Estrogen Solidarity

Who: Maddy and Pepper
When: Morning
Where: The Soup Kitchen

The truth was, Pepper was looking for Dodge. She'd been looking for him on and off for a couple of days now. Of course, looking for someone really wasn't that effective if you, say, actually went to the places that you knew they would be. Pepper had been trying to avoid doing that, because then she'd be looking for him, rather than, say, being told where he was by a third party who she could give as a reason she found him. Or, say, accidentally bumping into him (which was, in fact, her preferred option). She really didn't want to admit that she knew the places he hung out and lived. Even though she did. She had her standards. Even if he'd said he'd help her and she really needed help right now.

She still hadn't found a new place to live, or made any progress to getting back her old spot, and it was showing. Her general appearance - never great at the best of times, had suffered, and the fact that she hadn't slept properly in days was showing. Last night's rain storm hadn't helped - she'd got soaked before she'd managed to find shelter. That was why she'd come to the soup kitchen today, to get some warm food inside her. She was, as always, terrified of getting sick, and especially at the moment when she had nowhere fixed that she could go if she did. So, she headed towards to building, thoughts full of getting warm, but with an eye out for either Dodge, or someone who could tell her where he was so she didn't have to say she knew.

Maddy's thoughts were on Dodge as well, although she wasn't entirely positive she wanted to find him. Half of her did (because showing up at your place to find that your bed had been fucking stolen usually meant you needed to hunt the thief down) and the other half just wanted to forget about it, the ultimatum issued still making her stomach hurt. And on top of that, things with Roy had gone downhill and Maddy wasn't sure what to do.

So there she was, standing on top of a fire hydrant outside of the soup kitchen, pondering whether or not she should go in to get something to eat (because she hadn't eaten since... well, yesterday morning) when she spied a familiar figure. Pepper looked about as bad as she felt. "Hey, Pepper," she greeted. Maddy grinned but there was no feeling behind it. The little girl looked tired, pale with all the little freckles on her face standing out, hair limp and tangled around her shoulders from a bad night's sleep, although at least she had remained dry, which was more than what Maddy was sure she could say for Pepper.

"Hey DG - how're you?" she asked, thinking the other girl looked almost as bad as she probably did right now. Pepper's black eye was fading, but slowly - something that wasn't helped by the fact that she'd taken to pinching the bruised skin to try and make it last longer after Dodge's comments the other day. She refused to be considered anything approaching 'pretty'. By anyone.

Maddy shrugged and hopped down from the hydrant, stumbling a little bit, which was quite unlike her. "Alright," she said, righting herself quickly as if nothing had happened at all. "What happened?" The eye looked pretty bad and while yeah, Pepper lived a lot rougher existence than the rest of them, black eyes were still worth saying something about. "You okay?" She looked concerned and nodded her head to the kitchen beside them. "And I was thinking of grabbing something to eat if you're interested."

"Eh, some guy decided that he was bigger than I am. I gave as good as I got though," Pepper said in a show of bravado. She'd still lost, after all. But she wasn't going to let people say she'd go down without a fight. Because she wouldn't - people had to know what they were getting into, if they wanted to pick on her, and it'd hurt. Still, she hadn't gone back for seconds from the guy. "And food would be great - definitely needed," she added with a grin. Hot food was equal to not getting sick in her head right now.

"That's the way you gotta do it," Maddy praised, although it was clear her heart wasn't entirely in it. Still, it was genuine. She nodded her head to the door, opening it up and indicating for Pepper to go in first. "Other than that, stuff... okay?"

Pepper seriously considered the question before answering, and came to the conclusion that Maddy was another girl. She'd done her show of bravado, but the rules were different than they were with guys, and she deflated slightly. "Things have been better," she admitted, casting round to make sure that nobody else heard them.

Tell me about it, Maddy thought, bumping her shoulder gently against Pepper's as they walked to the small line. They stood behind a mother and her young sons and Maddy's heart kind ached at that, thinking that the little boys looked kind of like Dodge and Roy, which was pretty impossible and that was probably because of... stuff. "Yeah, I think it's goin' round like the flu." She grabbed two trays and handed one to Pepper.

"Which has been going round as well," Pepper said with a grimace. "I was staying away from that - Roy had it and he was real bad. I didn't want to catch it. I feel bad and all, cos I was like the other side of the room, but if he got it and gave it to me and then I'd give it to other people and... Well, yeah, you know how those things go," she said, rambling slightly. Illness could spread like wildfire through the homeless community, and it could get serious quickly. "But Arden gave Roy some medicine which helped, I think."

"Yeah, I got sick too for a couple days." Maddy grabbed a bowl of oatmeal that one of the ladies handed her, putting it on her tray and grabbed a spoon. "Roy is real good at lecturing people about proper health care when he should probably take the advice himself sometimes," she said. "He was a lot better the last I saw him." She was pretty sure he was. Stuff was bad the last they talk. After a moment's hesitation, she grabbed the apple that was given to her, looking at the slightly bruised red skin of it curiously before setting it on her tray.

Pepper couldn't help but look Maddy up and down again with the news that she'd been sick. But she didn't look sick now, which was good - very good. "But - you're better now, right?" she checked, unable to help that.

"Hmmm? Oh, yeah. Better." Maddy shrugged. "It was more fever than bite or anything. Brain is still intact." Somewhat anyway. She still looked pale though, her cheekbones a little more prominent.

Pepper relaxed at that, getting her own food and heading them over to sit down, away from people. Or as much away from people in the always-crowded soup kitchen as they could get. free food in a city with a large homeless population would always be popular. "So, erm - you seen anyone else around lately?" she asked, trying for nonchalance.

Maddy set her tray down across from Pepper, eyeing the older (well, Pepper always seemed older than she was. Then again, everyone did) a little warily. "Why?" she asked slowly, some of that old Maddy suspicion coming to the forefront. Had Dodge told her to keep an eye out on her?

Pepper caught the look and jumped straight on it. "Oh! No - no, not like anything bad or anything. Just... Kinda seeing if you'd seen anyone or anything," she assured the other girl, feeling like she might have to admit that she was kinda looking for Dodge. She really didn't want to have to, but obviously there was another thing going on and she didn't know what right now.

"He's probably off gloating about pulling one over on me," she said bitterly, taking a rather vicious bite out of her apple. Wow. This was a really good apple. "You might want to try his place. He's been sticking close lately." Stupid boy.

Pepper wrinkled her nose at that as she took a mouthful of food. "Yeah, I guess so," she said, not sounding overly enthusiastic about the prospect. She rolled her eyes a little and gave a small shrug. "I was kinda hoping, well - that maybe he'd be elsewhere. I kinda... He said he'd help me out with something, if I needed it. And I kinda need it, but - you know how he gets and I really don't want to have to go all cap in hand to his place. I'd rather, kinda, y'know, bump into him somewhere or something," she admitted. Maddy would understand how things were, she was a girl. Girls got it more than boys did.

Maddy nodded. Yeah, she got it. "I take it it has something to do with that shiner?" Because out of them all (what Maddy considered their kind of 'group'), Pepper was the one who was the most... outdoors-y. She figured maybe it was something like a place to stay. Or something. "I'll keep my eye out for him but we're not really talking right now..." she frowned a little, chewing on her apple. "I got a job he doesn't like. He said he was leaving me because of it." She took another bite. It was a really fucking good apple. Why hadn't she had apples before. "But I could let one of his boys know. Unless they're not talking to me either."

"What're you doing?" Pepper asked her, interested at that. "And what's what you do got to do with him anyhow? It's none of his business what you do with your life and you have a right to work. Tell him where to stick and and if he doesn't like it then..." What Maddy had actually said hit home and cut through her burgeoning rant. "Oh, right. Yeah. You're not talking," she said, somewhat sheepishly.

"I got a job on Baurer Road," she said flatly. Pepper knew the place she was talking about, like everyone else. Maddy frowned at her soup that was slowly cooling on her tray. "Roy's furious with me for it and Dodge said he's leaving me but I'm pretty sure Dodge is just jealous and I told him that and that's when he said he was leaving me." And there was absolutely so much wrong in that statement.

First was the fact that she just came right out and said that she was going to be a whore, while with Roy she had beaten around the bush, extracting promises before her confession. Then there was the fact that Doll Girl would actually go to that little brothel that people pretended didn't exist, for one, was the most glaring because she wouldn't do that.

Maddy knew that because when she looked back up at Pepper, it was to say, "I think that means there's something wrong with me, doesn't it?" Because it was Pepper and Pepper might be the most un-girliest girl Maddy knew, but she was a girl and she had girl emotions and hormones and maybe Pepper might know what was wrong with her. Maybe it was some girl mystery, the reason she was feeling strange and pissed off and doing stuff that she wouldn't be doing.

Pepper's face had fallen at the first mention of the road. She knew Baurer Road - or, at least, knew of it. She'd never gone there, gave the place a wide berth. It was the place of her nightmares, the place she wanted to avoid more than any other. The underlying reason why she wouldn't let Dodge or Roy call her pretty, why she shaved her hair off, why she often pretended to be a girl. And why she never, ever wanted to be beholden to anyone for anything. She didn't want to end up lying on her back for a living. She'd rather live rough and starve first. "Why would you do that?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. "Why - it... I... You don't have to. You never actually have to - if you need things, I can help you out," she said, though right now she couldn't even look after her own patch, never mind really be able to help out someone else.

"I'm going to buy a house. I told Roy he could move in with me. It... seemed like a good idea at the time," she murmured. "But... yeah, I... I don't really know why." She stirred her soup thoughtfully. "I was walking and then I was there."

"Well - then don't do it! You - What do you want a house for anyway? Houses are stupid and pointless and we do okay and, and, and! Walk somewhere else!" Pepper exclaimed, loudly enough that heads turned to look at them, but she didn't even notice. She was frantic about the very idea that someone she knew would make that choice. She didn't want that for Maddy, the girl deserved better than that, everyone deserved better than that. And the itching feeling that this was the other girl's honest choice ate at the back of her mind. That maybe this wasn't something that Maddy had been bribed or blackmailed to forced into, but that this was an honest-to-goodness life choice for her. Pepper tried to ignore that thought, but she couldn't. "Did someone - is someone making you do this?" she asked, even though it didn't entirely fit with what had gone before.

"It feels like it! Like someone is pulling my strings. Like I'm not in control of myself anymore." Maddy put her spoon down, running her hands through her hair, gloved fingers getting caught in the tangles she hadn't brushed out. "I don't want to be a whore, Pepper. I want a house with doors that I can lock so I don't get barged in by stupid people. A swing in the backyard. A real bathroom with a claw footed bathtub and a shower. I don't want to live in the attic for the rest of my life and you? Do you want to live outside under the bridge forever and ever? I don't think you do. So I want a house. You can come live with us too. Roy's going to live with me. And Marian too, maybe. If she wants." She swallowed, her big blue eyes bright and she looked at Pepper. "Is it really that easy? To fix a mistake like that? To not go?" Because Roy was Roy and yeah, he didn't treat her like a toy, but he still wanted to decide what job was acceptable to her (nevermind that being a whore really wasn't) and Dodge was... Dodge. Pepper was like a neutral third party.

"I'd rather die under the bridge than live on my back - and I'm not... If you get yourself a house, then I won't live there. Don't think you're doing this for me. or anyone else. And if you are? And they let you? Then they aren't worth it. If Roy wants to live with you and he's gonna let you do this so he can? Then he's a bigger... Then I really don't like him," Pepper said, hunting around for the right name to call him and not finding one that fitted to her satisfaction. "And yes, if you don't want to do this, then just stop. Don't do it." She paused, then went back to the beginning. "Who's pulling your strings?" she asked, slightly more calmly, and with an air of determination. Maybe someone really was, and if they were, then maybe all this led to Maddy being in trouble, and if she was in trouble, then maybe she could be helped out of trouble. Then she wouldn't be in trouble any more and she could stop doing this and things would be fine.

Maddy shook her head quickly. "No. No, Roy is so not on board with this but at least he isn't saying he's leaving me. He just thinks I'm being stupid and he was acting all moody and angry Roy when I told him too. So Roy is cool. Awesome even. He is still of the total good. Dodge can go rot. Jerk. He is not allowed to walk away from me." It was like the fire that had gone out in Maddy had been rekindled. This was the DG that Pepper and everyone else knew. "No one is, that's the problem. At least I don't think so! Ever since I got sick I've been feeling weird and crying and I fucking hate crying. But dammit, I'm getting this house for Roy so he has a place to stay so I can take care of him because you know, he doesn't take very good care of himself. He got himself sick and then yelled at me about getting sick and I need to do something about it." She nodded. "But I don't want to be a whore and I don't want to tell him that and I don't even know why I went there in the first place and Pepper, I think I'm broken and it is Not. Cool." Maddy said this all very fast. Still slow enough that Pepper would be able to understand everything, but fast enough that it showed that Maddy was in the process of talking herself out of going back to the brothel by having Pepper tell her that she shouldn't go.

"Dodge is a jerk," Pepper agreed with a nod, ignoring the fact that she was looking for him to help her out - that was entirely irrelevant right now, because she said so. "And I wish he'd walk away from me because last time I saw him he called me one of his girls and I am not anyone's anything, no matter what he thinks about anything he thinks about at all and you know what he's like and he might say that he's walked away from you, but he won't - because this is Dodge and he's an interfering jerk who can't ever leave anyone alone ever. It's like it'd be totally against who he is entirely. And so you've been sick and it's... I blame the sickness. It probably did things to your head and made you think that bad ideas were good ideas and things but now you're better and you know that bad ideas are, in fact, bad ideas so you don't need to do them now and that'l be the end of that," she said, firmly, sounding like she considered that to be the end of the story. "And Roy can look after himself - he's gotten himself a job and everything. Arden and i went and saw him there. At the garage. It's run by this guy, Dutch - he said that I could go work there too if I wanted, but I dunno. I dunno if I really want to work where Roy's working, or at a garage or anything - but, hey, maybe you could work there instead of me. Then maybe you could get your money for a house!" Pepper suggested, seeing this as a much better scenario, especially since she didn't have the first clue how much jobs paid or houses cost. And sidestepping the real reason that she hadn't taken up Dutch's job offer. That, at the end of the day, Pepper just wasn't reliable enough to hold down regular work. The idea of being somewhere at a given time every day just didn't compute for her.

"He's not a jerk all the time though, which makes it fucking annoying," she defended slightly. "But oh, urg, arg." She made various frustrated sounds coupled with hand movements to try illustrate her point. "You know, I bet it was me being sick. I had a super high fever. I totally almost died." She nodded and finally took a mouthful of soup, cool enough now that she could dig in with gusto. "He doesn't listen to me. Is it really so hard to acknowledge that I'm superior to him?" She sighed and shook her head. "I dunno. Roy needs me. And I need to take care of him in the areas that he doesn't know how. Like punching walls and walking in the rain."

As for working at the garage. "Maybe... you know, I was thinking of asking the guys at the Kitten Club. I'm there two days a week drawing the acts. Maybe I can help out or something. Since I'm there and stuff. I'm not gonna sing or dress up or anything."

Now that her world felt a little more back on balance again, and not like it was spiralling out of control into some huge nightmare where everything went wrong and people ended up all in the wrong places and everything, Pepper started back in on her own soup again as well. "Dodge always thinks he's the best at everything, and he's so wrong," Pepper agreed, knowing that was just the way of the world. "And Roy - you have to punch walls for him? I would have thought he'd have that one down," she said, wondering at the way Maddy had put that, but smiling to herself at the amusing mental picture of Maddy throwing punches for the guy. "But, then again, he always was a bit of a baby..." she added, the smile widening to a grin. She considered Maddy's suggested alternative. "I guess that the Kitten Club would be better, but - don't be a dancer, definitely. I mean, y'know - you never know, right?" Men got ideas when women got all pretty. First step towards not getting into that position, as far as Pepper was concerned, was just not to get pretty.

Dodge... "I'll just keep him from punching walls in the first place," Maddy said. "And yeah. No dancing for me. But you know, the best way to deal with guys is to look as good as you can then turn 'em down. 'Nope, you can't have this, sorry, hands off' sort of thing." Maybe she should try that with Dodge. She kind of liked that idea. "It's kind of empowering. Especially when they try something and you kick their ass. I could totally do that at the Club. There's a couple of the girls there that, you know, do stuff. But there's also a couple that would totally deck a guy if he tried anything." She grinned. "It's cool. Not for everyone, but it's cool." Yeah, maybe she would talk to them.

Pepper frowned, her spoon half way to her mouth. "Really?" she asked, sounding very much like this was an approach that she'd never even considered. Which would be because she hadn't considered it - her way had always been to keep well under anyone's radar, and if they noticed her, then she pushed them away and immediately set about getting rid of whatever it was they'd noticed about her.

"Well, yeah. Look at me for example. I'm an amazingly beautiful and wonderful shining light in this city. Sadly, that means that there are perves and other jerks are attracted to me. Moth to a flame, you know." She popped a piece of carrot in her mouth from her soup. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to go out of my way to make myself not look good." She was feeling normal again (for the most part). It was like Pepper had fixed a piece of the puzzle that didn't quite fit with one that worked better. "It doesn't work for everyone though. Still, you shouldn't let what other's opinions dictate what you do. It's like they own you. Sorta." She had thought about sticking low. Going out of her way to keep her head down. But that didn't work. She couldn't do it.

That hit Pepper hard. "I - nobody owns me!" she exclaimed, jumping on that one immediately. She knew that she'd been doing just that - letting other people's opinions dictate what she did. Though maybe not in the same way, but still. "Not at all - I'll do whatever I want!" she said, letting her spoon drop into her soup and looking bullish, her mouth screwing up into a tight bud as she scowled.

"I didn't say that," she said calmly, knowing that was probably the reaction she'd get out of Pepper. "It's just my point of view. You should always do what you want. Live fast, die never, Pepper." Maddy grinned broadly. "Only way to do it."

Pepper didn't answer that, still wondering whether she'd been going about everything the wrong way in the first place. And then wondering whether her thinking that now was just her doing that again - reacting to other people's say so. So if she went with what she normally did, would that mean changing, or not changing, or - her head started going round in circles until she had no idea what to think about any of it and just bent to industriously eat her soup to cover her confusion.

"You should always do what feels right though. If you don't, things get weird." Like the brothel issue that Maddy felt was now fairly resolved and she could pack it away in the overflowing storage closet at the back of her mind. And now she was back to her vaguely hypocritical, thoroughly know-it-all self. It was rather nice. "So why are you looking for Dodgy Dodgerson?" she asked nosily. "And are those your only plans for today?"

Pepper wondered how that advice sat with their last conversation, but figured that it was just her head getting muddled. She was just gonna... leave everything and figure it all out later. It was because she didn't have a place to go, she decided. Everything felt up in the air and even with this little bit sorted, it was still messy. Which had, of course, been why she'd been looking for Dodge in the first place. "He kinda said he'd help me out with some things if I wanted him to. And I kinda want him to, but I don't necessarily want him to know that I want him to, if you know what I mean. You know how he gets..."

Maddy nodded in understanding. It's where you had to be careful with Dodge and it was a difficult game that Maddy herself had a hard time with. "Well, after this I'm gonna head over to the club. That goes past Dodge's place. You can come with. We can see if he's around or get a read on where he is and you can decide your course of action from there."

That sounded like a good plan, to Pepper. She could be walking with Maddy and if she just happened to be passing where Dodge was, then she could maybe look in and it would just be... one of those things. Rather than her purposefully heading over to his part of town just to see him. "Sure, I can do that. Thanks," she said, appreciating the understanding and the excuse.

"No problem." Maddy was happy to help and she fell quiet, nursing her soup thoughtfully. "Do you know if Roy's working today? I need to... go apologize to him." It was so much easier to apologize to Roy, to admit she was wrong and stupid. Things were easier with him on that front so Maddy had no problem with admitting that she would be apologizing to him.

Pepper finished off her soup, feeling better for it. "I don't know, but probably?" she guessed. "I don't know how often he's there or anything, but I'd be willing to bet. It seemed pretty important to him," she offered. She figured that if you had a job, you were meant to be there every day. Sounded all a bit much to her. She would have offered to check in with Maddy on him, but if she did that, then she wouldn't be able to peel off to 'happen across' Dodge - couldn't work both ways, and she really did want to meet up with Dodge, as much as her pride wished it could be otherwise.

"Sounds good." Maddy took another bite out of her apple, having finished her soup as well. "Thanks, for, you know." Listening. Girl talk. Maddy gave her an appreciative smile. "We gotta stick together, don't we? I'm sorry I haven't been around." Because Maddy liked Pepper and they got along fine, but never really spent a lot of quality time together.

Pepper quirked a smile. "Truth be told, not been around much myself, past few days, so no harm no foul and all," she offered. She'd been mostly hanging around feeling sorry for herself and trying to come up with a way to get her patch back without having to resort to other people. Not that that had been in any way successful, but that had been the aim.

Maddy smiled back, standing up and taking a final bite out of her apple before lobbing it over to the trashcan. "Well, we best get going then. Get you to Dodge's and I gotta go get myself a more respectable job." For as respectable as you could get at the Kitten Club.