Back Alley Meeting

Who: Maddy and Roy
When: Afternoon
Where: Occam Automotive

After everything that had happened in the shop coupled on top of her conversation with Pepper, Maddy was feeling contrite. She had to make things better, she really had to, and the easiest one to start with was Roy. Because Roy wasn't leaving her and Roy was the last one she talked with and she knew that he'd be in a mood. Maybe. Probably. Possibly?

So with her bag of work clothes over one shoulder, Maddy carried a smaller bag with a sandwich and chips for Roy. Hopefully he hadn't had lunch yet.

She arrived at the garage, looking out of place with her pink cardigan and pleated gray skirt, hair braided down her back among the cars and the grease. "Roy?" she called, walking slowly between the cars looking for him.

Roy really didn't expect visitors. Kinda ever. Only apparently lately, he was getting them. go figure. Either way, however, he heard his name being called, and knocked his head slightly on the underside of the hood of the car he was working on, and he brought his hand up to hold where he'd bumped it. "D?" he asked, careful not to use her real name since it was public and all. Some of the guys in the garage laughed a little, though the one he had been working with pushed him forward, almost making him stumble, but not quite. There was something said about there being a lady calling, so he'd best go see to that, but he wasn't paying nearly enough attention to catch the whole phrase. Instead, he just walked over. He noticed she looked...what, dressed up? Was that it? He wasn't sure. "What're you doing here?" he asked. Not in a way that suggested he was pissed she was, but he was a bit confused. "Is something wrong?"

Maddy didn't answer him immedietly, sending a superior, narrow eyed look at one of the men who laughed. "I brought you lunch," she said finally, looking back at him with her expression softened. "And I wanted to say I was sorry," was tacked on quietly. She rocked back and forth on her heels, looking back at Roy's coworkers. "Can we go somewhere and talk? Or should I come by later. I don't mean to bother you at work." She sounded uncertain. Maddy had never come by to see Roy while he was working. She actually had never visited anyone at work and she wasn't entirely sure if what she was doing would get Roy in trouble or not.

"Oh, um, sure, out back?" he suggested, taking a towel from one of the racks to wipe his hands off on. He wasn't actually sure if he'd get in trouble or not, but maybe if it wasn't too long or something, it'd be okay. He started to lead the way, glad for once it wasn't raining. So there was a little metal table out back, where people sometimes sat and ate lunch. He led her there, and after a few moments, he grabbed another towel from around, and set it over one of the overturned buckets people sat on. He didn't figure she'd appreciate getting dirty, and there wasn't anything clean about a mechanic's shop. "Did you get my message?" he asked.

"No," she said with a shake of her head, taking out his wrapped up turkey sandwich and a bag of chips and setting them on the table. "But I got a job. I'm not... well, it's at the Kitten Club and before you say anything, it's just bussing tables. Nothing with me dressing up or anything like the girls do." She held up the bigger bag she was carrying, with the shop logo on the side. "I mean, yeah, it's the Kitten Club, but if I do well there, then that gives me references for a better job." She was reminded of what Evelyn said, how having a good uniform would help. "What was your message?" Roy wasn't sitting on the bucket so she figured it was for her and she sat down with a quiet sigh. Her feet kind of hurt. Probably because her shoes were too big.

Roy pulled up another one and sat down, not quite sure how to react to someone bringing him lunch. He'd never quite had that before, so it was a little strange for him. Not in a bad way, but still. He also definitely flinched slightly at the mention of the Kitten Club. "I might have found a better job for you." he said. "I met this woman the other day. Rich, definitely. I signed on to fix things around the place when she needs it, and she wanted a maid. So...private residence work for someone rich, just one place." he said. Which was a pretty sweet deal, all things considered. And it wasn't at the kitten club.

Maddy looked a little doubtful. "Maybe," she said, not really sure if she liked the idea of being some single, rich woman's maid. Marian, she was not, and it seemed like more of a Marian Job than her kind of job. She was rather proud of herself for getting the Kitten Club job on her own. "My first shift is tonight. I mean, I was gonna be there anyway. I'm meant to be sketching the band tonight, but at least for sure I get paid. And they were really good about it, because of how it is." She offered him a little smile, absently playing with the handles of her bag. "I'm sorry. For how I was the other day."

Roy took the sandwich, knowing he should probably eat it, or it might be rude or somesuch, even if it was still odd for him to be served. "...that place isn't a good place." he told her, tone quiet. For instance, he knew he wasn't allowed to go there. Even if it wasn't really a place he'd go to on his own anyways, because of who his other 'employer' was, he knew that place was off limits. And that really could only mean one thing. That it was mob affiliated, just not the one he was kind of sort of doing things for. "And it's okay." he told her. "...I just wish things were different." he said. "...you promise you're done with that place? It's all over? You won't go back ever?" he asked, really needing to hear that. in so many words.

"Never. I don't want to go back there." She reached up to rub one of her eyebrows, which had been mercilessly tweezed and she was impatient for them to grow back. "I just want to forget all about it." She thought about what she told Pepper. "I think the fever fried my brain or something. I've been feeling... weird ever since I got sick. I mean, I've been tired of stuff. Of my relationships, of my situation, of... everything." Maddy bit her lip, reaching back and untying the black ribbon from her hair so she could run her hands through it. "Can we forget it ever happened?"

Roy was fairly certain that he was never going to forget it happened, just because of how sick it had made him even to think about it. No, he wouldn't be wiping that from the memory banks, no matter how much he actually would want to. "Sick of your relationships?" he asked, that standing out for him, and it was better than agreeing to forget about something he wasn't going to be. He didn't really need to articulate that to her, he didn't really want to bring anything back up. Especially since she seemed very much like she'd listened to him, and was trying. So, yeah. Witness him not wanting to slap that down in any way.

"I'm not the easiest person to get along with, if you haven't noticed," she said with a little quirk of her lips, stealing one of the potato chips from the bag. She wasn't incredibly hungry but it was something to do. "Relationships are hard. People are difficult to deal with, especially because they think for themselves and don't listen to everything you say." Maddy made it sound like a huge affront, that the populace would not bend to her will. "Sometimes I just get so tired of feeling. I wasn't lying when I said I hate it when you and Dodge fight. Do you know how much it sucks, having the two people you care about most in this world not get along. No matter whose fault it might be," she added quickly before he could say anything about Dodge being difficult or responsible. It was just the principle of the thing. "And I miss my brother. God, I really miss him."

Really, Roy had no intention of blaming Dodge. As far as he saw it, it was just how it went. How it was going to go. They didn't get along. End of story. Some things went like that. He ate a few bites of his sandwich, though didn't really taste it, so much. He was busy thinking over what she just said. Especially in light of the fact that according to her, Dodge had left her. Just...walked out. Or, away, at any rate. It occurred to him that even if he promised to stay and kept that promise, she was still preoccupied with him. It wasn't a jealousy issue or anything, just an observation. Like maybe it would be easier on her if she just picked Dodge. He was sure Dodge would like that. She wouldn't have to worry about the two of them fighting anymore. And Roy saw it all as a very messed up, abusive sort of relationship between the two, but Madeline sure as hell didn't seem to see it. And as much as he wanted her to, there wasn't anything he could really do about that that he hadn't already done. "I'm sorry you still can't find him." he said quietly, after a very long silence.

Maddy shrugged, winding and unwinding the ribbon around her hand. She was glad Roy didn't say anything about Dodge, because she still wasn't sure what she should exactly do there, and she felt bad for bringing it up, even though she told Roy that she didn't favor the other boy over him. But that was how her mind worked and Roy's didn't. "Sometimes I think I should give up," she murmured, glancing at him before looking away, ashamed that she had even said it. That she had even voiced the possibility that she should give up on looking for her brother. "It's not your fault he... got lost." The 'got lost' part didn't sound as sure as it used to, that Maddy wasn't as sure of the reason anymore.

"That's up to you." he told her. Really, he had an opinion on that. A strong opinion, even, but he knew she wouldn't want to hear it. And while he was the source of unwanted information in her life, he was the guy who told her shit she didn't especially want to hear, right now, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He was aware in some distant fashion that he was in a downswing, just one that happened to be moving a lot slower than he'd thought it would. But a downswing none the less. One that sent him farther down the rabbit hole, as it were. Where darker thoughts held much more presedence and sway, and made him quieter than usual. "Do what's best for you." he added on the end, even if he was pretty sure she didn't know what that was.

"How is anyone supposed to know what's good for them?" she asked curiously. It wasn't quite clear if it was a rhetorical question or not. "How do we know the difference between what we need and what we want? Is there a difference?" Maddy wanted to lean over and wrap her arms around Roy, have him hug her and tell her that everything was okay, but Roy wasn't always the type to feed her lies of how Eidolon City was a bubble of sunshine and rainbows and perfect things.

Drawing in a breath, Roy took another bite of his sandwich and propped his cheek against his fist as he regarded her. "There's a difference between want and need." he told her. "I figure in some people's lives, they intersect, but mine...there isn't a whole lot of cross over." he admitted. "I don't know about your life. And I'd say if looking for your brother just causes you pain, maybe it's time to stop, and if he finds you, good, if he doesn't, maybe he wasn't worth finding, because maybe he wasn't looking. If either of you had a better shot at finding the other, it'd be him. He's older, likely has more resources, and he's had all the time in the world. He'd have opportunities to do that where you haven't. But I also know about not giving up on something, just because it isn't practical." he added. "I still want to get my siblings out from the orphanage. I still wait for Marian to come around, even if sometimes it's a long time between times seeing her." He was quiet again for a second. "I don't know about knowing what's good for you or not. But I'd think keeping yourself in pain wouldn't fit that."

Maddy was quiet after he spoke. Her lips were pursed slightly and she reached out, resting her hands on the table. The metal was cool under her fingers and she lifted them slowly, looking at the spots left behind evaporate in the cool air. She wanted to say that he should get his siblings out of the orphanage as soon as possible, that there was the terrible monster there who were hurting them, but Robert didn't hurt everyone and life at the orphanage for those he didn't hurt? Wasn't too bad. Better than living on the street never knowing when the next meal would come. If you'd be safe.

"I think I'm going to take a break from looking for him," she said finally. "I don't want to give up, but I need a break."

Nodding, he accepted that. Almost like he was helping her make the decision, even if he knew he wasn't. It was Madeline. He was always aware that she was going to do what she was going to do, end of story. There was no control, only influence. Not that Roy would ever look to control anyone. It wasn't the way his mind worked. "Then take a break. Maybe it'll be good for you." he said. He finished the sandwich, thinking over his next words. "Maybe taking a break from everything you aren't happy with right now might be best." Which probably included him.

"I kind of tried that," she said, thinking over the strange time she spent on her own from after her time with Roy and Dodge, where Alyson made her food and she sobbed in the girl's bathroom for an hour, to the long walk she took to the brothel. "It made me want to kill myself. I'm pretty sure that's what I was feeling. I don't do good by myself." Now that he was done with his sandwich, she leaned over and wrapped her arms awkwardly around his waist, leaning over to hug him. "But I feel a lot better today. Pepper kind of whipped me into shape. I feel better." Even if she did feel better, she was still a fifteen year old girl in the throes of hormones and their whims.

Either he was going to have to get used to getting hugs, or he was in for a lot of vague twitching. At least it was internal. He hesitated a second from the surprise, but then put his arms around her, sort of half hoping the guys weren't watching from the back window. If they were, he was going to have to put up with one hell of a lot of teasing, for a girl he wasn't even with. But they really probably weren't going to buy that. Not after she showed up looking sort of well put together, brought him food, and was hugging him. Mostly, however, he was just hugely aware of the fact that she'd said the words 'want to kill myself'. Which in absolutely no way was acceptable. "If you ever feel like that, that you want to...to end things...god, come find me. I don't care where I am or what I'm doing, okay?" he said, sounding about as distressed as he felt at the idea.

Maddy pulled away after a moment, rebraiding her hair and tying it with the ribbon. "I don't plan on feeling that way in the future, but if I do, I'll keep that in mind," she told him with a grin, which was a bit odd, considering the subject matter, but it was a classic Doll Girl grin, to show him that she was feeling much better all around. No more suicide thoughts in that noggin.

Roy looked wholly unconsoled with that. But then again, he often thought of her Doll expressions as manipulations, just something she knew worked with everyone else, meant to end the talk, or get her what she wanted, but that was all. He didn't call her on it, he just didn't look like he felt any better. He wasn't someone who heard someone he cared about talk about suicidal tendencies, and then forget about it a second later. Things tended to stick with Roy, good or bad, though unfortunately for him, it was usually the bad stuff that stuck harder. In the end he just nodded, accepting her statement, even if he didn't look like she'd set his mind at ease.

She sighed, her look turning from the grin to fondly exasperated with him. "I promise," she reiterated, making sure that was very clear and very sincere. "I promise that if I ever feel like that ever again, I will come talk to you, okay?" Maddy grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly. She hated the unconvinced look on his face. It tended to happen a lot and it was a little frustrating but there wasn't much she could do except show Roy that she meant it.

It was less that he didn't trust her and more that he knew the girl was a very changeable personality. That when the mood struck, Madeline was possibly capable of anything. That depending on her mood at the time, she could just say screw it and not follow through. Not a very nice thing to be aware of, but he was. Still, he made the attempt to give her a smile, light though it was. It was genuine, at least. "Okay." he said to her, acknowledging her promise. He squeezed her hand in return as well.

Maddy gave him another smile, kissing his cheek and sliding off the makeshift seat. "I should let you get back to work," she said quietly, looking at the back door of the auto garage. She had a feeling that someone had been poking their nose out and she didn't want to make things awkward for him in work. She was a little sorry that she had told him how badly she had coped in those two days (or had it only been one? She could barely remember it) but she just needed to tell him, even if he wouldn't tell her that everything was peachy keen. She wanted him to know that things got bad for her too.

Roy was apparently going to have to get used to getting little smooches, too. Affection had not been a part of his life for ages, so it, like the hugs, made him feel a little awkward. It was possible he blushed some, especially since he knew for sure now that he'd be getting shit about it the second he walked back into the garage. It took almost a second there for him to catch up with current events, that she was leaving. "Um...do you want to check out that job at all? And when'll I see you next?" he asked. He kind of thought that might have been the first time he had asked something like that, but it was out there before he could think better of it.

Maddy was pretty sure she wasn't going to, at least not when she had just got a legitimate job (even if it was at the Kitten Club) but she nodded anyway. And him asking when she'd see him next? That was something he'd never really said before. At least, so blatantly and she looked startled. "Well, you know where I am and stuff," but she figured maybe that wasn't what he wanted. "Tomorrow, maybe? I can tell you how my first day went." And she looked excited about it. Genuinely nervous and excited. Because it was her first real job that she went and got on her own.

"Okay." Roy said, accepting that, but then, he would have accepted any answer she gave him. And he was still slightly wondering about himself at having asked. Maybe it was because he'd seen a lot of her lately, and that, along with the fact that she'd just been talking suicide, he wanted to know that he would see her again, instead of like most of the people like them--it was possible they'd just be gone one day. "Have a good first day, then." he told her, seeing she was excited. Maybe it'd be good for her.

She grinned, pleased at his support and grabbed her bag. "Thanks." She looked back at the garage, deciding that she should go through the alley instead, as to not inconvenience Roy in his workplace any further. "Don't worry about my honor," she said, referring to his coworkers. "If I need to defend it, I will." Which mean she didn't want him getting sore over whatever they might say. Maddy didn't want Roy losing his job over what maybe she shouldn't have done, but she did like doing something nice for Roy, especially when she'd been so terrible lately.

Roy made a bit of a face. "...I'll try to keep that in mind." he told her. "Thanks for lunch, again." he said, since he had really appreciated it, even if it was odd. It wasn't like he ate well most of the time, and it wouldn't be the first time he hadn't had a lunch at all--which today he wouldn't have, if she hadn't arrived. "Careful if you're out after dark." he said, figuring she would be, with her job.

"I will, promise." She kept grinning at him as she walked past him, patting his shoulder. "Have good day, Roy." She felt better after talking with him, although her choice about pausing in her search for her brother was something she needed to think about more later. She had been looking for him for five years now. To not look for him would be.... it felt wrong, but Roy also had a point in causing herself pain and she was so very, very tired of hurting.