old friends

who: December and Ethan
where: The boardwalk
when: Early afternoon

December was a girl who stood out. She did it deliberately, of course, but she definitely did so. She was off her shift at the haunted house, so she'd taken a little bit of a walk around the place, looking at it in the daylight, which was something she didn't see all that often. It wasn't that she was purely nocturnal or anything, but she burned to a crisp in the sunlight half the time so she avoided it.

Still, today was a nice day, and she thought she ought to at least pretend she was having an okay day. Mostly she was bored. Bored, and a little heavy in thought. She'd been back for a while, but hadn't done a whole lot in the way of re-exploring. She'd been too busy helping with the set up of the boardwalk, and with her clients to do much of that, and while she wasn't going to today either, she knew she needed to sometime. Walking to the tall wooden rail that overlooked the water, she sat down and dangled her feet over the edge, towards the water. Then she dug out the cigarette she'd bummed off of one of the game runners and lit it, taking a drag as she smirked, hearing people skittering away from her, and whispering while they were at it.

The funeral had left a strange taste in Ethan's mouth. The meeting with Roy before, and then the actual funeral. Maddy had cried all throughout, trying to be as quiet as she could, and the urge to put his arm around her, to make everything better for her, had been nearly overwhelming. But he hadn't, not then. It just... it hadn't felt like the right time or place. Corey had been there too, and after the funeral was over, he'd offered to help her back to the nest, but she'd shrugged him off, insisted she'd be fine. Maddy went to work and Roy left as well, leaving Ethan with... nothing to do. It felt strange. With Dodge, he was always up to something, even if it was just patrolling, keeping an eye on things, sorting out problems when he saw them. Now, with no direction, he felt... lost. Like any moment he'd go completely out of his head.

After the funeral, being in the same city felt overwhelming, made restlessness settle into his shoulders and back. It was the color and life of the boardwalk, so different from the rest of the city, that drew him. It was still early afternoon, so with school still being in session, it was mostly older couples, families who had taken the day off, kids cutting class. He watched the people around him, reveling in their perfectly ordinary lives. What he wouldn't give to be a part of that...

He eventually made it to the end of the boardwalk, overlooking the water. With the sunlight glittering off of it, it actually looked clean, peaceful, picture perfect. He leaned his elbows against the railing, trying to forgot about his life, just for a moment.

Ashing her cigarette down into the water, December let her legs swing a little, her shoes on the pier next to her. She could still hear people whispering, and she distinctly heard the word 'freak', something she smirked at. So she turned, and looked at the closet group of people who were staring at her, and she grinned at them, before she snapped her teeth at them. "Fuck off." she hissed at them, one of the little old blue haired ladies gasping and shuffling off at such language use. She then said a few words she'd learned off of a gypsy about a year ago and spit in their direction, which sent the lot of them running off, talking about the Evil Eye--which had been her intention entirely.

Ethan turned his head when he heard all of the commotion nearly, watching the scene with a quirked eyebrow. He was used to getting stared at as well, because of his scar, though he usually decided to just ignore it instead of antagonizing it. With people he wanted to intimidate, sure, he played it up, but usually he tended to just want to do whatever he was doing in peace. As the old women hurried off, he'd started to turn away, doing a double take when he caught a glimpse of the girl's face. It had been years since they'd seen each other, if it was her, but there was just something about her that reminded him... "December?"

Automatically looking in the direction of her name, December turned, distracted, glancing around though it was hard to miss a guy as big as Ethan. She found herself staring up at him, where he was standing just a little ways away, and details sank in in rapid succession. Like that height, for one. And the scar. It was really hard to miss a scar like that, and it had been one she'd looked at every day for a long time before she'd left the city. And for a second she didn't do anything, just staring at him like she'd seen a ghost. She'd kind of looked around for him when she'd got back, but whatever, it wasn't like she was setting one foot inside that fucking church, and no one had seemed to know anything about a guy named Ethan. So she'd stopped looking, assuming he was dead or gone, one of the two. Apparently, her assumption there had been a little premature. "Ethan?" she asked, voice sounding distant to her ears. She'd...well. Thought she'd never see him again.

It was her. Ethan had spent a lot of time thinking about her, especially right after she'd left the orphanage, wondering where she'd gone, if she was okay. She'd been so young, so small, when she had left that he'd been terrified over whether or not she would survive, but here she was. Bigger, older, rude as hell (but that's wasn't really new) and a little... different looking with all that metal in her face, but it was December. Alive. "Where the hell did you go?" he asked with a big grin, going towards her and holding a hand out to help her up from the boardwalk ground.

She laughed, a sudden, abrupt sort of sound. She normally would have kept that to herself, but it was just there, and she couldn't keep it back. She looked at his hand for a moment, and then decided fuck it, and took it, taking the help up. Standing, she looked up at him. "Jesus fucking christ, you'd think that in the time between I'd at least have to stop getting a crick in my neck just to look at you." she said, which so wasn't the case. Because standing--he was still a giant, and she was a tiny girl. She was definitely looking way up at him. There was a grin on her features, though, something genuine that didn't show up a ton these days. "I left. I was everywhere, and now I'm back. You look exactly the same." she said, blurting that out, and she partially reached up to touch the scar on his face, then stopped just short, not even sure if that was something she should do or not.

"Yeah, sorry," Ethan said, grinning a little sheepishly and rubbing at the back of his neck. He hunkered down a bit so she didn't have to look so far up at him (and he didn't have to look so far down at her) but it didn't help much. There was well over a foot of height difference between them. "You... don't look the same at all," he said, laughing. But it wasn't the malicious, look-at-that-freak sort of laughter, just amazement over the paths his friend had taken. The paths both of them had taken. "Everywhere doesn't tell me much. It's been years, I didn't know what happened to you."

December smiled at him, crossing her arms over her chest. "Do I look scary now?" she asked him, an echo of their history. Of the day he'd left. That was something that she always remembered pretty clearly. They'd been all muddy and beat up and there'd been the trunk she'd spent hours in before her departure. He'd begged her not to leave. "And everywhere...all over America. I left with the carnival when they were in town. It's been disbanded, though, so I didn't have anywhere else to go." she admitted. "Where have you been? What have you been doing?" she asked, taking a last drag of her cigarette and then she flicked it into the water. She sat down where she'd been again and patted the planks next to her.

Ethan smiled back at her and shook his head. "Nope. I still see December," he said. She might have been trying to be scary, but it was just like when they were kids--he didn't find her scary. And not just because he was three times her size, but because... he'd been her friend and knew what she was like. And now that she was definitely not dead he could be her friend again. He sat down next to her on the planks, folding his arms on top of the bar halfway up the railing. "I left the orphanage a while after you did," he said. "Was running with this guy and his group for a while, but... that's all weird now." He looked at December and grinned. "You've run into me at a crossroads. Now I've gotta find a job and a place to live like a real, civilized person, not some street kid." He leaned over, punched her lightly in the arm. "What were you doing with the carnival?"

She swayed to the side when he punched her, an over-exaggeration of the hit. She smirked, though. "A crossroads? Interesting. Guess I am too, just...finding my feet here again." she said. "You could probably crash with me sometimes, if you don't mind the spooky setting." she added. It was weird because it wasn't weird. she was sitting there talking to him and it was almost like she could have left yesterday. Like there wasn't some awkward vibe going on between them. "And what do you think I was doing with them? They headed out, I wanted out. So I made costumes for people, and sometimes? I was a Freak." she told him, giving a full amused smirk at that. "The Impaled Woman." she added, leaning back dramatically and batting her eyes at him. "I drew crowds."

"How long have you been here?" Ethan asked, a little bewildered by the thought that she may have been here for a while now, right underneath his nose. He certainly appreciated her offer of letting him stay with her, but he wasn't sure if he should take her up on it. He'd known her back at the orphanage, but they had been MIA to each other for years, and it... didn't feel appropriate to dump himself on her so soon after reuniting. But he didn't like dumping himself on Corey either... the other situation was weird and difficult. "Impaled Woman... oh, I gotcha." He was used to December's face behind all of the piercings that he'd already nearly forgotten they were there. He winced a bit, rubbing at his own nose, where a metal bar was pierced through hers. "Doesn't that hurt, leaving that in there like that?"

"I don't know. A while. Months." December said to the first question, shrugging. Then she gave him an impish look. "And it only hurts for a while." she explained. "It stops, though. Unless you deliberately pull at them." Which she tended to like, but she wasn't saying that right now. "Like ink hurts while you're getting it, but it's not a bad pain, and once it heals, it doesn't hurt at all anymore." she added. "It's just pain. It all fades, it all heals." She leaned a little closer to him, peering up into his eyes. "Why?" she asked. "Just curious?"

"Months? Wow..." Ethan leaned back on his hands, looking up at the sky, clear and blue. It seemed impossible that December had been here for months and he hadn't known. There was so much time lost between them and they could've been making it up, her telling him stories about the carnival. He leaned back when she leaned forward, grinning a little crookedly. "Just curious. It looks uncomfortable. You've got tattoos too?"

She watched him leaning back away from her, and she sat up straight again. "Shy?" she asked, but it wasn't pointed, it was rhetorical. It did give her a little twinge that he was pulling back away from her, but she told herself it had been a long time, so maybe he just didn't want her anywhere near him. She shrugged and looked back out at the water again. "I have ink." she confirmed for him.

Ethan blushed when she asked him if he was shy, more or less answering her question without speaking. Ethan knew a lot of girls, was now regularly sleeping next to one, that didn't mean he wasn't always entirely at ease with them. December now was especially different from how he had known her in the orphanage. He coughed, willing his flush away, rubbing at his neck and eagerly changing the subject. "What of? I hardly ever see girls with tattoos, seems like more of a guy thing."

She watched him out of the corner of her eye, and saw the very clear 'why yes, I'm very shy' coming off of the guy in waves. That had her feeling mildly better again and she smirked. "It is more of a guy thing." she admitted. "I don't really know many girls with tattoos. But I wanted them. Never was a girl who decided just because no one else was doing it that I wasn't going to. If that was the case you'd have had a lot more concussions back in the day." she noted. Then she shrugged the light coat she'd been wearing off of her shoulders, and she pulled her hair off to the side, turning her back more towards him. "If you pull my clothes aside a little you can see." she said. The loose fitting top she had beneath the corset would be easy to pull down, and she actually did want to show off the wings on her back. Or she wanted to see what he thought about them, anyways.

Ah, great. What was it about him and girls needed him to touch them lately? Trying not to keep blushing, he gently nudging aside December's shirt, getting a look at her tattoos. Intrigued, he pulled it back a little further so he could get a better look. "Wings?" he asked. "Like an angel?" He fixed her shirt for her and leaned back again, grinning. "Doesn't really seem like you."

She looked back at him over her shoulder, trying to gauge his reaction by his expressions. It was a little more encouraging when he tried to get the better look at them. When he made his commentary, she smiled. "Lucifer started out as an angel." she pointed out. Which was all she'd say on the matter of the angelic. She'd gotten black angel wings, something that meant something to her. Or, they represented a lot, not the least of which was she felt like a dark soul wandering through a world that wasn't overly fond of the dark.

Ethan laughed then. "Now that sounds more like you." December had always been so intent on being as scary as possible when they were young, but he'd usually assumed it was some kind of phase, her wanting to be as intimidating as possible because otherwise, she was so small. But now it seemed like she had embraced it totally and any other image he'd had of her seemed impossible in comparison. This was who December had grown up to be, and she couldn't have grown up any other way.

She smiled at that. "Yeah, I thought that might explain it well enough." she said. "What do you think?" she asked. "They took a really long time. Hours, and in more than one sitting, sort of whenever we had time. The guy who did them was in the carnival and such." And he'd wanted them to be perfect, so he'd definitely taken his sweet time with it. But she thought the overall effect was more than worth all of that time, all the healing involved, everything.

"They look good," Ethan said. "Not that I know anything about tattoos or anything, but they look good. Like... a painting, but on your back, in your skin." It seemed impossible that there should be so much detail in something like that--he hadn't the slightest idea of how tattoos were done, but it certainly looked very complicated.

Pleased, that showed in her expression when she looked at him. "Thank you." she said. "I really like them. When you get ink, and it means something, you feel it." she explained, or tried to. "And you're right, it is like a painting. Only it's painting on you, your flesh. It's in your blood. You should try it sometime. I bet you'd like it. It's all...personal. Unique." she said, making a real effort to try and explain something she generally told people to fuck off over.

"It would kind of have to be, wouldn't it," Ethan said, digging his crumpled pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. "If it's on you forever and ever." A pre-rolled cigarette between his lips, he chuckled when she mentioned getting a tattoo himself. "I don't know about getting one. I'm not really... creative like that." And besides, everything that was important enough to him... he didn't really want to immortalize it on his skin. It was already burned into his mind and that was more than enough for him.

She propped her cheek against her arm as she leaned against the middle bar of the rail, eyes on him. "Not everyone does something significant, but those people are stupid." she said. "But you...you I think should have some. You deserve it. Something on you that you like, something that every time you look at it, you'll think of something, or someone." she continued. "Plus--tattoos are hot." she told him, winking. "They give women something to trace, a reason to touch you." she continued, sort of waiting for him to turn beet red. "I could always come up with a design for you."

Ethan struck his match against the railing in front of him, lighting his cigarette with his hand cupping around the flame. "I think too much as it is," he said, looking at December with a wry smile. Maddy, Dodge, his mother and father... the asshole who killed them... And then she was talking about him and women again and he coughed on his smoke, face red. "I'm not really worried about that," he mumbled, rubbing at his chest, his throat burning from the smoke going in wrong. Tattoos or not, he doubted women were going to be any more interested in him. "But you can if you want. Not that I can afford it or anything--I bet they're expensive."

"If I was going to do something for you, I'd pay for it." December said. "Call it a gift. And you're thinking about it wrong. Yeah, you think too much. Always did. But the point would be to put things in there that were good to think about." she told him. In her own mind, she knew, for instance, that he hated the scar on his face. She'd always kind of liked it, but that was her, and she knew she was weird on that score. But he hated it. Having a tattoo she thought might help counteract that a little bit. He'd have something he liked, that he wanted and that meant something that wasn't all doom and gloom, all trauma and badness. She kept her eyes on him for a moment, idly swinging her leg back and forth as she did so. "You're not worried about women?" she asked. "Why, already got one?"

"Oh, no," Ethan said, looking at December with surprise. "I don't need anything like that. You don't have to pay for that." The idea seemed crazy to him, paying for something like that when it was a struggle to buy food or clothes without holes in them. The money she would spend on a tattoo for him could go to so much more, something that was much more necessary. Talking about women again. He flushed, exhaling smoke and rubbing at the back of his neck. "No, not... not really. Not at all." Things with Maddy were weird, but it wasn't like, just because she'd broken up with Dodge, that he was any more of possibility in her mind than he'd ever been. "It's just... I don't really bother with it..." Or they didn't bother with him, but he didn't want to lay out all of his issues on yet another girl friend of his.

"No one said anything about need." December commented. "And I get to decide what I do and don't pay for." she added. "Now if you don't want what I come up with, then cool, but let's reserve judgment til later, kay?" she suggested. She watched him as he kind of stammered through the bits about women, watching his body language, his expression, all the little cues. When he was finished talking, she didn't say anything immediately, giving it due thought. Or, giving him due thought. "You don't really bother with girls...because you don't like girls?" she asked, wondering if he was one of those types that kind of went for other guys. There'd been a guy or two in the carnival that were more into each other than anyone else. So she accepted it as a possibility. After all, she herself could appreciate a pretty girl when she saw one, even if she wasn't involved with anyone ever. She could also easily appreciate that Ethan had grown up to be damn cute. Rough around the edges, definitely, but if he wasn't, she knew she wouldn't find him cute, either.

"What? No." Ethan shook his head immediately. "No, I like girls." He liked a girl, specifically. "I just... I've got better things to do, okay?" Ethan was terrible liar, not that the conversation up until this point had been terribly conducive to his lie appearing convincing. Knowing that, he grasped for the other topic. "Look, about the tattoo... I just don't want you to go blowing a whole bunch of money on me. There's a lot of stuff that's harder to come by out here than a tattoo for me."

December just stared at him for a few long moments. "Honey, have you not had girls crawling all over you for the past few years?" she asked. "Because if you haven't, there's something wrong with that. You're really cute." she told him, letting him know that straight away. She wondered if he didn't know that because of his scar. Or, alternately, if girls couldn't see past it, or saw it as a flaw. It was possible. A shame, but possible. "And I haven't seen you in years. You're the only person I even missed. I tried finding you when I got back, but people looked at me like I was stupid when I asked around for you, like they'd never heard of you. But...here you are, right here in front of me. If I want to get you something? You can fuck off if you think you're going to tell me what I can and can't do for you." she told him matter of factly. "Like I said, if you don't want a tattoo, fine. But if you do? Then I want to get it for you."

Cute? Ethan looked at December with a wry, dubious smile. He didn't believe that. Dodge was good looking. Roy was too, though Ethan could guess at his success with girls with his rather rough personality. But Ethan... didn't look like them. He never would. It wasn't even a question. He shook his head, deciding that December was just being nice, because they were friends. He chuckled when she told him to fuck off, knowing that she meant it but didn't really mean it. "Alright, okay," he said, holding his hands up defensively. "If you wanna toss your money at me, fine. Maybe all those years at the carnival made you bathtubs full of cash." He grinned, shrugged--it still seemed bizarre to him, but December didn't look like she was starving. "It's probably 'cause nobody really knows me by my real name. Everybody calls me Roach now. Or they did... trying to change that now that I'm not gonna be running with Dodge anymore."

She watched that smile of his, that 'I don't buy it' smile. "Good, so we're agreed on that, moving on. Why would you willingly go by a bug-name?" she asked. "That's not you." she told him firmly, shaking her head. "You're not a bug. A titan, maybe, but not a bug. But at least that makes sense why I didn't find you." she added. Then she kept her eyes on him, shifting more to face him. "You don't believe me." she said. "About the cute thing. What, no one's told you that before?" she asked.

Ethan shrugged. "They figured out I hated bugs and that's what they called me," he said. "It just kinda... stuck." It was an ironic nickname, surely, but honestly he wasn't entirely saddened to shed it, to be someone new again... or old, as the case may be. "Only a few people know me as Ethan. Maddy, and now you too." When December brought up the cute-topic again, he fought off a blush and shrugged. "You don't have to be nice."

December gave him a bit of a Look. "Sweetie, do I look like a nice girl to you?" she asked. "Do I look like the type who's just going to blow smoke up your ass? Why would I? I didn't even when we were kids, and let's just say our time apart hasn't mellowed me out any." she continued. "I wouldn't say it if I didn't think it. You're tall, dark and ruggedly good looking, with an edge of 'unique'. You don't look like every other asshole out there, and you're attractive. At least, you are to me." she told him honestly. Reaching out, she stole his cigarette from him and took a drag, before holding it back out to him, noticing the light print of her lipstick on the paper.

Tall, dark, and handsome? Now she was just fucking with him. He looked down at the lipstick on the filter of his cigarette (that was new) and took a drag. Holding smoke, he said, "I think you're a lot nicer than you think you are. You always were. To me, anyway." He smiled at December, flicking the ash of his cigarette into the water below. He appreciated the thought, but he knew better by now. Girls generally ignored him, especially when Dodge was nearby to try and charm their pants off, and he'd learned to do his best to not even give the matter any thought. Except when it came to Maddy--he got his hopes up sometimes (like now) but he was sure that, no matter how much he loved her, no matter how much he protected her, no matter how much she might care about him as a friend, he'd never get what he really wanted. Not there.

Giving him an unappreciative look, December turned her attention back out to the water. "You're calling me a liar." she pointed out. "Thanks a-fucking-lot." she muttered. One thing she had generally been was honest, whether or not that honesty came with tact. Generally, it never did. She could be more tactful with him, sure, but she'd never really taken to just lying to the guy. Maybe he didn't trust her anymore. She guessed that could be the case, that he didn't and it had been too long since he'd seen her, where he might mistrust her now. And she realized she should probably take those same precautions.

"I'm not calling you a liar," Ethan said, shrugging. He shut himself up for a moment, taking a long drag on his cigarette. "I just don't know what the hell you're looking at," he said, exhaling smoke and frowning hard. Tall and dark, sure, but handsome, and the combination of all three was just... there wasn't any kind of way. Ethan wasn't suave or good looking. He was too big and too scarred up to be of interesting to anybody. It was guys like Dodge that girls wanted--Ethan had learned that now. Not the way he treated them, no, that was utter shit, but good-lucking guys who were all smooth and charming. And that was as far from Ethan as you could possibly get.

She didn't look back at him right away, but did after a moment. "What I'm looking at is my own opinion." she said. "What I'm telling you is what I see, what I think. You don't get to naysay it, when it's how I feel about something. It's subjective. It's not your place to tell me. You can think what you want, and maybe there haven't been other girls around who are wise enough to see what's good that's right in front of them, but that doesn't mean I don't. And it doesn't mean I'm wrong, either. I think you're cute. I think you're hot, even. You've got great eyes, I like the height on you, you look like a guy who can hold his own, which I find attractive, and you're unique in general. Maybe it's not you. Maybe you just haven't been around the right girl." she suggested. "Maybe all those other girls want cookie cut out guys who are just like everyone else. I've never been a status quo kind of girl, though, and you, Ethan, aren't a status quo kind of guy. And there's no reason you should be, either." she said firmly. "Let those assholes all be a dime a dozen. Be different. It's a different world when you don't fit into all those molds." She made a sweeping gesture towards the crowds. "Look at all of them." she invited. "They're all sheep. They don't know anything about real life, or passion, or loss or pain or pleasure. They just trot through their lives, doing what they think everyone else does. They just go through life like they're sleepwalking. It's bullshit. It's all just bullshit."

"I'd switch with them," Ethan said, his arms folded on top of the mid-bar of the railing, dragging the butt of his spent cigarette across the wood, leaving glowing orange ash in its wake. "I'd trade in a heartbeat if it meant things hadn't turned out like they did." If it meant that his parents would still be alive that, that he hadn't laid in their blood for a day before help came for him. If it meant that he could be one of those smiling kids, sharing a bag of popcorn with his mom, his father's arm chummily around his shoulders. Instead, his parents had been brutally murdered and he had the scar to remind him of it and she wanted him to revel in that? Because it meant he was different? "I can't do that. Shit happened to me. I'm not different on purpose. I don't like it. I don't want it."

December didn't say anything for a few long moments, watching him as he looked out over the water now. "I know things happened to you." she said, her voice that little bit softer. "But that's not what I'm saying." she added. "And I'll tell you something else." she said, looking back at the crowds. "I meant what I said when I said it was all bullshit." she continued. "No one's got that life you see on magazine covers. They all just play pretend like it is." she said. "But that guy? The one standing there with his wife, and his kids? He's been staring at the ass of the woman down the rail from him for a good five minutes now. Men lie, people cheat, kids are snot nosed punks. People like that just think they're better than everyone else, and they aren't. Don't buy into the pretty lie, Ethan. They aren't any better, they just do a good job pretending they are." She drew in a breath and looked at him again. "I didn't say to revel in it, either. What I think is you should accept it. Accept who you are. Because you are who you are, complete with things that happened to you. Doesn't mean it was right, or good, but it's made you who you are." she said. "So who are you? Nowadays that is, because I knew you before, but I don't know the you of now. Tell me about you."

Even if it was all bullshit, Ethan would have liked to know that for himself. Instead, he'd had the ability torn away from him, and even if it was crap, even it was bullshit, even if it was just an illusion of lives as fucked up as anybody's on the street, he hated that didn't know. He hated that it had been stolen from him and there hadn't been a damn thing he could have done to stop it from happening. And accepting it? He couldn't... he couldn't do that either. It hurt too much to even remember it. "I don't know right now," he said honestly, looking at December, gladly grasping for the slight change in subject. "I was Roach. I was Dodge's muscle, right-hand-man, whatever it was. And now I'm Ethan again and I've gotta figure out something else to do, somewhere else to live. I can't keep mooching off of other people anymore. Even if the gang, it was the boys that were doing the most running around. I want to figure out how to support myself now, but all I've ever been good at is beating people up." He smiled wryly at December, shrugging.

She smirked back at him. "So you continued on after I left." she concluded. "Maybe you can be a fighter, look into boxing or something?" she suggested. "Prize fights could get you a lot of money, maybe. What do you like doing?" she asked. Then she paused. "...did you like beating people up, or did you just do it because you were good at it?" she asked, figuring that was important to factor in. She could imagine there was a part of him that enjoyed it. Some dark streak that she knew had been there before and if he kept at it all these years was possibly still present. Maybe it was a release for him--but she wanted to listen to him speaking on it, see what he said to try and make that assessment.

Ethan looked away from her, staring out at the water. "No, not boxing. My dad was a boxer." And it was what had gotten him killed, getting his boxing tangled up with the mob families. Ethan didn't want to get sucked into that again. He didn't want to be another ring bull for the mafia to use how they wanted to. "Like it, though?" He glanced over at her, then looked away again, shrugging. "It felt good, sometimes, if I was angry. Like I was working something out, getting... a release, I guess. Something to hit until I wasn't angry anymore. But that's... dangerous." He was thinking about the fight a few days before, how he'd lost control. "Last time I did that, I hurt someone I care about."

There. That was that dark streak she'd known before. And she wasn't surprised to see that it still existed in some form. She shifted closer to him, not saying anything for a few long moments. She listened carefully. "You hurt someone you care about?" she asked. "Why?" she asked. "What happened?" She had her own opinions forming on things, but the more information she had the better she could actually figure things out. He sounded like he felt guilty, or the 'dangerous' comment led her to believe that.

"One of our friends was killed," Ethan said, after a few quiet moments of wondering whether or not he should tell the story. "And we found the guys who did it. And I had him there underneath me, and I kept hitting him until I couldn't hardly see anything anymore. Nothing mattered, I just... I wanted to kill this guy. Literally. And I wasn't going to stop until I did it." He wiped a hand over his face. Even the memory of what exactly had happened was foggy--he'd been that far gone. "And Corey tried to stop me. I wasn't even thinking, I didn't even realize it was her. I just turned around her and hit her. I saw what I did to her later--bruised her real bad. Broke at least one rib for sure. Because I lost control like that. I can't do that anymore."

She fell quiet for a long moment, just sort of going over everything he just said in her head again. "Why didn't you kill him? If he killed a friend of yours, seems pretty fair to me. And it would mean he wouldn't be looking for revenge, or couldn't do it to someone else." she added, honestly confused on that score. An eye for an eye seemed the way to do things, in general. Or it was in her experience. "Hurting a friend, that's not good. Do you get there a lot? Like...so deep into rage that you don't know what you're doing?"

"I wanted to," Ethan said, wrapping his arms around the mid-bar and looking out at the water. "But it wouldn't have been good for anybody. If they found the body, it'd be all of us--all of the boys, me, Dodge. We'd all have been at risk." He shook his head, tilting his head enough to look at December. "Sometimes. More when I was younger, in the orphanage. But this... I don't know. I guess I got too in my head about this."

"Why didn't you just dump him in the river? No one would be the wiser. They're fishing people out of there all the time. Or, they were before and so far as I know that hasn't changed." December said, shrugging one shoulder. "What do you mean by too in your head about it?" she asked, still watching him even if he wasn't looking at her.

"Still, too risky. Everybody was there. If they found out, if they traced it back to us, it wouldn't be just my ass. It'd be everybody. Besides, Corey was hurt, and I'd done it... I was more worried about her after that." He glanced over at December, biting his lower lip and wondering how much he should tell her. "I was getting too angry about it. I was... I guess, projecting too much. It wasn't just about Pepper anymore, it was about me too, and my family..."

"Like what happened to you before you got to the orphanage?" she asked. She knew something major had happened. There was the scar, for one, but even beyond that, he'd had a hell of a lot of anger built up, and he really directed that to most of the people around him. You didn't really get there unless bad things had gone down. She knew that. There was a reason she was as messed up as she was, after all.

Ethan nodded, not looking at December. Not looking at the water either, with his eyes shut tight, trying to force the memories back out before they welled up in him again. He didn't want to think about what happened to him. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to remember that it had ever even happened.

When he closed his eyes, she kept watching him for a long moment, before she reached out and drifted her fingers through his hair, just a little. "You don't have to talk to me about it, but if you want to, I'll listen." she told him. "No judgments or anything." she promised. December, for all of her faults, was actually a pretty good listener. She didn't like talking about herself much so she often deflected the conversation onto others, and in order to keep up a conversation like that you had to be paying honest attention to whoever you were talking to.

Ethan opened his eyes when he felt her fingers in his hair, turning back towards her. In a moment, the overwhelming melancholy was gone and he was smiling, albeit small. "I've been talking enough about myself anyway. Come on, you were with a carnival for years, right? You must have some interesting stories."

She quirked a half smirk. "Not nearly as interesting as you'd think." she admitted. "Honestly I just sort of learned about the world." she continued. "And none of the lessons were all that great. I liked traveling around, and seeing different places? But the people everywhere were all pretty much the same, and they all suck. Like what I was saying earlier, about people, and how no one's really picture perfect? That's what I learned. That no matter where I was, there were going to be people who told me I was devil spawn, that I was a freak, and there'd be a handful of guys who wanted to get a little grabbier than I wanted them to. And it didn't matter how old I was, or anything. The world is a fucked up place. I think the best you can actually do in it is find people you want to share it with, and call it good."

Ethan frowned. He didn't like it when guys were grabby with girls like that; he hated that Dodge had always been like that, and he hated it even more when it was with girls he knew. With Maddy it was the worst, but even with girls he knew could take care of themselves, he felt the need to protect. December was no different, even if the incidents had been years ago. "That doesn't sound too bad. Carve out your own little niche, right?" He smirked at December, chummily punching her lightly in the shoulder. "And I don't think you're the devil spawn."

She laughed a light bit. "Something like that, yeah." she told him. "And you wouldn't think that. I think I just have you fooled is all. I mean, look at me. What do you see?" she invited, shifting to face him a little better, and she pulled her hair over one shoulder. She leaned forward a little bit so that her chest was a little more prominent--not that she had trouble in that particular area to begin with--and she tilted her head to the side just a tiny bit. She knew how to brush up alongside 'alluring' when she wanted to.

Ethan took a look at her, doing his damnedest to keep his blush in check once she poked her chest out. His eyes jumped back upwards, focusing on her face instead. Alluring, right, okay, don't focus on the little pout. He saw the piercings, the shiny rods and balls of metal stuck through her face. "I see a lot of that girl putting ink on her face and asking me if she was scary yet." He tilted his head, not frowning at her so much as just... quizzical. "Why do you want to scare people off so badly? I don't think people would lash out so much if you weren't trying so hard to be scary."

She looked like she was going to say something to his first comment, and she had to admit she liked that blush in his cheeks. it was far too cute. But then he asked her a question, and that darkened things in her eyes a touch. "I want them to leave me alone." she answered him, truthful, even if she looked back out at the water, her turn to avoid eye contact. They seemed to be trading off on that. "Things get...difficult when they don't leave you alone. Those grabby kinds of guys? Yeah, they kind of figure if you're traveling with a carnival that you're a whore, which isn't the truth, and they also know that it means you don't have like, family or anything. It was one of those things where I just learned pretty goddamn fast that it was best if I could get people to not want to come within ten feet of me. And sure, some of the people at the carnival helped protect me and shit, but no one can protect you twenty four hours a day, y'know? Plus I wanted to take care of myself. But doing that meant making sure there were less people out there who actively wanted a piece of December Trent."

Ethan didn't like that, that this was what she had to resort to in order to keep away from unwanted attention. He hated that things had gotten that bad for her, and that he hadn't been around to keep it from happening. He'd never thought it was that fucking difficult to be respectful of people's boundaries. Well, when he didn't intend to beat the shit out of them, that was. "But now people call you names and stare at you. Doesn't seem like people are leaving you alone this way either."

"I'll take name calling over dragging me into the nearest alley to cop a feel any day." December said immediately. "And I don't care what they think." she added, shrugging. "They can eat me. they're all just stupid sheep. Doing whatever, and not understanding anything anyways. They're dumb, they're mean, and I don't give a damn what they think about me. Y'know, just so long as what they think is 'shit, I better not get my parts anywhere near her, or they're likely to get ripped off'."

"Makes sense," Ethan said, frowning a bit. He supposed he had an advantage there. Being well over six feet tall, big and scarred, it was easy for him to look scary. People didn't mess with him, and when they did it was easy enough for him to make short work of them. But December was a tiny girl and it took a lot more to scare people off. "I wish you hadn't left though. I know I can't really talk about it's like... you're so angry now. I wish you hadn't gone through all that."

She looked back over at him then, not saying anything for a minute. "I'm not really angry." she said. "It's more...I just know the world is a shitty place, full of shitty people, and I'm not a nice girl. Fairytales are bullshit, and no one lives happily ever after. And pretty much everyone is hiding something. I'm not pissed so much as a realist. I'd rather look at a really ugly truth than try to go with a pretty lie." she said, being honest. "And you don't have to wish I hadn't gone through it. It's made me who I am, and I'm okay with who I am. No one else seems to be, but I am." she added, also being honest there. "There's really something to knowing who you are. Where you can look at yourself and sort of...strip back all the bullshit you tell everyone else, y'know? Where you just take a look, and accept the light and the dark, the ugly and the pretty all together." She quirked a half smile. "You wish I hadn't gone, I still wish you would have come with me."

"I wish I had too," Ethan said, half-smiling back at her. "I would've been able to look out for you too. You wouldn't have had to deal with so much." Since it was pretty obvious that she hadn't had something like him, someone who would rip any guy who put a hand on her to shreds. People would avoid her not because she spat at them and put metal in her face because they'd be scared of what Ethan would do to them. And he'd do a hell of a lot. "Maybe I could've have been the strong man," he said, laughing. "And Maddy could be one of those crazy tight-rope walkers."

"Maybe." December said. "But it didn't work out that way." she added. "And you stayed here, and...apparently hooked up with a gang, and now you're starting back over again. And I ran away, traveled around, and I'm starting back over again too." Interesting timing on that, she supposed. But she didn't mention it. "So I guess the real question would be if we opt to be part of each other's lives again, or if this is just a passing moment in time."

"It wasn't really a gang," Ethan said, though after a pause he shook his head. Beside the point. "Why wouldn't we? I haven't seen you in years." He frowned a bit, pulling his legs out hanging over the edge of the boardwalk. "Unless you don't want to. I mean, kind of heavy talk for reuniting. I didn't mean to dump all my shit on you."

"You didn't dump anything on me--I asked." December told him. "And I just figured I'd give you the option to go on with your life without me in it." she shrugged. "I'd rather not do that, I don't really have anyone to talk to anymore, but you've got your own life and everything I didn't want to intrude." she said, thinking that was reasonable. Or, she'd thought so, anyways.

"Not yet, I don't," Ethan said, smiling sheepishly and rubbing at the back of his neck. "I haven't really had my own life in a long time. I'm working on getting that again. Maybe we can kind of help each other figure out this whole, starting over thing." He looked at December, shrugging, smile still on his face. "I'll be around if you'll be around. As long as you don't run off with the next carnival that comes through."

She smiled. "I've seen what's over the horizon." she said, shrugging. "I don't need to see it again. I figure I'll stick around here for a while. It's got better company, either way." she noted, winking at him. "So, deal. I'll be around if you will. I'm living here...the haunted house, if you need me for anything. Whenever you get settled, let me know where it is? And I think I said it earlier, but if you need somewhere to crash sometimes, you can probably do it here just so long as it isn't long term. But if you need someplace to kind of get away for a night or so at a time, it's an option."

"The haunted house?" Ethan grinned at her, arching an eyebrow. His legs pulled out from over the overhang, it was easy to rise to his feet again, dusting his pants off as he did so. "I'm living in the tunnels right now so I guess a haunted house would be a step up. I'll keep you in mind." His grin eased off into a smile and he knelt down for a moment. "I'm glad you're okay, December." His grin came back a little and he gestured at his own mouth, where there was metal through hers. "More or less."

December smiled back at him, watching his eyes and she leaned a little closer. "I'm glad you're okay too." she told him. "And would it make you feel any better if I took them out next time I planned to see you?" she asked, smile turning much more impish at that. She even batted her eyelashes at him cutely.

"Um." Ethan flushed a bit when she got close, leaning back. "You... do whatever makes you feel better... ?" he said haltingly, standing up so that he could get his bearings. "Although I'm pretty sure you won't need them to scare off assholes if I'm around."

That had her laughing. "Yeah I'm pretty sure you're right about that." she said. Then she held her hands up towards him, so he could help her to her feet again. her break was probably well over and done with by now, but she didn't really give a damn. "So I guess we'll see if I feel like taking them all out before I see you next." She actually figured she would, though only to see if he reacted to it. She took them out occasionally anyhow, the only ones she left in were the ones on her back, and that was because she couldn't very well put those in and out on her own. The others, though, those were easy enough.

Ethan grabbed her hands and pulled her up, doing most of the work himself. He let go once she was on her feet, looking rather sheepish after more or less picking her up. "And now I'll know where to find you if you do," he said. It was nice, being able to see an old friend again, to reconnect a link in his life that he'd thought was lost and broken forever.

December watched him, giving him a light little amused smile. "You really are cute." she told him. The blushing, the little nerves he showed, the sheepishness, it all played in. It was like he managed to be innocent somehow despite everything else in his life. It was endearing. She slipped her shoes back on, which gave her a little more height, then she stepped closer, stood on her toes, and reached up to grab his shirt to tug him down a little bit so she could give him a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you around, Ethan." she promised.

Ethan was caught off guard twice there. Between her calling him cute and pulling him down so she could kiss his cheek, he was left a little flushed and blinking. Maddy was always touchy and he was utterly lovesick for her, so blushing was part of the territory there, but it was... different when someone was being more aggressive about it. And after what she'd said to him earlier, he wasn't inclined to argue with her about whether or not he was cute. He wasn't sure what to think about it. "Y-yeah," he said, gathering himself back up. "See you around." He nodded at her, smiled, and started to head off of the boardwalk... to wander around the city aimlessly for a while. He'd wonder if he'd meet another old friend, but December was the last of a small breed.