'Don't worry about it'

Who: Evelyn and Jesse
Where: James’ Apartment
When: Morning

Evelyn hadn’t been awake, but she wasn’t really asleep either. At some point she had been aware that her brother and niece were up, catching her name along with some words that stumbled into her consciousness from their otherwise quiet tones. But not enough to piece together what exactly was being said, and she had just been too exhausted to nudge herself into the realm of ‘awake’, if not so much ‘alert’, enough to catch the conversation.

At some point the sun’s rays brought her back to consciousness. And Evelyn supposed that, since she was waking up, she must have fallen asleep even if it didn’t feel like it. But ‘sleep’ wasn’t really what she was waking up from, more a state of ‘too exhausted to be properly conscious anymore’. She lay there for a moment, eyes open, just taking in the room that really wasn’t that bright -- it had just been light enough to wake her up. She then tried closing her eyes, but that wasn’t doing anything, so instead she sat up quietly, pushed the blanket off her, and made her way softly from the couch to the bathroom -- careful not to step on her brother along the way. When she had done, she washed her face with cold water -- figuring she might as well try to get more awake if she couldn’t go back to sleep. She still had a good couple hours before leaving for work, and forewent anything more involved than brushing with her hair. And then Evelyn was back to creeping across the living room, again trying not to step on her brother, and sat down upon the couch.

"Sleep okay?" Jesse asked, voice muzzy and half asleep himself, but awake. Or, awake enough to ask questions. He'd not gotten a lot of sleep, really, he'd mostly just laid there and drifted in and out after Jessie had gone to bed. His mind was a little too awake to properly drop off, but too tired to be awake either. He just didn't know that happened to be going around at the moment. He didn't quite move, laying on his stomach on the floor, ratty blanket under his head and chest to serve as a pillow.

Her first instinct was to just say ‘yeah’ or at least that she had slept alright. But she caught it. “Not really,” she admitted, a tired sort of smile in her voice, curling her legs up to her side. “But better than usual, lately.” The truth, again. She had sort of started to lose track whether it had only been this last week, or two, or three... but the ‘decent night sleep’ thing had definitely been out of the norm. If it wasn’t stress it seemed to be nightmares, and if not nightmares than weird dreams that always left her a bit disoriented when she woke up. And sometimes disturbed, like now. “You?”

"Not so much." Jesse said. "But I'm a bastard who never quits worrying about shit, it happens." he continued. "You slept better here? Why are you not sleeping well at your place?" he asked. For all he knew it could be because someone played their radio too loud, or she had roomies who had obnoxious sex lives. So, before he leaped to a conclusion, he figured he'd ask.

“You should stop worrying so much,” she retorted, aware it was completely unhelpful, one foot coming down to give Jesse’s ribs a playful nudge before curling back up on the couch. And then she was quiet, considering, for a moment before answering, “I guess stress, boiling it down for the most part.” And guilt, and anxiety, and worry, and a bunch of other emotions and feelings and concerns that were messy and overlapped and she couldn’t articulate properly -- or maybe she just didn’t want to right now. Not this early in the morning anyway ...or that might’ve just been her excuse. But, yeah, she figured it all sure as hell boiled down to stress of one kind or another. “Most of it’s my own doing, really... I mean, I don’t think I’m cut out to live a double life, for one,” she offered lightly. Although the joking aspect of it was subdued, because, honestly?, the last reaction she had right now to everything was laughter.

Jesse smirked faintly. "I don't think anyone is, sis." he told her. "I think people are meant to live their lives, and that's it. So, maybe what you really need to do is pick which one you want the most. Give up the other one." he suggested. "Though for the record, I hope that you'd pick this one. I know you want more than most of us have, but it seems to me your real troubles started when you went off on your own. And you do better with your family even if sometimes it's harder."

A smile flickered there for a moment, although it gave way again as her expression delved back into pensive. “It’s not...” she took a moment, to think on what she wanted to say and how she would phrase it, preferring to do that instead of audibly bumbling through half-formed thoughts. “I’m not sure what I want, exactly,” she confessed. And she realized last night that the issue was an important one to her. She didn’t know if it was really necessary to share, but that thought that been the first to jump to mind when Jesse mentioned what she wanted and, for that reason alone, Evelyn had forced herself to share it. She didn’t like sharing it -- not at all -- but she was trying. And, this time, it wasn’t just due to guilt pushing to make up for things.

“It’s not about money, or prestige...” And there her words did drift a bit, and she sighed, needing another second to reform her thoughts. “I know I don’t want to just do the same task, day-after-day, and end up feeling... bored, I guess. And I know, before everything went... the way it did, I liked supporting myself. I liked knowing that I could, that the paycheck I earned could take care of... rent and food I guess.” A part of her was aware it was a silly detail to get hung up on, with everything else, but it was the way she felt regardless. It just wasn’t all she felt. “But I don’t want isolation, or lying to people I care about, or just... cutting myself off.”

“Why did you really do it in the first place?” Jesse asked. “Since I guess...I don’t really see why you thought you had to.” Though he knew part of it was probably just all that manipulation she’d dealt with. Which again reminded him that he owed that man a visit. A visit that was going to make him take an extended vacation to hospital land.

Evelyn sucked in a breath and then exhaled, running a hand through her hair. "I don't know," she sighed, gaze ticking to the window as she went over it. At some point, there had been lies just to protect other lies. But trying to pinpoint why any of it started in the first place, when she had never been prone to anything like it before, just wasn't forming anything cut and dry. Was it pride? Shame? Guilt? Laziness? She hadn't set about intending any of it, not that she could recall -- or had she intended it, and just conveniently forgot that fact? She didn't know. Normally, she'd say no... but more often lately Evelyn felt she didn't know herself anymore. "Initially..." her eyes squinted lightly, gaze still past the window, mind trying to put things together enough to voice it. "...there wasn't anything to tell." Or, she hadn't thought there was anyway. Was it gradual? Sudden? Either way she couldn't pinpoint exactly when she started noticing things. And then, for one reason or another, she let herself brush them off. Which had been stupid, and a part of her had known it back then too. And she still did it anyway.

"And then when I found a new job... I just... blurted out a name. I had been at a newstand looking at an aviation magazine just earlier, and 'Amelia' just came out. I didn't think about it beforehand, or even when walking up to ask about the job, it just... came out." She frowned a little, because she wasn't proud of that -- not that she was proud of anything she was saying -- but her whole 'spontaneously blurting stupid shit' went so against her usual self-awareness that it disturbed her. She'd feel more comfortable, not by much but still more, just saying she planned it beforehand, even if only by a second. She then realized she had been staring off for a bit, and brought her gaze back to her brother. "And then at some point it went from putting off mentioning things, to lying, and just... other shit." Like Becky. And Evelyn had no idea what to do there, other than feeling how fabulously fucking poorly she had failed there. Both hands ran through her hair, remaining tangled there for a second, her gaze ticking away again as she pulled her fingers free.

Jesse watched her, sitting up and he stretched a bit, assessing everything she said. One thing stood out brighter than the others, even if his opinion on his sister and whether or not she had a good head on her shoulders was changing a whole lot. "Other shit like what?" he asked, tone light. If there were more things she wasn't mentioning, now would be the time for her to mention. He really hoped there wasn't more of a huge mess he didn't even know yet. Though lately with everything else it just seemed like that happened more and more.

"Becky," she replied, heart sinking into her stomach at the mention of it. But she managed to bring the gaze back to Jesse, and keep it there. Even though that felt uncomfortable as hell -- all of this did. "She still works there." The affair with her friend had blindsided her -- it shouldn't have, with as observant as she generally was, but it had anyway. And Becky really hadn't wanted anyone to know, and Evelyn had kept that secret. And not betraying others' confidences, and letting others make their own decisions, had always been a big thing with her. But here... she didn't know if she was keeping the secret as a promise to her friend, or because she hadn't wanted to face up to things -- face up to that boss. Because Evelyn had confronted him on things, before. Things had been pretty clear going into it. And she had somehow left feeling both more certain that shit there was fucked up and that he was a manipulative bastard, and yet felt more confused about leaving than she had been before the confrontation.

Frowning, Jesse watched her. "Becky like little Becky?" he asked. "Hung around the house all the time, practically lived with us?" he continued, not thinking it was anyone else. "And she still works there. As in she's in the same shit as you were? Did you tell her what happened to you? How did that even happen?" he asked, upset. It was that protective thing, regardless of the fact that Becky was a grown woman like his sister, he'd probably always view her like a little girl, like he'd known when she was growing up. Fair? No. But that was just how Jesse worked.

Normally, Evelyn would've pointed out that Becky wasn't 'little Becky' anymore. But this wasn't the time nor place, and that thought didn't cross her mind anyway. Well, not in the light admonishing sense. Because the awareness that Becky was not a little a girl, but very much a woman, passed through -- it was there, in a fully dark cynical streak. Not at her friend, but just at the situation in general. "She knew," Evelyn answered, tone quiet, fingers tensing briefly around the armrest. Becky had been there, she had known -- she had been the only one who had known. "And I don't know." She should have known. She really, truly, should have fucking known. She had been there, and should have been at least observant enough to catch that with her friend. But she had been so preoccupied with what was going on with herself, with getting herself out, with just her own fucking issues there that she had let that shit pass by her completely until it had been too little, too fucking late.

A few things passed through Jesse's mind. One of which was just that it seemed a bit off, that Becky knew what was up and she'd still kept everything from her family. That was distant, however, since he had other things there to think about. "What's happening with her?" he asked. Just because things had happened with Evie didn't mean they did with Becky--but he had to find out what the situation was. And he might see if he could track down Becky to see if he couldn't get her to consider different employment options.

Evelyn watched him for a moment, jaw tensing just before she answered, "She got a promotion, not too long ago." And, even if Jesse couldn't piece that one together, her tone made what she meant there clear. Although the emotion behind it was unreadable. When she found out she hadn't handled it well, hadn't taken to dealing with the situation in a way she might have had she stepped in from outside of it. Asking Becky 'why' hadn't helped, the exact details of when and how were largely lost to her, and she hadn't mentally kept it together enough to work at things the right way to get Becky to leave once it become apparent that her friend planned to stay. And then next time, things were so awkward; an obvious case of Elephant In The Room, with Evelyn knowing Becky's secret and Becky knowing hers and their Major Issues hitting walls or getting circumvented if touched upon.

Jesse didn't look happy. Because yes, she didn't need to spell that shit out for him. "And where is she now?" he asked, very lightly. If he did have to kick the fucking door down at the guy's business, he very much would, but he'd like to try and talk to Becky first. But then again, if he couldn't find her, he'd just have to talk to her later. Still, he didn't like the sound of things, and he didn't take to ignoring things like that well. Evie was out, and he still planned on breaking a few ribs due to even doing anything to his sister, mental and emotional damage counted in Jesse James' book. But he had stake in Becky too, had always looked after her before. So...yeah. He was thinking the sooner the better for dealing with that.

This was the right thing, right? Telling him this? She honestly didn't know anymore. At some point she had lost track of whether she was holding loyal to a promise or if the promised silence itself was a betrayal. It wasn't as if it was helping things, or making anything better. It wasn't protecting Becky, and sometimes Evelyn had to wonder if she kept at it to protect herself. Everything about the situation just got... messy, in her head. And she couldn't distance herself from it, to get a better perspective, to work at solving it instead of just drowning in it. But, whether this was right or not, the information was out. And Evelyn tried not to think to much on what Becky's reaction might be, knowing she had exposed her. She tried, anyway, but there was a sinking in her stomach at that thought just before she answered. "Uptown. Apartment building -- mostly luxury studios, I think. With a desk clerk and doorman," she added, frowning a little. Her mind was a mess on this subject, but she could guess at some of what Jesse was thinking. And, the fact was, Jesse would probably stand out walking in -- she doubted he'd make it to the elevator before somebody stopped him.

Nodding, Jesse was figuring the same thing. That he wouldn't get anywhere in a place like that. So, confrontation at the office it was. He'd just have to try and get in touch with Becky after the fact. "Alright." he said, nodding to himself. "You sticking around here?" he asked, his own decisions on the subject made already, so he didn't need to keep discussing them. Nope, he had his course set.

Unfortunately, as uncomfortable and messy as the situation was for her in general?, Evelyn wasn't at ease with it being dropped so quickly. She watched Jesse carefully, knowing him well enough to gauge his general idea. She didn't know his exact plan, but she could guess something incredibly reckless was a definite possibility. "Jess, I want Becky out," because that was important. She wasn't sure how, with Becky just not walking away; but just because she didn't know how the hell it came about didn't mean she was clueless -- Becky sure as hell wasn't sleeping with the guy because they developed some 'connection'. "I really do. But don't go getting yourself arrested. He isn't just some other asshole on the street, he's a lawyer. And a good one. It doesn't make any of the shit he does okay, but it does mean he's got connections -- judges, police, politicians... Just, if you're not careful, you could end up spending a lot more than a night in jail."

Which, she was aware, probably wouldn't deter him much. But she still needed to say it, to try to get him to think things through a bit more before barging into wherever and doing who knows what. Honestly? Evelyn would settle for getting Becky out and leaving that bastard be if it meant not losing her brother. Maybe it was selfish, and a bit heartless, considering she knew the guy would keep doing what he did. But, when it came down to it, it was what she felt. She could live with just about anything as long as her family and friends were safe and here. "And just... you're not going to be able to help anyone much -- Becky, Baby J, or any of us -- if you end up locked away."

"Yeah, I know." Jesse said, though her assessment was correct. It didn't deter him much. There were certain things Jesse was incapable of ignoring, and the situation his sister had just told him about was one of them. So he couldn't even fathom trying to walk away. That just...wasn't something he was capable of in even a slight sense. "Don't worry about it." he said, getting up and stretching. "You sticking around?" he asked again.

"You know, you have a habit of whenever you say that I should be worried," she pointed out. 'Don't worry about it.' Yeah, right. Completely had the opposite effect. Because, it was true, Jesse's 'Don't worry about it' usually went hand-in-hand with the serious or particularly stupid shit. Like 'my eye's swollen shut, don't worry about it', or 'there's a bullet hole in my leg, don't worry about', or 'surprise! huge fucking bank account, don't worry about it'. To be fair, it wasn't always that those exact words came out of his mouth, but the general point was the same. But, in the end, her remark was a rhetorical one: she knew she could go in circles with trying to talk Jesse out of something dangerous and reckless and again, in the end, it wouldn't deter him any. So she dropped the subject, and answered his question, "For a bit, yeah. I have a shift that starts in a couple of hours." Which, she knew, he wouldn't be happy to hear. But she did go ahead and add, "It's my last day, though."

"Good." he said, very glad to hear that. "I'm going to hit the shower, then you can take your turn and all that. Maybe I'll attempt to make some breakfast." Before he went on with the rest of his day, which would involve finding out where her boss worked, and what the layout of the building looked like. Casing a place he was good at. And it always helped to be prepared.

When the bathroom door shut, Evelyn let out a frustrated sigh and fell back against the couch. Her head had felt clearer last night, really it had, after talking to Jessie and just reflecting on things in general afterward. There had been epiphanies, and some perspective gained. But, even though she remembered it still, it all felt more distant now. That perspective just seemed on the far side of unresolved issues and guilt and tiredness and a battered mental state that apparently ran deeper than she realized. But, at least, she knew what the next steps were -- beyond that was a fucked up entangled mess of who-knows-what. But her next steps? She knew those. She could do those. Shower, eat, get ready and leave for work. Then she would talk to Ian, let him know she was quitting, and break things off. It wasn't going to be easy, it wasn't going to be pleasant, and she was already feeling pretty shitty as hell about a lot of it. But it needed to be done -- regardless of whether Dutch was right or not -- and she could do that, at least.