of someone who relied on her, someone vulnerable, had calmed her. With the girl gone, all of Janey's anxieties and feelings of worthlessness had come creeping back like shadows, and with them, the nightmares. There was nothing she could do to prevent them. Now she couldn't find her voice, and she didn't even know what to say to Danny.

Danny kissed her temple gently, breathing easier now that she was relaxing as well. "Baby, I gotta talk to you about something." He shifted, one arm still around her, holding from behind, but using the other to prop himself up on his elbow.

Janey tried to read Danny's voice, but couldn't. She was too tired and distracted, and anyways, he was generally good at masking the emotion in his tone. "Okay..." she said uncertainly. "What is it?"

He gave her a little tug, turning her so she faced him, but was still wrapped up in his arms. "You know that meeting I ran out to last night? It was for work. One of the detectives, he's trying to set up a bunch of strike teams, so that we can take out different mob hot spots." Danny brushed his hand through her hair, smiling at her. "He wants me to head one up. Says it will look good if I go for detective again, which could also mean he's going to back me if I apply again."

Although she hadn't expected anything specific, she certainly hadn't expected this. Work-related, but it was more than that of course. A mob team? A chill ran down Janey's spine at the very thought. There had been so much violence lately, and so many killings. They were finding bodies every day and it all had to be connected to the mob somehow, even if not directly. Now Danny was going to get even more mixed up in it than he already was? "That's...really good, I guess, professionally speaking," she began, trying to keep her voice level. "But...is it...safe?" What a stupid question to ask, but she didn't know how else to express her fears for him.

"That's sort of what I wanted to talk to you about," he told her, voice not giving away how wary he was about the whole ordeal. "Hollis wants to put me on a Konovich raid. Which means it will be dangerous." Although not as dangerous as the blow back of a DiGiovanni raid. "If you tell me not to do it, I won't, but this is good. And if we succeed, we could be doing something huge for this mess of a city."

"That's a pretty...important decision to give to me," Janey replied. Of course she didn't want him to do it, but was he giving her full power to say so and prevent it? He'd never put her in a position like this before, which worried her. It was obviously more dangerous than he'd even let on. And of course she wanted to tell him not to do it, because it was so rare for her to be in an actual position where she could do something to protect him! But at the same time, she knew how selfish it would be. Danny had obviously been offered the position by someone who knew he'd be good for it--and therefore, good for the team and the cause. She couldn't let them all down by clinging to him. It was in his own best interests as well, in raising his chances of getting the promotion. How could she put her foot down and destroy all that just to keep herself from worrying?

Danny smiled the sweet smile he reserved for just his wife. "I didn't really mean to lay it on your shoulders. It's my decision to make in the end I suppose. I just didn't want you to not know about it. I wanted you to know. Just in case." Leaning down he kissed her forehead. "I'm not that worried though. Hollis had to give me the standard warnings, but I think I can handle my own just fine." Maybe he was lying about why Jakob had warned him, but that didn't mean the rest of Danny's statement wasn't true. He wasn't that worried; he knew he'd make it out just fine.

It seemed Danny had just talked himself into the decision--so Janey didn't need to give her input after all. Which was good. She would have lied, of course, and told him to go ahead with it, but still, she'd rather not have to encourage him towards something she was truly uncomfortable with. "You can," she told him. "You've proved that plenty of times." She was trying to at least back him up with moral support, but wasn't sure how convincing she sounded.

"You know I'll always come home to you right?" He smoothed her hair back again, thinking about all the different ways he meant that statement. For as much as he'd loved Stella, she would have never taken him away from Janey.

A wave of warmth and comfort washed over Janey's entire being when Danny said that, and she felt tears spring in her eyes, though she wasn't sure why. She bit her lip and nodded against his chest, not trusting her voice.

Danny tightened his grip on her just a little, leaning in to breath in the smell of her hair. He'd told Jackson he didn't regret what had happened between him and Stella, but lying here with Janey it was hard not to. Whatever he wanted to call it, the acid of it bared its fangs, biting at his core. There was no way Danny would admit the affair to his wife, but that didn't change that in this moment he wanted to fix it, to make up for something she didn't even know about.

Janey lay quietly for a moment, trying to calm herself by matching her breathing to Danny's. "Knowing that doesn't change how terrified I'll feel every time I'm waiting up for you," she murmured.

"I know baby," he murmured, mouth close to her ear. Another pang of guilt ran through him as he thought of all the nights he hadn't come home to her to be with Stella. Was she terrified for him those nights too? "This is going to work out though, I promise."

Danny's promises, and the warmth of his body beside her, soothed her, and Janey felt herself slipping back into sleep. She tried to fight it, afraid of the nightmare that might return, but she was exhausted. She turned and gave Danny a tender kiss. "Love you."

He caught her cheek in his hand, pulling her in closely kissing her a little harder, then pressing his forehead against hers. "I love you too," he whispered as he felt her start to drift. He would see to it that it worked out, it would have to work out.