keep you safe

Who: Alec and Marian
When: Late
Where: the ride home

After their dance Alec had been whisked off to some other social engagements and Marian found herself claiming her glass back from his sister-in-law. As the night wore on, she tried to stick with him, but for the most part he had a room to work and though she was at his side when she could be, it wasn’t always possible. And when they were together, they were hardly alone and the instances that might have been interpreted differently between them while they were dancing seemed so far away Marian wondered if she’d imagined them.

As the ball drew itself to a close, Marian, tipsier than expected, pulled shawl Shoshannah had given her around her shoulders and waited on Alec to say his goodbyes. It didn’t bother her that he had people to cater to, in fact she found herself smiling softly at him as he chatted up some political person of some sort. There was a sense of pride in him, in seeing who he was out of context to her and learning how important he was when he wasn’t sitting in the corner booth at the diner.

Sometimes Alec felt goodbyes took almost as long as the socializing part of the evening, with everyone spotting him leaving and trying to get in a last few words, a few more requests, another favor. He was good at extracting himself quickly though, speaking of the late hour and an early morning tomorrow. The workaholic reputation served him well. Even with a pretty date on his arm, work was what he was most distracted by. Most of the time anyway. For now though, with him and Marian leaving the ballroom and heading out to the car, he allowed himself to just relax and enjoy her company. “Well I think that’s the fastest I’ve been able to leave one of these things,” he told her as they walked down the emptying sidewalk to the car. “I’m still sorry about you having to wait on that.” He could see the slight flush on her cheeks and he wrapped a casual arm around her shoulders to help her keep her balance, not to mention the fact that all she had was a shawl and it was the middle of the night. What women did for fashion.

As his arm fell around her shoulders Marian felt her stomach flip over. It was such a casual movement, just a comfortable gesture that she almost stumbled from the shock of it. “It was fine, you’re important here. I understand that,” she said with a soft smile, looking up at him. Could she lean into him with his arm around her? Was that allowed? She had no idea what was and what wasn’t, especially with Alec, but she wanted to. Feeling a little daring or maybe just feeling a little looser from the alcohol she went with what she wanted, leaning into him a little more resting her head against his side.

That caught him off guard and he wondered if she was enjoying his company or if she were tired. He tightened his arm a little around her shoulders and they arrived at the car, the driver already waiting with the back door open. “The boarding house,” he instructed and climbed in after Marian. “So... there’s something I want to tell you,” he said, drumming his fingers on his knees.

Marian settled into the car, glad that it was warm and cozy. She let the shawl drop a little on her shoulders, since she didn’t need it as much in the car. When he got in, Marian didn’t shift all the way over to her side of the car like she usually did, instead staying close to him. “Tell me what?” she asked, mind running away with what it could be. He was drumming his fingers, did that mean he was nervous? What did that mean?

“It might mean that it may very well not be safe for us to spend time together, either,” Alec continued. They weren’t attached. She lived in a boarding house, was really an easy target and Alec would try his hardest to make sure nothing from his work came down on her head. “But you can do the story on this, then that can help you with work.” He exhaled and rested against the back of the seat, staring at a point on the ceiling of the car. “I’m going to announce my run for mayor on Monday.”

Oh. Marian hadn’t expected that. She’d expected him to say something about them, but not about them not being together anymore. She had to forced herself to listen, sliding back a little from being close enough to hold on to him. “Mayor?” she asked softly not quite following. That seemed right out of left field.

Alec nodded and reached up to loosen his tie, feeling strangled all of a sudden. “Mayor, yeah,” he confirmed. “Tired of sitting around with only the ability to throw money at things. Want to do more.” He looked at Marian when she pulled back, their faces flickering in passing street lights. “You think I’m crazy too, don’t you?”

Marian found the edge of her shawl very interesting, looking at it for a minute. Alec wanted to run for mayor. That wasn’t ridiculous, not when she thought about him at the party. It seemed to fit him, talking to people, schmoozing them. “I don’t think you’re crazy Alec,” she said looking up and folding her hands in her lap. “I thought you were going to say something else that’s all.” She’d let herself get carried away with day dreams and now he was pushing her away. He was going on to great things and couldn’t be seen with her on his arm. There was a Davenport or a Rockefeller or something that he could be seen with. “Mayor’s huge. Congrats.”

She didn’t sound particularly pleased or congratulatory and he looked over at her, concern on his features. “Running for mayor means that the mob is going to want my head on a platter,” he said as gently as he could, but how gently could you say ‘By Monday there’ll be a target on my back’?

Marian felt a little childish. She’d been thinking about them and about dancing and party dresses and Alec was talking about far more serious things. Embarrassed she rubbed at her forehead a little, wishing she wasn’t a little drunk so her head wouldn’t swim like it did. “You’ll need a whole new image to run with then? Something that the people can appreciate, can look up to.” She was trying, trying to seem like she understood when all she wanted to do was get out of the car and walk home. “A wife,” she murmured, turning to look out the window. Alec Ravenwood wasn’t going to marry his favorite waitress from his favorite diner. She’d moved up in the world but she hadn’t actually made any progress. “You’ll be safe won’t you?”

“Image? Wife? No, Marian that’s not it.” He reached for elbow to get her attention, looking at her with concern. “They will use you to hurt me, Mar. Out of all my loved ones, you are the easiest way to hurt me.” His nieces and nephews were obviously a given, but that was also part of being a Ravenwood. “I cannot drag you further into this, not until I know it’s safe.” If it ever became safe remained to be seen, but until then. “I can’t lose you, Marian, you have to understand that.”

Marian hadn’t been expecting him to pull on her arm, not expecting him to turn her around. He was calling her one of his loved ones, telling her that she was something that could hurt him. Her head as still swimming a little and she shook it, trying to clear it. “But you are losing me. You can’t be seen with me, which means, I’m gone.” This shouldn’t bother her the way it was, but she’d fallen into that trap, the one she’d tried to avoid and now he was telling her she meant a lot to him, enough to get rid of her. It was confusing and twisted and she didn’t know how to find her way out of it.

“Not forever,” he quickly promised, reaching for her other arm as well. “I have no idea what’s going to happen for these next couple weeks, but just because it’s safer for you if we aren’t seen together for a little while doesn’t mean I can’t speak to you. I need you,” he said and shit, that was a little too open ended for him to even begin dealing with. “I need your help. And I need you to stay alive. If you got caught in the crossfire and something happened to you, I’d never forgive myself, Marian. When it’s safe, then we can... We can keep working on this. If there’s something. But there can’t be anything if you’re gone and I’m telling you this instead of ignoring you like I would any other woman I was seeing.” His face was set, serious and strong but his eyes were open with worry and concern, his voice holding the tinges of worry and desperation. “I want to make this city better, Marian. For you. And I need your help. And if you want to walk away, I understand and I wouldn’t blame you for it.”

He had her arms and Marian had no idea what to do about it besides lean into him so he wouldn’t tug on them. She heard what he was saying, lower lip pulled between her teeth while he spoke. “I don’t know what you want me to do Alec,” she said. “I don’t want to leave, but I don’t want to leave you alone in this either.” She could have blamed it on a million other things, but really it was Alec’s eyes that had her pulling one of her arms away and touching his cheek lightly.

Alec shut his eyes for a moment before reaching up to take her hand, pulling it from his cheek but holding it in his. “Be my eyes and ears at the paper. You’re in the perfect position to hear what people are talking about without them feeling like censoring their words because you’re entry level. But not the kind where you go breaking into offices or snooping through desks. Never put yourself intentionally in a place where you can get hurt.” He opened his eyes and looked at her. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this. You can say no. It’s okay.”

Marian listened to him, still feeling like she was being pushed away, even if that wasn’t all of it. He was telling her that he cared about her, and she had to hold on to that. “I can do that,” she said nodding, almost eager. Anything to not be cut completely off.

The sound of her voice had him shaking his head. He could hear the eagerness and that wasn’t his intention. “I’m not going to leave you forever, Marian.” I hope not... if there’s a bullet between my eyes then I can’t do much about it “I want you to be safe and I will do what I can to make sure you’re safe. Don’t do this because you think it’s the only way for us to... to have this. Because that’s not true.”

“It’s not?” Marian asked, not even sure what she was asking for. She didn’t even know what this was, but if it was the quiet moments they’d had, she wanted it, she wanted to keep it.

“No, Mar, it’s not. I didn’t say that. We have to stay away from one another for awhile because I don’t want you to get hurt. That’s regardless. When it’s safe, I will come back. I promise that.”

Did she tell him that him leaving was going to hurt? Did he not know that? “What if I don’t care?” she asked knowing it was a stupid thing to ask. She wanted to not care, to be brave enough to just tell him what she was thinking, that she’d rather not lose him.

“Don’t care about what? Getting hurt? Imagine what that’d do to your brother,” he reminded her, understanding the feeling very much. He’d also imagine that if Marian told her brother what was going on, words might be had.

She hadn’t told Roy about Alec. Or at least not much about him. She hadn’t really told anyone but Shoshannah. “I know,” she said softly. “I just don’t want you to...” He breath hitched a little and Marian couldn’t find the words. It was too much to tell him, not with just vague promises of coming back to hold on to.

Alec wrapped his arms around her in a hug, holding her tight. “We’re friends. You help remind me why I’m trying to do this. I’m not going to leave forever.”

Marian was a little surprised that he pulled her close to him, but at the same time it was what she wanted and she leaned against him, fingers hooking in the lapels of his jacket. Friends wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear, but it was better than nothing. “I know you aren’t,” she said against his chest.