no turning back now

who: brett and eris
where: their place
when: before the party

She needed to be calmer than this. She was very, very aware of that. And she'd never been a woman who was given to bouts of nerves, but right now, that was what it felt like. Like her stomach was in knots, and she'd not eaten earlier because of it. She still didn't feel like she could eat anything. She'd tried to get as much sleep as possible, but she wasn't entirely sure she'd gotten much. It felt a lot like she was still tired, even if she didn't feel sleepy.

Getting ready had taken her a while, as she'd known it would. She'd given herself sufficient time, doing her hair, her make up, putting on her dress and heels, and, as she stood in the bedroom, looking at herself in the vanity mirror, she was putting in her earrings, and finally, her necklace.

She was all in red. Specifically, she was in red because he'd told her he liked it. If asked, she was in red because it was striking, and tended to stand out in people's memories more than other colors might. Or, that she had ruby jewelry. Or some other excuse that wasn't her dressing up with him in mind. The last times she'd done so, it hadn't worked out so terribly well for her. Pausing, she reached out and scanned the perfume bottles she had. In the end, she chose one that was one of her most expensive, but also one that was an older scent. The women around tonight would likely be wearing the very newest of fragrances--and therefore they were also all likely going to be showing up wearing the same thing. She wanted to be different, so she went for something that would be harder to come by these days.

What she was trying to do was avoid looking at the red mark around her neck. With her hair up like she'd done it, it was all the more prominent. It really stood out in her mind, though she couldn't tell if that was because she was looking for it, or it really was that obvious. Closing her eyes for a long moment, she finally put her necklace on, the rubies glittering at her throat, and she was finished. Ready. Or, on the outside she was ready, at any rate. In actuality? Mentally and emotionally? Not so much. There was the sick-feeling going on to be concerned about. But she was doing this--as she'd told Brett earlier in the day--it was too late to back out now.

She just needed to breathe. So, she did that, taking a few moments to draw in a deep breath and let it out slowly, hoping that she'd calm down more with it.

Brett stood in the bathroom, looking into the mirror, wondering what the hell he had thought, ever thinking this was a good idea. He'd been confident right up until about ten minutes ago, when he'd donned the damn tux after he'd gotten out the shower. And with the formality, his confidence disappeared. Now he stood there, looking at himself. But, he wasn't changing with staring, and that wasn't helping any, so he turned and walked out into the bedroom.

His formal shirt was still unbuttoned at the neck, and he had absolutely no idea how he tied the damn bow tie they'd given him. It was a mystery that didn't look right. he thought that that was where his confidence had really started to ebb - when he'd tried to tie the damn thing. It had just ended up in a frustrating mess every time, until he'd given up and now it just lay draped around his neck. She could manage it, he was sure. He figured she was good at that kind of thing.

She was also, he noted as he caught sight of her all dolled up for the first time, good at looking good. More than good, it almost took his breath away. Certainly it calmed some of his nerves and brought back some of that belief that maybe this would work. If nothing else, she certainly looked the part. "You look good," he told her, walking up behind her and looking over her shoulder into the mirror.

Really, she hoped she looked better than just 'good'. She'd been going for something a little better than that, but she wasn't going to ask him to tell her so. Even if for a second, she considered it. He wasn't the only one suffering from a lack of confidence at the moment. She looked at him in the mirror. "So do you." she said, turning, so she could reach up and tie his bow tie. He'd been right, she did know how to do that, and she didn't fuss with it much, she just tied it, made sure it was even, then fixed his collar around it. A lot of little phrases seemed to pop to mind, such as 'are you ready for this?' but she didn't give them voice. It might betray that she sure as hell wasn't.

He roamed his gaze over her face, then dropped down to the necklace she was wearing. He'd considered buying something for her, for tonight, but had dismissed the idea. She had plenty of jewels, after all. And with everything else, his budget wouldn't have stretched to 'extraordinary', which it would have needed to be. Anything else would have been futile. They were out to make a statement, and you didn't make a statement with anything less than the best. And here and now, she looked like the best. They could do this. He smiled a little with the thought, his doubts fading. They could really do this.

She arched a brow when he smiled that little bit. "Is something amusing?" she asked lightly. If there was something, she sure as hell wanted to know. she could use a little bit of something else to think about, or something that could distract a bit from her internal twitching. There was that low grade screaming going on in the far back of her mind, and she really couldn't afford to let that keep going. She needed to shut it the hell up. Though, really, she could imagine that when she got there, when she had to be Eris, so to speak, she'd fall into the role like she had the other times. Like when she dealt with Jakob, or Ronnie, or the girls.

"Not amusing so much as just knowing we're going to be fine," he told her, getting a waft of her perfume. He had no idea what it was, but he knew he liked it.

That makes one of us. Glad to see someone has confidence. Now if only I could be convinced of that... she thought, but didn't say. Again, she didn't want to be admitting her own fears, and it wouldn't help anything to freak out at him right now, or show that she was freaked out. It wouldn't accomplish anything, it wouldn't do anything but possibly knock holes in his confidence, so...she buried it. Even if she felt incredibly vulnerable. "Anything specific bring that on, or have you been brimming with confidence all day, and I just haven't noticed?" she asked, light edge of a playful note beneath her tone. Just a bare hint, but it was there.

"Seeing you," he admitted, figuring that passing on compliments really couldn't hurt anything right now, though usually he'd keep that kind of thing more to himself. Normally he'd be worried about putting his opinions on potentially emotional matters out there because it could possibly make him vulnerable. But tonight, tonight was different. "You look like a million dollars. You look like you belong there, and that's half the battle won before we even step foot through the door."

That earned a smile out of her, as she looked up at him. "That's more what I was going for. Looking slightly better than 'good'." she told him. "So, at least I hit the mark." Then she stepped back from him, and turned in a slow circle, so he could see the whole package, even if he'd have already seen her. She stopped not exactly facing him, so she could look at him over her shoulder, and she ensured that the side she had towards him was the one that had the slit in the skirt. "So, Mr. Trent, am I looking ready to make my return from the grave?"

"They won't know what hit them," he told her. And hopefully they'd be too busy staring in shock to notice if either of them made a slip up. Tonight would be hard, he knew. They needed to keep entirely on top of their game. "Have you taken your pills?" he asked her, bearing that in mind.

Even if the question was valid, and everything, it still made her twitch a little, because it ruined the fantasy that she was actually capable. "Not unless you gave them to me and I don't remember." she said. These days, she'd fallen back into the habit of letting him take care of her meds, because she knew he remembered them all correctly. What to take, when, all of that. He didn't mess it up, like she tended to. Though he'd had her covered with the notes he'd written for her a while back, but, well, that had been when they weren't living together. ...which was still an idea that was crazy for her to think about.

He shook his head. "No, not yet - I'll get them for you," he told her, noting that she didn't react to well to the question. "I'll be right there with you all night, I'll stay where you can see me and if you need me, I'll be over in a moment," he reassured her. He knew it would be impossible to promise to never leave her side, either one of them could be pulled away for a moment, but he wouldn't leave her on her own.

"I know." she said. They'd gone over it. That was the plan. He'd be there, and hopefully she wouldn't screw things up royally, and he'd be able to pick up what she missed. They had a plan. They had a worked out course of action. She just needed to be okay with that, and go for this like it wasn't riding on the shoulders of a woman with braindamage who couldn't remember if she'd taken her medication today or not. Really. It'd be fine. Sure.

There was little else that he could say to that, and so he turned, walking away to get her meds and a glass of water and bringing them over to her. "Is there anything else you need me to do, or remember, or...?" he asked her.

She took her pills first, swallowing the water down, then she turned back to the vanity to fix her lipstick again, after she considered the rejected the idea of kissing him before she did that. "Just make sure I don't drink too much. I'll try to only accept drinks from you specifically, and make sure that any I do have are spread out. I'm going to try and make them last as long as I can, without kicking up too much suspicion, but just sort of keep tabs on it, in case I don't remember how many I've had." she said. Because as much as she loved her drinking, right now she needed to not do that. Especially on an empty stomach, and with as flustered as she was already feeling. Dumping a bunch of alcohol into the mix wouldn't help either of them.

Brett nodded at that. "Drink of choice? What are you best with? Anything that particularly goes to your head, or that you can handle better than others?" he asked her. Usually he'd only seen her drinking red wine or whiskey of some description, but he didn't know if she maybe more expected to drink something like champagne at this place.

"They'll likely have pretty much anything available. Just don't get me anything hard, stick with wine or champagne. I don't especially care which, just keep an eye on how many glasses I've had. That's all. If I'm trying to concentrate on everything else, then I really need to not be worrying about what glass I'm on. Like I said, though, I'm going to try and make them last, just to cut down on the possibility of anything going awry, but still. I'll feel better if I know you're paying attention to that." It would be a small, but really a first true test of this whole deal. She fixed her lipstick, then stood straight again, turning back towards him.

"You won't have too much," he promised her, cutting through her repetition of what she needed. Hell, he always kept an eye on her drink anyhow, he hated it when she had anything near what he considered to be 'too much', so it was no hardship for him to count what she was drinking. It would be harder for him to ignore it, she was asking him to do something he would be doing anyway, but he knew why it was important to her to know. They had to trust each other. Two people who had a hard time trusting anyone at all, and they couldn't pull this off without relying on each other.

She drew in a breath, and let it out in a quiet rush. "Right." she said. "...Well, let's get going." I don't really want to give myself too much time to freak the hell out, and completely derail myself. she added silently. Because she did need to just do this. Just pull the trigger already and jump in, and see what happened. Hopefully, she was as capable as he seemed to assume she was. Hopefully, this didn't all crash and burn.

"Should I get your coat?" he asked her, almost formally. It was hard to joke about things, even in a dry way he'd normally go for, when they were at the edge of a precipice. But things needed to be done, and plans had to be followed through. They were going out into the night and how they did would affect the rest of their lives. It was hard not to let the bigger picture become overwhelming.

Starting a little early on the act, aren't you? she thought, but kept to herself. "Please." she answered instead. "The black fur in the closet." she added, because that was definitely the coat she was going to be wearing tonight, not her usual, nondescript one. No, something much more lavish than that. She walked towards the living room, heading out into it as she gazed towards the windows. A burst of nerves hit her, and she had to take a moment to lean one hand against the wall, and breathe.

He fetched it, along with the black cashmere one that the tailor had recommended he get at another extortionate price. Slipping his coat on, he carried the fur into the other room and slipped it over her shoulders, stepping in close behind her as he did so. "You look great," he told her, pressing himself against her for a moment. "You're going to do great," he added.

Eris really hated that she needed to hear that. But she did. She really, really needed to hear it in some deep down, desperate sort of way. She leaned very slightly back against him when he was there, then nodded a tiny bit. "Hopefully that confidence is good enough for the both of us." she said, though she attempted to keep a positive sort of note in her voice as she did. She didn't want to sound like she was forseeing doom.

He dropped his head, stooping to lay a light kiss on the column of her neck. "Let's see then, should we?" he suggested, straightening up again and stepping back from her. It was time, there was no going back now.