Bad News

Who: Maddy and Marian
Where: Outside NightHawks
When: morning

Marian finished up her shift, collecting her tips which were meager at best, but the weather wasn’t terrible which meant there had been customers overnight. Exhausted she rubbed at her eyes as she opened the door and tugged her coat closer around her. Not for the first time she wished she had made enough to justify the bus fare home so she wouldn’t have to walk, but that wasn’t an option. Even if her tips had been good she’d need the money to live on, not to splurge on things like bus fare.

Maddy had spent the night helping out with the production crew, talking paints and ink with one of the girls in the make up department. She was designing tribal markings for the ‘injuns’ which Maddy didn’t recall being done in other productions, but the make up girl was ‘bohemian’ and apparently doing things with the director that shouldn’t be done in the dressing room. It made her feel better, finding someone who seemed okay to take her under her wing.

The gloomy mood returned however when she skulked just down the road from Nighthawks to wait for Marian to finish with her shift. How was she going to tell Marian that Roy had just walked into the tunnels to never return? She was having a hard time coming to terms with it herself. It didn’t feel like it had actually happened, like any minute Roy would show up with his slouchy shoulders and everything would be okay. Sighing, she looked back up the street and saw Marian coming her way. “Marian!” She called, waving a little.

Marian looked up at the sound of her name, forcing the sleepiness away and a smile in place as she saw Maddy. “Hey there DG,” she greeted, calling the girl by her nickname out of habit. “What are you doing here?”

Maddy wished she could smile back but she couldn’t. “I...” she started but couldn’t find the next words to say. She wiped her hands on her skirt. They were bare, no gloves, and the fingers were shaking a little bit. God dammit. “Um, I went asking around about Roy.”

For a moment Marian was confused and then she shook her head. “My brother?” she asked slowly, coming to a stop in front of Maddy. The smile faded a little, not quite to a frown but to a more passive face than she’d worn before. Maddy didn’t look like it was good news.

Maddy nodded. “He, uhm... he went into the tunnels,” she said softly. Tunnels. No one came back from the tunnels, especially not in the state Roy had been in. “I’m sorry, Marian.” Was she meant to hug her? What was she supposed to do when she herself was having a hard time dealing with it.

Marian didn’t do much of anything right away. She stared at Maddy, just waiting for something to register properly. Her brother had gone into the tunnels. The tunnels under the city. The ones that people didn’t go down unless they belonged. The same tunnels that people didn’t come back out of again. “I...” Marian stammered, eyes going wide as it started to take root in her mind. He wouldn’t come back. He’d gone down there and he was gone. She staggered back two steps, as if moving away from Maddy would make it less real. “No.”

Maddy leaned against the low wall and wished shoved her hands in the pockets of her coat. “My contact said that he’d gone down a few days ago. I’m sorry, Marian. S’my fault.” She felt like it was. That thing that pushed him over the edge even though in all reality, what had pushed Roy over the edge was a culmination of things. Maddy still felt responsible. “I’d go down looking for him -- I want to -- but I sorta can’t.” She did want to go down there, it just wasn’t as intense considering how numb she was feeling.

Marian shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself as she tried hard not to cry. There was no need to cry here on the street, she was bigger than that. “No, don’t. No.” She turned away biting her lip hard to keep from crying. He was gone. The last thing he said to her was horrible and now he was gone.

The thing was that while Maddy had times where she did a lot of crying, she didn’t have much practice in comforting other people who cried unless they were small children. She’d try with Marian, but Marian was doing what she did. The wrapping arms around one’s self and the turning. “Then what can I do for you?” she asked hoarsely. “What can I do to make you feel better?” She was at a total loss. She should know how to comfort people, especially the sister of someone she considered a brother but all there was inside was this panic of ‘am I doing the right thing? Am I being a good person?’ and that empty, hollow feeling that still wouldn’t acknowledge that Roy was really and truly gone.

Marian didn’t realize she’d bit her lip so hard that was bleeding until she tasted copper in her mouth. Letting go of it she swallowed hard, shaking her head again. “It’s fine. Don’t worry. Thank you,” she said as graciously as she could manage with eyes shining with tears and a voice thick with pain.

She felt like absolute dirt just standing there with no idea what to do. “You’re, um, welcome,” she said. “Do you want me to walk home with you?” She could do that for Marian. Maddy was a lot better at doing ‘I’m Sorry’s’ than breaking deathly announcements.

Marian’s eyes had drifted off, looking down the street past Maddy while she tried to comprehend the idea of never seeing her brother again. Already her memories of him had start to fade, nothing more than just his tone as he told her to leave him alone. Sighing, she shook her head as she brought her eyes back to Maddy. She couldn’t smile, not yet, but she did have a better handle on her emotions. Shoving them down she swallowed hard. “Oh, no, you don’t have to do that Maddy. I appreciate it though. For looking. Thank you.” The words were a little clipped but she was trying. “It’s good to know.”

The clipped tone wasn’t helping Maddy’s guilt at the absolutely horrible job she was doing at this. And what was worse was that she was already forgetting the major features of his face. His voice, that wasn’t going anywhere, but what he looked like... for some reason she couldn’t quite remember. “Well, if you need me, you know where to find me,” she said in a last ditch effort to not be a tool.

Marian found the smile, the happy waitress persona finding its way onto her features. It wasn’t a bright smile, but it was a smile. “Of course. I do appreciate it. I promise.” There wasn’t much else to say and in that moment Marian’s fatigue was forgotten as she started off, headed away from the diner but now quite towards home. She wasn’t sure where she was going, her feet were leading the way, but walking seemed like a good idea. A lot of walking.