Reaching Out

When: Mid-morning
Who: Janey and Shoshannah
Where: Eidolon General

More to placate Danny than for any other reason, Janey had decided to go to the doctor about her sleeping problems. Dr. Mortimer was their family doctor, who Janey had seen during all of her pregnancies and following the miscarriages, which made it easier to talk to him as he was familiar, but hadn’t made the conversation any easier. She’d only intended to explain her sleep problems, but to be honest about that she’d had to explain the nightmares, which meant talking about the attack, and ultimately she’d ended up telling him more about everything in her life than she’d intended to--how lonely and isolated she’d been feeling and her anxiety, which had returned with a vengeance in the past few months.

He had been hesitant to prescribe anything to help her sleep, because he warned her most sedatives were fairly addictive and only a last resort. “I know the miscarriages haven’t been easy for you to deal with, and you’ve never really addressed that. I think the attacks and the stress with your husband has all compacted that, leaving you with a lot of unhealed, raw emotional wounds...” So he’d referred her to Dr. Samson, whom he said was a friend of his and a “trauma specialist”. Janey had thanked him for his time and put the card with Samson’s contact information in her purse. She was fairly certain she wouldn’t be going to see him.

Dr. Mortimer had recently transferred from St. Paul’s to Eidolon General, so it was her first time in the hospital. She thought she knew the way out from his office, but she had taken a wrong turn somewhere and instead of finding the elevator she was wandering down a narrow hallway of closed doors, trying to figure out what she’d done wrong.

One such closed door Shoshannah was exiting from. She didn't do this often because between her gallery and her father's schedule, which was really just saying that her father was more hesitant about it than she was, they were too busy to get together for lunch. However Shoshannah had managed to snag close to an hour with him for breakfast in the staff break room and she left feeling happier than before just because she'd gotten to see him a little.

As she walked, she noticed the woman a few paces away from her and how unstaff-like she looked. Doing a double take, she smiled and upped her pace, clicking in heels down the hallway. "Janey!" She said, maybe a little too loudly and winced a little as she looked around. Good, no one else around to chastise. "Janey, it's good to see you again! I hope everything is all right..." Being in hospitals didn't exactly have the same connotation for others that it did for Shoshannah.

Janey was startled to hear her name so unexpectedly, and turned around looking a bit flustered. When she saw Shoshannah coming her way she relaxed a bit and smiled, but was still perplexed to be seeing the other woman in this setting. "For the most part, but I'm a little lost," Janey admitted. "I guess I wasn't really paying attention when I came out of Dr. Mortimer's new office."

"I can show you out," Shoshannah said, smiling at Janey as she motioned for them to go the way she was headed originally. Naturally she was curious as to what Janey was doing here, but it was none of her business really and asking was beyond rude. "You didn't stray too terribly far." She opened the door for her friend with a smile, leading them down another hallway. "It really is good to see you again. I haven't seen you in so long. How are you doing?"

Janey fell into step beside Shoshannah, grateful for a guide. “Oh, things have been a little rough lately,” Janey admitted. “Danny’s job always puts him too close for comfort to all the stuff that’s been going on.” She decided to leave her own problems out of this. After all, Shoshannah’s gallery had been attacked--being a direct target that way couldn’t have left her completely untraumatized. She winced inwardly at that word. “I’ve been meaning to stop by, though,” she added. “I haven’t seen the gallery since the big reopening. How have things been for you?”

Shoshannah frowned a little. It wasn't exactly a nice thing to hear, knowing that her friend's husband was always in danger. "Must be hard," She said gently, reaching out to squeeze Janey's arm a little, then taking that moment to link arms with the woman. Maybe it was a little too much, but she considered Janey a friend and even just that was a little comforting in her mind. "Things have been better, definitely. Lots of people helped get the gallery up and running again, it's better than ever actually." Not that she had wanted to get attacked, but she'd managed to get her mind out of the dark place it had been post attack and so she wasn't trying to let herself go back there. "You're welcome any time. We'll have another showing soon, I think."

“I’ll try to be there,” Janey promised. It would be a good way to get her mind off of everything else, even if going to a showing meant having to socialize with strangers. Maybe she could convince Danny to accompany her. When Shoshannah linked arms with her, Janey was a little surprised, but then again, Shoshanna had always exuded warmth and her friendliness was a testament to that. Although Janey had a good heart, she could be a bit socially uncertain--Shoshannah certainly didn’t have that problem.

"Well, if you can make it, I'd be delighted to have you there. I'll send you an invite personally." She smiled at Janey and nodded a little. "You know what we should do? We should have lunch. Or at least coffee. Would you like to have some coffee? Catch up a little before we have to run again?" She might have had things to do today but that didn't mean she wasn't willing to spend time with Janey first.

Janey had taken off the whole day from work, not because she'd thought the appointment would take that long but because it was easier. So she had no time constraints on the rest of her day. She knew Shoshannah's offer was genuine, not just something she was saying to fill the silence. "Okay," she agreed, "but it's on me. Since you took the time to get me out of here." She gave the woman's arm a friendly squeeze.

"Getting you out of here is nothing, Janey..." She said with a little smile at her friend. "But if it's really on you, then it's on me next time." Finally getting them through the hallways, she led them towards the exit and then towards a cab. "So your choice, then, since it's your treat."

Janey directed the cab driver to take them to her favorite cafe, a small, quaint place a few blocks away from the church. “So, what were you doing at the hospital?” Janey asked. It didn’t seem inappropriate considering Shoshannah had been coming out of an office that clearly wasn’t for patients. She hoped she wasn’t crossing any boundaries with the question.

“I had breakfast with my father earlier and we were just chatting. He had an appointment to keep, though, but it was nice to see him for the time I got to.” Settling in the cab, Shoshannah smiled. She was still curious about what Janey had been doing at the hospital, but it really wasn’t her business and asking was just too rude to consider.... But she could still offer, right? “You know, if you ever wanted to talk...if anything’s going on, what with catching up with you in a hospital and all...I’m here for you.”

Janey hadn’t considered that her presence at the hospital might be alarming to Shoshannah. She certainly didn’t want Shoshannah thinking she was ill or that there was something severely wrong with her. “I...uh, thanks,” Janey said, a bit flustered as she tried to decide what to say. “It’s really nothing, I mean...obviously it’s something, you know, you don’t go to the doctor for nothing, but nothing serious,” she amended. She wasn’t sure what else to say, so she stopped and waited for Shoshannah’s response.

“It’s your business, Janey, and I don’t mean to pry into it. I just want you to know that if it is something and you want to talk about it...or even if it’s nothing and you want to talk about it...I’m all ears.” She reached over to squeeze Janey’s arm lightly, a soft smile on her lips as she did.

Janey was quiet for a minute, thinking. She and Shoshannah had very different lives--for one thing, Shannah was confident and independent, whereas Janey had never known what it meant to be either of those things. She envied the younger woman a little for that. But surely Shoshannah had dealt with some fear and anger after the attack. On that level maybe they could relate. “Can I ask you something, then?” Janey said.

Shoshannah sat a little straighter at that, attention all on Janey. “Of course,” She said, waiting for whatever the question might be. If it was something she could help Janey with, then by all means she was going to do just that.

“How did you...adjust...after the attack? How did you keep from being overwhelmed by fear?” Janey spoke slowly at first, pausing, trying to find the right words. What if Shoshannah just said she hadn’t been scared? What if Janey was alone?

That caught Shoshannah off guard and dulled the brightness she'd had before as she thought about it. "With help from friends. A lot of help." She looked down at her hands, the thoughts and images of the attack coming back to her. The bruises she'd had, the injuries others had had. Roy shooting someone and getting blamed for other things because of it. "It took a long time. Sometimes I'm still afraid that another attack could happen because it just..made no sense. But I realized after a while, after being angry, that it wasn't going to help. That I needed to be myself again, for myself, and not wallow in those feelings."

Janey saw Shoshannah's expression darken. "I'm sorry," she said, immediately regretting her question. "I didn't mean to bring up bad memories." She took Shoshannah's hand and gave a cautious squeeze.

Shoshannah shook her head a little, giving Janey a smile back and a mirroring squeeze. “It’s fine, it happened and there’s no use in not talking about it. But why did you want to know?”

“I’ve never exactly been emotionally stable,” Janey began. By never, she really meant since she’d married Danny and had her first miscarriage. “Being present at the attack at the park really shook me up, and has brought back to mind some other painful events in the past,” she explained.

Shannah's dark mood didn't exactly lighten at hearing that. That was heavy stuff there, heavy enough to make her frown and reach to hold Janey's hand again. "Oh Janey...I'm so sorry to hear that." She watched Janey's face and frowned a little more. "But I hope that those thoughts won't last forever. I hope you find something that can help you move out of them. I'm here to help you if I can; anything I can do I'd be happy to do."

“I could use a friend,” Janey admitted. Especially with the distance she had been feeling with Danny. She’d always had acquaintances and gotten along well with people, but never really had close friends. Maybe that could change. “I certainly enjoy your company, as rarely as I’m honored to share it.”

Shoshannah's heart went out to Janey. She hated seeing so much hurt in someone. Just the sound of her voice was enough for Shoshannah to want to do anything she could to help. "Janey, you have me. If you ever need anything, please call me. I'd be there, just call me."

Janey’s heart swelled at the gentleness in Shoshannah’s voice. Just then, the cab jerked to a stop in front of the cafe. “Thank you. Shall we continue this over coffee?” Or tea, which she preferred.

Giving Janey a little nod, Shoshannah reached in her purse for cab fare and a tip then slipped out, holding the door open for Janey. "Let's," She said gently, giving Janey an encouraging smile. Right now, this was the least Shannah could do.