Faith

Who: Kess and Janey
Where: Outside the cathedral
When: Morning

Kess had never been particularly religious, growing up. Her parents had dragged her and her brothers to mass every Sunday, but she hadn't given much thought to faith - it was more habit than anything else. That was what had kept her going once Arden came along. Her faith had been more of a belief that her daughter should have some religion in her life than any actualy belief in the big white beard in the sky. It had been even harder to maintain that faith when she attended with bruises under her clothes, or once Eugene had stopped her from seeing Arden. It was hard to maintain a belief in such a cruel god.

And yet she still went, every Sunday. She might not have faith, not really, but there was somthing calming and relaxing about that hour spent in the beauty of the cathedral, in the way that voices carried around the inside of the building. Even standing on the steps outside, as people spilled from the service back out onto the streets after the service, filled her with a sense of belonging. A sense that there was more to her life - which, after the place she'd worked had been closed down on Friday and she was now very definitely out of a job, was something she really needed.

Janey squinted when she stepped out of the church and into the daylight. It always took her by surprise, not only the change in atmosphere but how much life seemed to surround the church. In church she felt enclosed within her own little bubble of—not quite peace, but rhythm and certainty. The words of the prayers she’d known for years would always be the same; something she could turn to for constancy. But outside the cathedral, nothing was certain. She shrugged off the doubts that were already beginning to creep back into her head—for another half an hour, at least, she should be able to keep them away--until she got home, where Danny was, sleeping off the effects of last night's ball.In the midst of the chattering crowd, Janey spotted Kess, standing alone on the steps. “Good morning,” Janey said with a small wave as she approached.

Kess looked round as someone spoke, not sure if it was her who was being addressed, or someone else. She smiled as she saw Janey there, though it was a tentative thing. She knew Janey, of course - you spent enough time around the church and you got to know people by sight, if not much more than 'oh that's so and so'. Not enough to call her a friend. "Hi," she said, as she clued into the fact that it was, in fact, her that Janey was greeting. "How're you today?" she asked, politely - she always found herself on her best behaviour on a Sunday. maybe it was something about the nicer clothes she always work to church. or maybe it was because she knew that Arden and Eugene would be around here somewhere. She wouldn't look - she refused to look. Not right now.

“Tired,” Janey admitted. “Had to be at the ball last night—you know, with Danny. I’m not used to being on my feet and actually having to act social.” She gave a nervous laugh. She and Kess were no more than acquaintances, but Janey had been pushing herself lately to be friendlier. She needed more people in her life—maybe it would help her shake the cloud of gloom that seemed to follow her around. Kess had seemed fairly approachable in the past, as long as you didn’t cross her, which Janey didn’t plan to do. “How about yourself?”

"Ball? Oh, right, for the co...Officers who caught the serial killer, right?" Kess said, checking herself and her slang, not knowing how the other woman would feel about that. "Did you ahve a good time? What was it like? What's the Drake like inside - is it as fancy as it seems from the outside?" she asked, skipping the question posed at her by rattling back her own.

"Oh, the Drake, it's...incredible. Almost overwhelming. I don't feel quite right in a place that fancy," Janey said. She answered the easiest questions, about the building, the atmosphere. She could only imagine how self-centered it would sound for her to admit, truthfully, that she hadn't enjoyed herself and had instead spent the evening mingling uncomfortable on her own or worrying about Danny when he was by her side. She was already starting to think she shouldn't have mentioned the ball--hopefully Kess didn't think she was bragging about the "status" she held in society because of Danny. While she was proud of him, she often wished she could just lurk in the background, unseen, instead of being toted around with him as his perfect little wife.

"It sounds fabulous," Kess told her, honestly pleased for the other woman, who seemed to be getting a taste of the good stuff in life. It was nice that someone at least was. And someone who deserved it, who wasn't mob connected, or corrupted by the city. She thought about her own situation, and about how hopeless that probably was, even with Jackson's suggestion that she go work for the police force as a filing clerk. He'd been so very drunk when he'd said that, she didn't actually expect him to at all remember, or to have meant it. She didn't know what she was going to do for money, but she'd find something - she'd have to. "You're so lucky."

Janey wasn't sure how to take that comment. Lucky--because she had her husband, and the privileges that came with that? Of having someone to make the money and take care of her? She wasn't sure if that was what Kess meant. The woman seemed fairly independent and able to take care of herself. Janey knew some of Kess' family situation--that she was divorced, and couldn't see her daughter. She assumed Kess worked to keep herself taken care of, but she wasn't sure where, or what she did. Obviously to someone in a situation like that, Janey was lucky, and she needed a reminder like that every now and then. Still, she didn't know how to respond. "Oh, well...trust me. By missing social functions like that, you're really not missing much," Janey said.

Kess raised an eyebrow and looked at her. "Really? So - is it true that it's mostly boring people having boring conversations while being all dressed up?" she asked. Really, she'd figured that that was just a myth. She liked the idea of the glitz and the glamour. Maybe that was because it sounded better than her current life.

Janey chuckled. "The conversations aren't exactly...boring, but I wouldn't say they're enjoyable either. Of course there were a few gems, but mostly it's all gossip and insults barely concealed as jokes." Janey glanced up at the sky, which had been threatening rain all morning, but it didn't seem any closer to spilling over than it had ten minutes ago. "Anyways, how have you been?" she added, wanting to turn the conversation away from herself and her experiences.

Kess considered asking whether the jokes were about anyone they knew, but bit her tongue before the question could be launched into the vocal world. "oh, you know - getting by," she said, lightly. "Things haven't been great lately, but I'm sure they'll improve," she said with an optimism she didn't entirely feel. Somehow 'I'm lost my job at the whorehouse I worked in', well, she couldn't see that going down so well on the steps of a house of god and all.

Kess seemed fairly positive as she spoke, but Janey wasn't certain she fully believed it. "Well, if there's anything I can do to help, just let me know. I'm almost always around the church--as you know," she replied. Janey only knew the ache of having lost her children before they'd ever come into the world--she couldn't imagine how it must feel to have lost a child as Kess had, simply watching her daughter from a distance. While they'd never discussed it, obviously, Janey could only imagine how that problem affected everything else in Kess' life.

"Thanks - don't suppose you know anyone who has any jobs going, do you?" Kess asked, lightly, as if it weren't of any great consequence if the answer was as negative as she expected it to be. After all, she didn't need to say where she'd worked, right?

Was Kess unemployed? Janey couldn't imagine she was; she had to be supporting herself somehow. Maybe she was hoping for a change. "You might check with the police station," Janey said. She remembered a few months ago Danny had mentioned they needed someone, and she remembered because she'd considered, briefly, getting a job there. Something to keep her busy during the days. But Danny hadn't liked the idea, and Janey had talked herself out of the fleeting thought of employment. "My husband tells me they're always looking for someone to help in filing, or with answering phones and such."

Kess was almost surprised at the answer - she hadn't actually thought that there would be a job going at the station. Just figured it was the ramblings of a drunken guy. She felt a spike of loss and depression - with her past, was it really worth it? Even if she'd not actually been involved with the illegalities at Babylon, would the police force really touch someone like her? She doubted it, but she forced a smile. "Thanks - I might check that out. I appreciate it," she told Janey. "So, how is your husband - is he working today?" she asked, looking around for the said other half.

Janey considered lying, but for what? It wouldn't make her feel much better, and did Kess really care if Danny came to church or not? Doubtful. "Oh, no, he's just at home," she said. Danny had never been a regular churchgoer but had always been pretty good about going with Janey if she wanted him to. The past few months, though, even that was a challenge, and convincing him was a battle Janey never felt like fighting.

"Oh. Right. Big night and all last night - I'm not surprised," Kess said, giving Janey the out of an excuse, if she wanted to take it. people could get funny if their other half wasn't a church goer, she knew that, and she wasn't trying to pass judgement. Hell, she knew that she herself only often came here because there was always the chance of spying her daughter. not sofar today though, which was a shame.

"Exactly," Janey said with a forced laugh. "But, I should be getting home, hopefully before the rain starts," she added, feeling that the conversation had come as far as it was going to go. She didn't really want to go home, anticipating that Danny's mysterious lousy mood from last night would be unchanged, and he'd likely be as forthcoming about it as he'd been then too. But she didn't have a choice, really, of anywhere else to go for any good reason.

Kess glanced up at the sky - the only times it didn't seem about to start raining in this city was when it already was, or when it had only just stopped. "Sure - it was nice talking to you though," she said, knwoing she probably shouldn't linger any longer either. It was tempting, to keep her here, just so she would have a valid reason to keep looking for Arden, feel less like a stalker, but that was unfair to Janey, and she wouldn't use people like that. "Hopefully I'll see you around," she added.

"I'm sure you will--I'm always around here," Janey replied. "I hope things work out for you--I'll be praying for you," she added. Then she headed down the steps towards home, at a quick pace to try and beat the rain.