remembrance 3-31

~ writing numbers in the fog on my window, to be sure he could read them while not looking in that direction. He passed. I don't remember the numbers.

~ I get a little tingling sort of rush when I very first start to sing, that overtakes a pinch of some unidentifiable emotion that always sets in just as I take the stage.

~ my screams never echoed in my quarters where I was killed--I'd had the room soundproofed years before so I didn't have to concern myself with secrets leaking from eavesdroppers.

~ a sapphire anklet, white gold setting, I don't know where it went. I really liked that one.

~ being curled up in the tub at Grey's house, waiting for Brett to get back, but I don't know when it was or how long I waited.

~ the view out the living room windows in our apartment.

~ the first time he kissed me. it was on the neck, he was stopping me from leaving when there was a killer on the loose in the city. he was upset. someone had been killed, i don't remember who.

~ I would spend my time doing house work in his apartment, as I waited for him to get home. I always felt better when he got there, even if all we did was argue. I hated when he left me alone there.

I meant this to be a simple list, something to fill my time with and I see what I'm doing. It's about him. Or it is for the most part. I miss him. I don't want to forget him. I hate thinking I might, that things will slip. I feel like I need to write it down, but I have nowhere to start. Guess I'll just go for random things, then. Maybe a little at a time. I don't give a damn about anything else that fades, anyway.

~ I remember him pushing me over in the pitch black, and I hadn't known there was a mattress there to catch my fall.

~ 'twisted bitch'