charged the lightbringer

Who: Benny and Zhen
Where: Fontaine Park
When: Evening

Unsurprisingly, sobriety wasn't helping anything. Benny hadn't bothered with a drop of liquor since yesterday, in fact, when he'd poured his bottle out in front of Lian. Lian... his little sister, suddenly returned to him after so many years, but a stranger now. Possibly an enemy, for all he knew. It had been confusing him, leaving him fretful and anxious ever since she'd said her name yesterday. And while he welcomed the change from the standard numbness he lived with on some level, Benny knew that this feeling was throwing him off of his game.

He hadn't gone out looking for a target, or even for a woman. Not a drop of drink was touched, and really his only indulgence on this day had been a hefty steak for lunch, hours ago. He'd been in seclusion otherwise, sitting in his room in the Shores, either cleaning his myriad guns or haltingly practicing the combinations of letters he was learning from his children's books. They were definitely easier to memorize than pinyin characters, but for such crude shapes, the combinations seemed endless and daunting.

He'd been struggling with the complexities of 'ch' words when Benny had finally given up, tossing his notepad aside in frustration and pulling on a coat as he left the motel behind. The grey skies overhead matched his mood for sure as he walked through the greens of Fontaine Park with part of a vendor-cart hotdog in hand, absently chewing without really even tasting his food.

Zhen was out. She was out, and she was singing. The park was a lovely place. She liked the park. Even after the sun went down and it was kind of a weird place to be, she loved it--though Zhen was never one to really shy away from anything just because it might be unpleasant at some point. She had climbed up onto the base of the statue of the founder, the person no one could seem to remember, and she was quite loudly singing in her native tongue, a jovial, silly little tune, that seemed to hop back and forth between a nursrey rhyme and a drinking song. Zhen wasn't always picky with specifics.

She was also dancing around the statue, spinning around, her long, colorful skirts going flying out around her like a pinwheel. She jingled, too, little bells in a belly dancer's belt around her middle sounding as she moved. She also actually had a pinwheel in her free hand, and as she spun, she watched the pinwheel spin, the glitter she'd stuck to it earlier catching little fragments of light from the park lamps.

The song reached Benny before the sight of Zhen did, but not by much. Of course he recognized the drinking parts of the song she was singing, and even if hearing them here was an oddity? It was a welcome one. He'd never found trouble in the presence of that particular song, for sure, it was just too cheery and goofy, normally ending with the (very drunk) singers rolling in laughter together. But as he approached, he had to wonder about who it was singing this time. If she was drunk? She was a practiced drunk, what with how she spun and reveled on the statue in the heart of the park.

In all, the sight of her was such an oddity that Benny couldn't help smirking a little, losing a bit of his apprehension and concern against the cheeriness of it all. She even had a pinwheel that matched the flow and twirl of her skirts, for heaven's sake! And any ridicule he might've had? Well, it was never levied against a woman as cute as he thought this one might be, given the glimpses he got of her as she spun. "By tomorrow we'll be aching," he called to her in the same language Zhen sang in, finishing the drinking song, "Rosy cheeks become regrets?"

Zhen burst into giggles when he approached, and spoke. She smiled brightly at him, seeming to light up even more, if that were possible, and she held her arms out, like she expected him to catch her when she lept down. And, then, she actually did leap down, just expecting him to keep up with current events. "Hello, fair stranger! I have a gift for you!" she told him, just before said leap of faith.

That was about as unexpected as it ever got for Benny, and he was a man who lived with constant expectations of surprise. But those surprises never included a woman who he hadn't even met just leaping into his arms; that was a wholly different sort of chaos than what he was used to. Still, extensive martial training made it hard for him to ever be truly flat-footed, and as Zhen sprang from the statue's edge at him, Benny gave a laugh of delight. His free hand pistoned upward, flinging his hotdog into the air to join the other in reaching out for Zhen.

He shifted back on one heel as he caught Zhen closely around the waist, sweeping her out from the statue in an arc that went with her jump and settling her in close to him with a look of sheer amusement, even resting her feet atop his to give her an extra bit of height. "A gift?" he echoed, grinning roguishly as he plucked his falling meal from the air, "The heavens already provide me with food, shelter, and now company. How else can I be so blessed?" The good humor was genuine, but even if it had been forced, it would be necessary. Who ever knew if someone worked for the enemy? Could he ever afford to let his guard down? And beyond those practical concerns, could he really stay mired in his own worries when faced with such reckless enthusiasm?

"Never count yourself as finished with blessings." she told him with a wide smile, and then she gave him a sound kiss, pushing up on her tiptoes even while her feet were still atop his. Then she stood back, and beamed, leaning far back, without care, and either she would fall, or he would catch her--she didn't seem overly bothered which.

Hands that were still at Zhen's waist from her leap were a good way to hedge the odds that he would catch her, but being kissed like that? In a way so impulsively that it should've been Benny himself doing it? Well, it was a surprise. What? he thought with a startled grin as he kissed her back, winding Zhen into him for the instant she was there. Benny held tight, letting Zhen drape herself back against his arms as he fought the immediate urge that came with his lips still buzzing, the one that said he should kiss her again. "In your honor, I will never take them for granted," he assured her as he dipped Zhen back, then lifted her in towards him.

Zhen grinned, and swung her arm back and forth as she got lifted back up, allowing it to happen, and getting her pinwheel to turn. Then, when she was upright again, she put her arms around his neck, and she was smiling brightly at him. "Then I shall count this night as a roaring success, and be pleased with the universe for sending you into my path. For mine is the way of wisdom, growth, pain, suffering, pleasure and joy. And now your world is just a little wider." she told him.

Call Benny easily distracted, or perhaps easily devoted to the moment. Whichever it was, those words sparked something in him; they reminded him of one of his first teachers back in the East, a man who'd only hoped to impart the joy of existence, and the marvel of it showed in a spark in Benny's eyes. "And does the first female Buddha have a name I may hold in my heart, to keep her wisdom company?" he asked, lifting Zhen up lightly and spinning them both to get her pinwheel turning behind his head. Was she a mad woman? She certainly wasn't a drunk, but Benny found himself wondering what could prompt such exuberance, if dementia wasn't it's root. Happiness for the sake of happiness was an idea that eluded him.

Giggling girlishly, an unfettered delight coming through, she let the pinwheel spin, holding it up where he could see it too, before she answered him. "The name bestowed upon me by the world in all it's wisdom is Zhen." she told him, eyes back on him. "Hold it close, don't lose it, and remember it when things are dark. I'll be there, I'll help guide you through, even if it's merely through memory, or the ghost of an emotion." she promised him.

"Closer than this," Benny agreed, nodding down at Zhen with a solemn expression that lasted exactly one second. He broke into a blazingly sunny grin, caught up in her verve that somehow made his smile even more compelling without it's usual careful manipulation. Zhen? His Buddha joke seemed all the more fitting now that he knew her name, and Benny seemed to hesitate just to take in the sight of her before he spoke again. "I will cherish this point of light in the dark," he promised, "How can I repay such insight? I am Huo, called Benny here, and nothing would make me happier."

Zhen reached up with her free hand and ghosted it through Benny's hair, smile still in place. It was always so nice when she met someone who didn't look at her like she was insane, who could just...move with things like it was natural. This certainly felt natural to her, though she understood most people would view her as terribly odd. But every so often, people surprised you. "Return the favor. Not to me, but someone else you meet. Bring light into the shadows, when next you're able." she told him, having absolutely no problem whatsoever coming up with a repayment for this. "Huo, it would be an honor if you continued this tradition, even if for just one soul."

If he'd been planning to actually finish the food he'd saved and held behind her back, Benny scrapped the plan as he felt fingers threading through his hair. His eyes shut as he let the hotdog fall away, head canting forward into Zhen's touch with a smile of enjoyment stuck on his lips. "Then let me honor you," he murmured sincerely even as his mind raced. Bring light into the shadows? He was a man who brought the last darkness to people, not light, what was he doing? "I will hope to tell you of my actions, sagacious Zhen, and no matter what, I will devote them to your spirit and wisdom." Strange. Strange indeed. But compelling in so many ways, so much so that Benny didn't want to let go of her yet.

Zhen didn't seem to really have any intentions of pulling away or anything, content to be standing on his feet, held in his arms, her fingers in his hair. "Thank you. And the forces at work in this city and the world around it thanks you as well." she told him, turning her face towards his, and she gave him a soft brush of a kiss, familiar seeming, even if they were total damn strangers. "This will help you, this deed, this act, this lightbringing. You'll be doing something good for them, and it'll be revisited upon you at some point, when you need it." she promised. And she certainly sounded like she knew what she was talking about, the conviction in her words plain.

Had the forces of karma already done what she was promising? It wasn't hard to see how crossing the path of his lost sister could be taken as an act of charity from the heavens, so now was he meant to repay it in the ways Zhen spoke of? Even more, her own 'lightbringing' as she called it had already eased the burden on his mind, for however long it might last. The wisdom she spoke with was the top of it, but there was also the simple comfort of a warm body next to his, and the familiarity of both her kisses and her touch as she toyed with his hair. "That is more than any man may ask," Benny confided, "But less than I would do in your honor." Then? Well, she'd kissed him twice now, both instances buzzing on Benny's lips with sheer vitality. He would be remiss if he didn't return the favor. He lifted Zhen up to him so her tiptoes were all that rested on his shoes, pressing in for a more lingering kiss of his own and trying to show his gratitude in it.

Zhen kissed him back as if it were the most natural thing in the world, keeping it light at first, before she put a little more passion into it, pushing against him lightly before she pulled back, grinning at him as she did so. It was possible she'd cut things off just before oxygen was truly going to become an issue, but she liked kicking up emotions, all sorts of them, and this was included. She watched his eyes, reaching up to caress his cheek. "What else would you do in my honor?" she asked.

Passion was a dangerous thing to fall victim to, and Benny rarely did. His exploits with women were more often about skill and conquest, about some sort of eventual release that could tune out the things he'd done. But if she was watching his eyes now, it was there in a very real sense, sparking in the browns as he ran a hand up her back. "Forsake my pride," he answered easily, "Stand against a host of your enemies..." Benny trailed away for a moment, head turning to kiss the underside of Zhen's wrist as he considered both the question and the woman asking it. She didn't strike him, with what little he knew, as the sort to be impressed by impossible bragging. "Go to the markets dressed as a woman, just to make you laugh?" he ventured with a crooked smile, "Stand in the rain and try to count the drops as they kiss me?"

He got a laugh just at that, as she watched him, studied him, kept a very close watch on everything he said and did, the look in his eyes, his mannerisms, everything. "My enemies are numerous, but they fall in my wake, however I appreciate your pledge to be my champion. I shall remember that, should the shadows with all of their sharp edges and razor blades rush in too closely. And I enjoy the last one. But then I think everyone should spend time in the rain, appreciating it. So many complain." Really, so many complained because it rained all the time in this city, but still. She was a fan of appreciating things. Even mundane, common things. "I also thank you for all you've said, but I require no other compensation or homage paid, beyond what I've already charged you with." she told him, rubbing her nose lightly against his, watching his eyes from up close. "I am a mistress of many things, bright and dark. But this is the only thing I require from you."

"And if I wanted to prolong this moment?" Benny asked thoughtfully, still wondering just how he'd gotten to this spot, "All things are dictated by heaven, but if I wanted to draw this instance out? What price might it carry?" He was caught up, that was for sure, and what she'd said about widening the world echoed in his ears in this moment. Letting go would, of course, plunge him into a world that had grown bigger. "I feel... alive," Benny murmured, "Caught by a stranger who seems to know me. I do not wish to abandon that feeling so soon." He hadn't spoken so honestly in some time now, and it felt liberating just to confess how captivated he was. "At the very least, I will see you from this place and chide your enemies as they fall."

"It will be prolonged!" Zhen promised, smiling sweetly at him. "I'm giving you a flower to remember me by." she told him, then motioned to the pinwheel, which she fully planned on giving to him. "You will keep it and I promise it will never wilt, and any time you need to see the brighter sparks in the darkness, look to it, and it'll provide. And should you wish to see me, I am sure you'll be able to find me. I am a spirit but not a ghost, I am a force of nature but made flesh for you to hold onto." she told him, taking a moment to nuzzle his cheek. "Alive and in a bigger world, with more light in it. It's a wonderful place to be. It's all new! You can look around and see things differently, if you so choose to!" She pulled back to gaze up at him again, smiling like she was content and happy. "As for the moment...take me someplace, if you choose. I will accompany you."

How was she doing this? How was she so adept at voicing things in the way Benny needed to hear? If he could find her, he knew he would find her in the future. If he could see things differently? Perhaps he would see them in a way that held answers about his sister. And most accurately, of everything she'd said? She was a force of nature, somehow more dynamic than anyone Benny had met since his first day of accepting his vengeance, and being able to hold onto her was like an anchor to moor in the strange perspective he was finding. "A flower?" he laughed, "I will treasure it always, and regret only that I have no gift to give in kind." Or did he?

She wanted Benny to take her somewhere? Where? His rooms at the motel seemed too crass a choice, even if a large part of him wanted to explore Zhen with a proper, lover's reverence. His mind raced as he thought on what she'd already said, what she'd sparked in him, trying to combine it all and find an unobvious choice. "Let me walk for you, then," he praised with an encouraging laugh, not sparing an inch between them as Benny turned with her and began to walk both of them out of the park, "I would like nothing more than to see the lights in the darkness with you, to see the boundaries stretch as my world expands to match yours." He had just the place in mind.

She giggled, a delighted sound, and her bells sounded as they walked. "They're everywhere, you know. People miss them all the time! But they're there! Those lights, they are. You just have to know how to see them. And now that your eyes are a little wider, caught by some, you'll see them more often too. I've put them in your eyes, and it'll take something to put that out again. Don't let it happen! Though if it does, I will be happy to re-light them for you." she promised.

Benny wasn't letting himself think about what could quell the lights in his eyes, because the answer wasn't a difficult one to come to. Instead, he laughed brightly as he moved them through the park and glanced past Zhen, seeking out the familiar horizon shape of the building he wanted. Spying it no more than a block or two beyond the park's edge, he leaned in to speak into her ear. "I believe you would," he agreed, losing to the urge to nuzzle just below her ear, "I think you would let your own flames be snuffed to light another's... but I would re-light yours as well, they should never grow dark. They should never dim in the slightest." Why didn't this city have more people like her? Riding a high she'd given him, Benny felt like enough people like her could topple the Lotus without the bloodshed.

She tilted her head invitingly when he nuzzled her. "You would take the time to re-light mine, should they grow dark?" she asked. "That is a wonderful gesture, and one I appreciate greatly. I am quite glad I met you, Huo. I am fortunate, a rich woman, tonight." she added. She twirled the pinwheel around, making it spin for them both. "Just do not forget that I am all things bright and dark, my sweet, my lord."

"But to be both?" Benny pondered with the quickest tease of his lips on her ear before he leaned back, "There must always be a fire in the darkness, my orchid." Pet names? They felt weird, both to speak and to hear, but at the same time they felt as fluid and natural as every other thing that had happened since she'd jumped, seemingly knowing he would catch her. Looking back, Benny grinned as the edge of the pinwheel's blades brushed his hair, pressing fingertips along Zhen's spine to keep her neatly balanced as he walked. "We are both fortunate, I believe," he agreed, finally crossing out of the park, "And what is your darkness? There are many marvels in it, I believe, that should not all remain mysteries."

"One has to be both, to be whole." Zhen told him, looking up at him, and really, not seeming to mind in the slightest that she had absolutely no idea where they were going, and she'd not once even attempted to look back to find out. Like she trusted him implicitly, and was more than happy to go wherever it was he was taking her. "My darkness, is simple. There always must be a fire in the dark, as you have realized, of course. But there must also be a darkness, on the edges of the light. The world is not whole without these things, people are not whole without them. And sometimes, I am great. And light. And sometimes, I am dark, and terrible. Everyone must experience the full range, know all the shadows in the light, all the lights in the darkness. If not, they are lost, incomplete shards, without their way."

My darkness is simple. Benny liked that, he felt that intimately. For all of the renown and legend that existed with the name Nine Dragons, it was a simple darkness as well. Benny had been wronged, and he would punish those who did it. "Simple darkness, existing because it must. Simple light, existing because it is joyous. But together? Complexity... yin and yang," he praised with a pleased smile. This grew more staggering with every word; it wasn't lust, it wasn't just debate, it was some strange fusion and fascination. "Let us be lost in shadows, seeking light," he finally said, turning to walk backwards and give Zhen a glimpse of the Alexandria as they drew closer to it. The burnt wing would be easy to break into, the space within a wonder in the dark, and Benny had seen a roof-access hut set on top of the building before. Tonight, he wanted to see the city from the peak.

Zhen saw the building behind them and laughed, quite pleased with their destination. She rather liked the library, particularly for it's deformity. If anything really did run along the lines of their conversation, that place did, and she wholeheartedly approved of his choice. She showed this by giving him a kiss for it, one on each cheek before she pulled back again to smile. "Perfection." she told him, and the world was meant to be attached to a whole host of things, and she hoped that he picked up that she meant it to.

She had nothing to fear there; Benny never had to work hard to take a compliment. In this case, he let that single word apply to his choice, to their shared insight, maybe to what she had expected from a total stranger in the park. "Only a tribute," he insisted as he moved to a window on the east wing that was covered by a loose tarp, "One I am pleased satisfies..." Putting his back to the wall, Benny grinned like a cat for a moment as he pulled Zhen snugly against him, kissing her brow lightly. "A tribute for you alone," he added as he raised her up smoothly, boosting Zhen towards the edge of the window and readying to shift his grip so he could leverage her through the rest of the way.

She definitely looked happy. And she climbed up with his help when he put her there, then peered down out over the ledge to him, holding her hand out to him. Even if it would likely be easier for him to climb up on his own, she still did it, feeling this was a group effort. A concerted one, of the both of them. She was going to choose a book for him, tonight, that was for certain. She wasn't sure which one, but it would come to her when she saw it. Then he would have the flower, and the book to remember her by, should he wish to. And she thought perhaps he would.

Zhen was right, Benny could've easily made his way up to the window. But the offered hand wasn't one he would ignore, and once he'd slid his fingers around her wrist he quick-stepped up twice off the wall, grasping the ledge with his other hand. Benny hauled himself up with a wiry ease to tuck into the ruined window with Zhen, grinning mischievously at her behind the tarp that had covered the window. "A light in the darkness, so you may be balanced," he murmured in close to her, digging inside his coat for his zippo and pressing it into her palm, "It is a harmony that is yours, I look to you to lead." He kept his hold on her other hand with a smile, ready and able to lower Zhen down.

Zhen took the lighter, and lit it, looking around the darkness as she did so. She didn't move from Benny immediately, staying in close, since she seemed inclined towards it. Then she slid her pinwheel into the bells chain around her middle, and used her now free hand to take his. She laced her fingers through hers, then started to walk through the ruined part of the library, where books still littered the floor, stacks were still there, some half burned down, some fallen over, others looking almost perfect, with only charring. as she walked, she glanced at titles they passed, though nothing seemed 'right' quite yet. she'd know it when she saw it.

On the other hand, Benny wasn't nearly so selective about his choice. He wanted to give something back, though it seemed like the night itself was a welcome thing to Zhen, but if she was giving him her 'perpetual flower' to remind him of this? She deserved a memento as well. He grabbed the first uncharred book he saw, neatly tucking it under his arm as they walked and peering at her in the faint light from the zippo. The light and shadow playing around her were mesmerizing, making him want to stop them mid-stride and create heat without fire, so to speak, but it didn't feel... right. She deserved something more, for the thought she'd sparked. "It is a tragedy, he murmured as they walked, catching sight of phantom stairs leading higher into the unruined parts of the library, "Do you think they ever see this place as we do now?"

"No." Zhen answered, without having to think about it. "They do not. They don't see any beauty here, they just leave it, hide it away, pretend it isn't there. Which is terrible. Look at the gorgeous scars." she said, motioning to the way the fire had pattered the walls, some of it fine, other parts charred right through. "But then people rarely find beauty in destruction, even if it's just as wonderful as creation. And they must coexist together, or everything would crumble, and nothing would birth in it's wake." She stopped as she did see a title that caught her eye, and she detoured to a shelf that was half burned away. A few books remained, however, and she chose one off of the shelf, the book itself burned partially, it's old hard cover barely holding on. Grimm's Fairytales was only just ledgeable on the spine. "This is yours." she told him, as if he'd merely forgotten it here at some point, it belonged to him.

Before, his illiteracy had only been a practical weakness. But now, seeing the faint letters on the spine of the book? Benny was wishing he could really know the gift he was being given, surely it had some significance. "I will cherish the reminder," he said earnestly, knowledge be damned, "And the elegance of its' existence, for few others would." He understood the meaning she spoke of, though in many ways he'd never considered it before. The beauty in destruction? It wasn't always easy to see for yourself. But who could truly say that the damage Benny had done had not yielded wonder in turn? And why had he only ever thought of it as necessary, instead of wondrous? "I have something for you as well, but you shall receive it under the watchful skies." That was what he wanted for both of them, to walk through the innards of this, as Zhen had said, gorgeous scar, and to sit atop it so that they could see its' fellows stretching across the landscape.

Zhen smiled at him, ticking her gaze between his eyes. "Then please, take me to see the skies." she invited. And, to tack onto that, she closed her eyes, and snapped the lighter shut. "I trust you to lead me." she told him, apparently intending to have him lead her blind through the dark, where she just allowed him to have full reign. And that was exactly what she was doing.

He was left with the afterimages created by the sudden loss of firelight; a ghostly negative of Zhen dancing before his eyes, framed by silhouettes of fire-blackened bookshelves. "Then I will not fail you," Benny answered, waiting for her eyes to shut before he tilted Zhen's chin up and lingered in a smolderingly slow kiss with her for a moment. Benny broke away, only to slip behind Zhen and wind his arms beneath hers, resting her hands on his forearms. "Step as I guide you, it will be safe," he whispered down to her as he started coaxing her towards the steps. One of his feet was sweeping wide, working deftly to encounter any tripfalls that might pop up in front of Zhen as he led her forward. And step by step, Benny did just that, marveling to himself about the stillness of the place, the after-fire smell that clung even to the undamaged sections, and the tiniest hints of streetlights that only marked where the windows were.

Once he'd gotten her to the foot of the stairs, his arms tightened just enough to lift Zhen again, standing her atop his own feet once more as Benny climbed each stair in turn and relished the closeness. "What do you see, with your eyes closed?" he asked as he brought them higher, seeking out the passage to the roof.

Zhen was perfectly compliant as he led her, happy to do whatever he directed her to, and having faith that no harm would come to her. When he asked the question, she smiled. "I see bright, flickering flames. I see smoke rising up into the sky. I see flowers, and a parade, and ghosts, wandering through the stacks, and the buildings in the city, trying to find something. A library is a lost and found, but this whole city is. This place is merely a better reflection of that."

Benny had less esoteric questions in mind, curiosities about Zhen herself and how she ended up as she was. Chinese women, by and large, weren't so forward or open with their thoughts, among other things, which made her all the more intriguing for him. But for now? Her answers held plenty of allure all by themselves. "We are all trying to find something," he noted as he crested the stairs, "Why should the dead be any different?" Staring into the near-pitch darkness of the library, he could almost visualize what she spoke of. Benny saw light peony petals falling in the darkness as if they were thrown from overhead, and he grinned to himself as an intact window spilled enough street light in to show a door that was marked 'Roof Access. Staff Only'.

"And what do you do with the things others lose, when you find them?" he asked as he popped the door open and stepped into the utter blackness of it, feeling his toe tap the edge of a stair. The question was as much about him as anything; he was deliberately lost in this city, and chance had somehow dropped her here. Benny doubted it would become something lasting, but it was still a strange enough encounter to leave him thoughtful about it all.

"That depends. If whatever is lost is lost because they threw them away, then they shouldn't get it back. So Lost things I direct somewhere else, a lot of the time. Give them to someone else, or give them a new perspective." Which implied half the lost things she found were people. "Each case is different, and each case gets treated accordingly." she added, not having to put a lot of thought into her philosopy, since it was such an important part of her as a person. "Also--you do not have to be dead to be a ghost." she tacked onto the end, even if his statement had been not necessarily one that needed commentary.

Am I a ghost, then? Benny wondered silently, considering as much as he could of this strange outlook that Zhen possessed. He'd certainly thrown his past life away, or perhaps it had been lost without him realizing, but whichever it was? Hou Shen was dead and alive at the same time. "You are a shepherd?" he asked with a little smile that was aimed in at Zhen's ear, "One who is both cruel and kind, yes? Because your world has no absolutes?" It was a strange thing to think on, and Benny himself had precious few absolutes already. But if Zhen was sincere, and every encounter she had with her 'lost' was different? Maybe he was one of them.

Reaching the last step and pushing open the door at the top, Benny wanted to give Zhen the time she'd need to answer, dying to see the next thread of her peculiar tapestry, as it was. But this view? Sometimes, it couldn't be denied. "Open your eyes, gatherer of the lost," he murmured as he turned her towards one edge of the building, "This... this is yours." To the east, Fontaine Park sprawled across the land, dark and dull with layers of shadow that grew deeper along the thoroughfare and were punctuated with the brief flare of a lighter or flashlight. West bore the sight of the Sixth Street bridge, glowing with faint pinpricks of light both from it's frame and from the traffic running along it even now. South, of course, was the Drake; a pinnacle of splendor that jutted up from the squalor of the city beneath it, but no matter which way Benny had aimed Zhen, dots of light spattered the streets like a reflection of the sky itself, if only it was a clear night.

She did as he said, and looked out over the lights, giving a light little delighted laugh as she did so. And she spun around, letting the pin wheel spin, and she let the lights dance as well. Then she stopped, and leaned her back against Benny, looking at them with a contented looking smile. "I love it." she told him, pleased, quite clearly so. Tonight was turning out to be a night she could very much appreciate, for a lot of different reasons. "Perhaps I am the ash gatherer." she mused as she looked at the lights, feeling the breeze. "It's pure, and it comes from the destruction of something else. And there is always destruction going on, of one description or another. Or, I am a spirit guide for the ghosts. There are so many..." she trailed off. "My world has no absolutes, because absolutes have no true place. They are merely the markers for which everything else falls between."

Benny hissed in a quiet breath, slipping his arms loosely around Zhen and trying to consider her words. Absolutes were... markers? To him, it was a confusing thought, but Benny hailed from a world where loyalty had meant everything. Of course, it only took him a moment to reflect on the feel of Zhen against him and the tickle of her hair against his nose as the wind swept it up to reconsider the world he hailed from. He'd shunned that loyalty... she was right. Absolutes weren't absolute.

"Do you believe in a chain reaction?" he asked quietly, "Setting events in motion? As if... you direct the lost somewhere, and they become found. And in turn they find another?" Lian was lingering in his thoughts, for sure: she was lost in the world of their enemies. Benny himself? He'd felt lost, too despondent and confused to even grab a drink, but now he was contemplative. "If there are ghosts, ashes, any sort of fragments among us... do they realize they have been destroyed? Or have they ended up the same as this place, oblivious to the wonder of themselves?" He liked that particular facet of her philosophy, the growth that came from destruction. Benny embraced that idea wholeheartedly.

"I believe in that, yes." Zhen said, nodding lightly as she put that out there. "I believe everything can be traced, it's just the patterns that get confusing, and the jumps that make no sense that lose people. Take a car accident for instance. People will find it random, but that does not mean it is. It can be traced to a car owner not properly maintaining the vehicle. Or drinking that night. Or a city worker who was overworked, and didn't get to fix a pothole, that had someone swerving, that had someone else trying to get out of the way...." she trailed off. "I believe ghosts are somewhat aware of their destruction. They're rarely aware of the wonder of themselves however. And those who are have missed the point. Fragmented individuals, most of them only see the world defined for them by the sharp edges. They view it all and only can describe things that cause them harm or pain, and therefore they don't see other parts. Or there are those that are blind to the darkness, and only see what they want to see--either way it's all willful blindness, on their parts. They just aren't aware of it. Opening their eyes is something most are resistant to."

Did she see all of this in him? Or was she merely waxing philosophical? Benny certainly felt some of it about himself. "How would you help them see, then?" he asked softly as he dropped the book he'd taken from the crook of his arm to a hand, "If my eyes needed to be opened so that I could see the whole picture, the change caused by destruction and the wonder of myself, where would you start?" He needed the advice, that was certain. Benny was still far too conflicted about his sister; whether he should reveal himself or put a bullet in her head and pray for forgiveness.

Zhen turned to face him, and she put all of her attention on him in that moment, looking him up and down, looking him in the eyes, and then she made a slow circle around him, letting her pinwheel ghost along his shoulders, almost like she were wielding a magic wand. When she stopped again, she was directly in front of him, facing him, and she let her eyes find his once more. Assessing, she remained silent for a good few minutes as she thought about it. Him. "Answer me this. When you first wake into the day, or the night, or whenever it is you come back to yourself from your journey into your own self, what is it that you think of?"

"Balance," Benny answered without missing a beat, "There are debts to settle in this city... I intend to settle them." For all the wonder and thought and enjoyment he'd had tonight? He wouldn't slip there, even if Benny knew he'd already phrased things in a mildly telling way. "I am aware of myself, my orchid, and I know I am a small thing next to my obligations." Honestly, it was a point of pride to Benny. Even the most loyal yakuza or triad soldiers he'd known were only loyal because they were told to be. He had no one demanding it of him, it was his choice.

Nodding, she took that into account, giving it serious thought. "This balance you seek. It is personal. Something that means something to you." she said, it not really phrased like a question, since she'd gotten it from his phrasing. "You say you are small next to your obligations. Are you so sure of that?" she asked him, arching a brow slightly, and she stood on tiptoe, to reach up, touch his face lightly with her fingertips. She traced little patterns, and while they seemed to have some purpose, they were unclear as to origin. "Wouldn't your obligations go unmet if you weren't there to take care of them? Does that not make you vital?"

He was feeling exposed, brow twitching slightly under Zhen's touch, but Benny remained where he was. The worst of his paranoia whispered that she'd made him, that maybe she was Lotus, but if she was? Benny would applaud this woman for such an ingenious approach on a target, then he'd throw her off the roof. "Only until it is finished," he answered as her fingers brushed over his face, "After it ends? What happens to me is irrelevant. Perhaps I will live for myself, perhaps I will take on a new debt." Most likely, he'd be dead, but Benny wasn't planning that far ahead yet.

Again, Zhen took her time thinking about his answer before she started to speak, apparently finishing her treatment to his features, and she stood back, hands clasping behind her back as she regarded him. "Are you saying you are only your purpose, then?" she asked. "Merely a tool, a cog in the machine, set to carry out a single task, and that is all?" She shook her head, and started to walk around him again, though in the opposite direction as she had the last time. "What happens to you is not irrelevant. What happens to you is paramount. Your task, whatever it is, is important, of course, but I see damage. And that damage is to your sense of self. Your task can't be completed, your self-inflicted destiny fulfilled if you discount yourself. For you are the instrument. And it all fails without you."

There was suddenly a feeling of slipping, falling, losing steady ground. Benny hated it, but even if he did? He couldn't deny the accuracy of Zhen's words in so many senses. "I am not only my purpose," he argued weakly, "What I do is an honor, the end result of many years of faith... carrying out this one task is all I have wanted for as long as I can remember." His childhood truly felt like a dream, a different life, and while he hoped to save his siblings? In the end all he really cared about was watching the eyes of every Lotus member he could find go cold and glassy when they died. But did she have truth there? Did he discount himself?

Benny's gut said no, he did the exact opposite. He glorified himself, always praising his own skill, charm, and ruthlessness. But... weren't all of those things that existed solely for his job? What am I without my vengeance? he wondered silently, and the lack of an answer was worrying. Buddhists believed that sense of self had to be discarded for enlightenment to be found, but he wasn't seeking it. What was more, he couldn't follow the teachings that said it had to be mended before it was abandoned. So what did he do? What did he want to do? Mend himself? Ignore the weakness? Cauterize the small vestiges of doubt that told him Zhen was right? "I cannot fail," Benny whispered, "I cannot. I... how do I heal this damage?"

She listened, nodding as he spoke, as she took in what he said. Not that she was agreeing, so much as she was encouraging him to speak his peace, to get out whatever he needed to. She also looked him in the eyes as she assessed, absently tapping her pinwheel against her hip as she did so, with a soft little spin-stop, spin-stop. "Close your eyes." She said when she finally did speak, voice soft. Light, but there was something beneath it, something wholly unreadable. "What you have to do, may be an honor. I do not doubt the validity of the sentiment, or your task." she continued. "However, it is narrow. You say it is all you have wanted, for as long as you can remember. You aren't that old, child, which means you've had this since you were small, or near enough. And as deeply rooted as it is, and as important as it is, it cannot be the all of you. If it is, it'll be hollow, because you are hollow. Your purpose is but a single thing, a single path. When the world is made of up of so many of them, each brilliant and terrible in their own right. If you never experience anything but what you happen upon in your task, you're a hollow soul. Less than a ghost, because ghosts, while lost, still wander."

She stood closer to him, taking his hands in hers, and she gently tugged, urging him to kneel. Taking his cheeks in her hands, she placed a soft kiss on each of his eyelids in turn, and then pressed a lingering one to where his third eye lay, that mystical chakra point that meant so much. When she spoke again, her words were murmured against his skin. "You are asleep, a dreamer caught in a single loop, a single path, and all that ever comes of those are revolutions, circles, one thing striking another only to continue along the same lines. It doesn't end. You believe it will, but it will only end for you. You'll set someone else on the same path, and it will start again. If you want to heal, you need to wander off the path. You need to deviate around it. I'm not saying you need to abandon it, but you do need to widen your eyes, you need to broaden your view. Otherwise, you'll be an empty shell, and I wouldn't want that for you, my sweet. I believe in you. I believe in you waking. In traveling past the ghosts. I believe in you coming out the other side, more than where you started, not finished and used up getting there."

It will start again. She'd said so much that was echoing through him, but that in particular struck Benny deeply. Had it already, perhaps? Had he killed some man whose children now swore vengeance? Doomed them to decades of training and grief and hate? If he had, he would pray for forgiveness, but he knew he couldn't change what had already been done... and maybe that was what Zhen was trying to make him understand. Her loop, her revolutions, perhaps they were what put him on this path so long ago, because of another like him. How do I wander? he thought, biting back the question. She was giving guidance, but she couldn't give every answer. If she did? He would only be walking her path instead of his own, whatever it might be.

Maybe Lian was the answer, in some sense. She and Jia... Embracing the family he still had, changing his life to fit around them, it was definitely a different path than an endless procession of death for the sake of family he'd lost. And maybe he needed to think to tomorrow, to not decide that the death of the Jade Lotus would be enough. What had Zhen said? All creation stemmed from destruction? It was time, perhaps, for Benny to look away from the destruction and see the world changing around him. More so, to change with it. Kneeling in the loose gravel of the roof with her hands on his cheeks, Benny wanted to confess it all to Zhen in that moment, to seek her counsel on every facet of his quest. He wanted to weep for the honesty of her words, the sincerity he could feel in her touch and her lips on his eyes; a gesture he hadn't felt since the last night he'd seen his mother. "I do not know if I am able," he confessed, "But I am willing. There is no way to return to what I felt before this moment, only spite could let me close my eyes to it... and I think I know where to start opening them wide, and seeing."

She brushed a light kiss over his lips before she stood straight, even if she didn't stand back far, gazing down at him. "I would never advise you to go backwards. Where you were is behind you and there is never a way back, no matter how often people seek to do so. Do not wish for it. It is not the place you should go, regardless. And that is good, that you know of a place to start." she told him, tone approving. "Remember what you promised me you would do. Keep with that, make sure you finish that task. Light up a stranger's dark, if only for a moment in time. What happens to them afterwards is not your concern, you are the lightbringer, not the guide. But everything starts with a spark. Wander. Take streets you don't know. Follow whims, should they occur. Don't let fleeting thoughts elude you. Don't wrest your attention back to your task, should it waver. Allow yourself to breathe. It might not feel like it, but it'll help you in your task in the end." Because she still wasn't telling him to give it all up. She just wanted him to travel a path that wound around his quest, not existed only of it.

"I am no wise man," he murmured, more to himself than Zhen even if he was nodding at her requests. "But even if I am a fool? I will hope to bring someone light, as you did for me." He owed her that much; even without the insight she'd given that still had Benny's head reeling, Zhen had managed to lighten him in some indescribable way. He would wander, and perhaps he would find someone he could connect with, some stranger who only needed a different perspective. Benny's was incredibly skewed, but maybe that was a good thing. It guaranteed that it was different, at least. "Thank you," Benny added in a quiet voice, finally daring to open his eyes and look up from where he knelt, "Thank you for the complications. A clear task and a clear understanding... they are very different, I see this now."

She was smiling at him, and she held her hands out to him, so she could help him up. "You're welcome." she told him. "And you are already wiser than you were before you crossed my path tonight. You are already taking those steps, so don't worry that the first one may be daunting--you've already surpassed it." she added, finally reaching out to press the pinwheel into his hand as she let go of it.

But would he stumble on the second? Was the first step a fall that he hadn't landed from yet? All Benny knew was that he wanted a drink, and that he felt like a coward for wanting one, for wanting to numb himself out against the confusion. Maybe tomorrow he would, but tonight he needed to think on it all. Taking Zhen's pinwheel in one hand and her free hand in the other, Benny rose to his feet gradually, leaving the book he'd taken on his own behind. He'd originally planned a bit of origami for Zhen, a keepsake to give in kind, but somehow it seemed like the token would fall short now. Not to mention the dual facts that she'd loved being brought here, and that listening to her world view seemed more satisfying for her than any gift might've been. "I do not know if I will see you again," Benny told her with a light, unsteady smile that showed some level of the inner turmoil she'd created, "But I hope that I do, whether I walk this road or fall from it."

Zhen smiled back at him, and she gave is hand a squeeze. "If you wish to see me, I'm sure if you wander far enough, you'll cross my path again." she told him. "And you have your reminder." she said, indicating the pinwheel. "I will be pleased to see you, no matter where you are. I wish to gaze upon this view you have given me for longer, but you...you have some thinking to do tonight, I believe, before you rest."

Normally, this would've been when Benny pulled her back into his arms for a farewell kiss that would curl her toes and change her plans for the evening entirely; a farewell kiss that always prolonged things, usually to his pleasure. But tonight, even with the closeness they'd shared? It felt wrong, like it would cheapen things, and considering that was a earth-shaker unto itself. No drink, no women... What did she do to me? He released Zhen's hand, stepping back to give her a slight bow with the pinwheel held between both palms. "May the heavens smile for you, little sister," he said in a purely honorary sense, smiling Zhen's way again before he turned back to the stairwell, tugged it open, and stepped into the yawning darkness below with nothing but his own confusion and a reminder of how easily change could happen, whether you were seeking it or not.