sacred spaces

Who: Dodge and Maddy
When: Early Evening
Where: Around Town

Shopping with Elle had been soothing. Very soothing. The morning had gone well. The day had been -- still was -- beautiful and Maddy was so tired of the cold and the wind and the snow. She just hadn’t exactly realized how upset she’d been over her conversation with Jessie the other day. Things with Roy had been nice. Calm and simple and just peaceful. And Elle had been sweet and wonderful and Maddy hadn’t realized how upset she’d been feeling until she started to hang up her new clothes on a spare rail in the attic. She had cried a little bit. Sort of. She had felt like it, certainly, and she wasn’t sure whether or not to feel angry about that.

So there Maddy was, walking down the street in the still warm glow of the afternoon. Her pink-gloved hands absently played with the loops of pearls around her neck as she walked, wondering what to do this Saturday evening. The fact that she wasn’t paying attention was, as usual, what would get her into trouble. So when the guy stepped in front of her at the mouth of the alley she was cutting through, Maddy didn’t notice until he grabbed her shoulder.

“You look lost, sweetheart,” the guy said. He wasn’t that much older than her, with floppy but nicely kept blond hair. Clean clothes, a little worn maybe, but it wasn’t a street kid. At least, Maddy was pretty sure and considering the amount of street kids she knew, she was confident.

She was also calm, despite the spike of nervousness that shot through her and Maddy tilted her chin up, staring at him coolly. “Get your hand off of me before I break it.”

The guy just smirked though and Maddy’s hand went to her pocket... only to remember that she didn’t have pockets in her dress. And no pocket meant no switchblade. “You’re fiesty, aren’t you?” he asked, his grip tightening a little bit on her shoulder as he guided them a couple steps back into the alley. “Such a pretty girl, too. How about you come out to this party? It’ll be fun.” The request was meant to be sweet, but the tone of his voice was hitting all of Maddy’s sore points and she shook her head, barely flinching when he grabbed her hand to look at her gloves. “Why’re you wearing these?”

Dodge wasn’t quite in a bad mood, but he certainly wasn’t in a good one either. His tantrum with Jessie had set bad thoughts swirling in his head despite her attempts to cheer him up. For that sake he was avoiding the alleys, taking the long way home that didn’t drag him through the shadows. The voices in the alley next to him caught his attention though, as did the familiar shock of blond hair that stood out despite the falling shadows.

In a few steps Dodge slipped up behind the guy, silent in his movements, swiftly catching the boy at the collar of his shirt, tugging back just enough. “You best keep your hands off what isn’t yours.” The whisper was low and dark, and between the evening dusk and the fedora, Dodge’s face was completely in shadow.

Maddy swallowed. She hadn’t heard Dodge come up and wasn’t expecting the guy to be pulled off of her. She’d never heard Dodge’s voice like that and Maddy took a step back, not wanting to get caught between anything.

The guy looked caught off guard too but he got himself composed and shrugged away from Dodge. “She’s not wearing a sign,” he said pretty calmly, his body language shifting, like he was getting ready for a fight. “So back off, asshole.”

“He’s my boyfriend,” Maddy snapped in quickly, regaining her senses. She looked between Dodge and the guy again. Her shoulder hurt, red marks where his hand gripped and Maddy knew there would be bruises, but she was nervous, not wanting Dodge to get into a fight on her account. “So just leave, okay?”

“She doesn’t need a goddmaned sign,” Dodge said, not turning to look at Maddy, but rather closing in on the guy. “You touch her again and you’ll wish you were dead.” Part of Dodge realized that this was more dangerous than usual because he was on his own, but he couldn’t care less.

The guy, who maybe only had an inch or two on Dodge, backed away, the tone of Dodge’s voice showing that he was no one to mess with. He looked at the two of them, taking another step back before scowling and heading off. Maddy watched him go, finally reaching up to rub her shoulder, feeling like the bruises were already blossoming. It had been awhile since something like that happened, where she’d actually felt scared and she looked down at her dress. She ran her fingers over her skirt, brushing away wrinkles before leaning against the dirty brick wall of the alley. She looked up at Dodge, bangs falling in her big blue eyes. She was shaking a little bit. “Thanks,” she said softly.

Dodge’s skin was prickling a little from the adrenaline running through his veins. His fists and jaw were clenched as he watched the little bastard walk away. It wasn’t until Maddy spoke that he turned back towards her, hands releasing a little. “You alright?” The darkness in his tone had lifted but he hardly sounded soft.

Maddy felt like flinching at the sound of his voice and how he sounded but she didn’t. Instead, Maddy nodded, rolling her shoulder to try relieve the pins and needles feeling from the grab. She was annoyed at herself for not being able to fight back. “Are you okay?” she asked quietly, because he was still standing there all tense.

He nodded in response not sure what else to do until she rolled her shoulder like that and he moved closer, seeing the red marks already there. “I’m fine,” he told her brushing his thumb across the damage lightly. “Just a bad cloud in my head. What are you doing out? You know better than to cut through alleys in the night.” The urge to hit something was starting to ease, but it was being replaced by a familiar laughter in the back of his mind.

She shivered a little when he brushed her shoulder and Maddy breathed slowly, calming herself down. “I was taking a shortcut. I was bored so I was going to look for something to do. Trying to get out of my head, I guess.” She smiled a little at him, reaching up to cup his cheek. She stroked her thumb gently across his cheekbone, looking concerned. “What’s wrong?”

Dodge leaned into her hand a little, enjoying the attention. “Just lay off the alleys in the dark,” he warned, though it wasn’t as stern as it normally would have been. “Just bad memories. What’s got you wanting out of your head?”

She nodded at his warning with a little sigh but she didn’t roll her eyes like she wanted to. “Boredom, mostly.” There were so many things she wanted to say but she didn’t. Everything was too fragile. She’d made an agreement. Maddy would just have to suck it up. She kept stroking his cheek, as if she could pull out the dark cloud from his head that way. “No one to hang around with. I was going to sit in the park maybe.” She was still shaking lightly, a combination of coming down from her nerves and the coolness in the shadows of the alley.

Dodge let her stay like that, hand there for a moment before he reached up and caught her hand in his, pulling it from his face a little. “Park sounds nice,” he told her, as he started in that direction. His plan had been to head home, catch up with the boys he’d ignored to spend time with Jessie, but spending time with Maddy overshadowed that now that she was here.

Maddy went with him, leaning her head against his arm as they walked. For awhile she could just pretend that everything was absolutely okay. That nothing was wrong at all. They were two perfectly normal teenagers on a nice walk around town. She gripped his hand tighter, tilting her head to look back at him. “So what did you do today?” she asked.

“Today?” he asked, wondering how exactly he was supposed to answer that one when she didn’t want to know about anyone else. “Just spent some time with a friend,” he finally settled on. “We were up at that old gents club over on the west side of town, tried our hand at coaxing some old folks out of their cash with a game or two of pool.”

There was a definite flash of something in Maddy’s eyes as she thought about who that ‘friend’ might be but she only smiled at him and looked away in the direction they were walking. “I went shopping with Elle. Got some clothes. What do you think about me changing my hair color?”

“Oh yeah?” Dodge said, ignoring that look in her eyes. He could guess what that meant. “Get anything nice?” he asked, slipping his hand out of hers so he could put his arm around her and tangle his fingers in her hair. “I dunno, I like this color.”

She nestled close against his side, that smile still on her face. Keep pretending, that’s what she told herself. And she could pretend. Maddy figured she was quite good at that. “I was thinking dark brown... maybe black. The whole blonde hair and blue eyes thing makes me look too much like a little girl, I think. Or at least, makes it harder to convince people that I am, in fact, almost an adult.” Maddy shrugged, thoughtful.

Dodge frowned a little, looking down at her hair wrapped around his fingers, such a pretty almost white color against the darkness of his slightly dirty hand. “I like this color though,” he repeated. “I think you look plenty old Maddy, why do you want to look older?”

“Plenty of reasons. Easier to do my job, for one,” she pointed out. “I need a change for another. I was thinking about looking for a decent wig. Give it a test run, you know?” She pinched his side a bit, teasing. “Come on, Dodge. You’re not the only one who wants to pull off the looking older trick.” The thought that maybe he’d like her better, that maybe he’d stay with her if she looked older had in fact crossed her mind, but that was yet another thing Maddy was refusing to think about. She was under no circumstances desperate or head over heels or anything ridiculous.

The frown didn’t fade, but at the same time it didn’t deepen. “I like you how you are,” he told her, hoping that was the right thing to say. She was talking about changing things which made him wonder if she meant changing him too. He led the way into an open part of the park, one of the only places that didn’t get completely bombarded by the lowest scum of the city.

The park was quiet this close to dusk. It was, after all, still January and the temperature was cooling a little bit. There were still people around, holding onto the last vestiges of the perfect day, however Dodge and Maddy were quite on their own as they walked the path. It was peaceful and she could pretend it was just them walking on their own with no one around. Their own bubble where everything was perfect. Sure the trees were still skeletal and there were no chirping of birds. It was still nice.

She didn’t say anything at first, biting on her lower lip as she thought about that. And Dodge wasn’t saying anything else and she wondered if he meant anything else by it, or if he simply did like her the way she was. “I’m not a pretty little girl, right?” she asked finally, her voice very quiet. “I’m beautiful, right?” And even though Dodge would most likely lie about it (because that’s what they did to make themselves feel better like that), she still wanted to hear it. She needed to know she wasn’t a pretty little girl because... she just did not like being called that.

“Of course you are,” Dodge told her without hesitation, making his way to a bench. “I don’t know what’s wrong with being a pretty girl though as well.” He was pretty certain he’d called her that at some point. It was pretty standard pet name for him after all. He sat down on the bench, legs stretched in front of him, arm across the back of the bench.

“Because I usually hear it from people I’d rather not,” she told him with a little raise of an eyebrow. Usually meaning that it wasn’t always the case and she didn’t want to say that he had called her that, or that dirty old men usually called her that. “My brother used to call me Morning Star. I don’t hear the term ‘beautiful’ very often.” She didn’t sit down beside him, liking being taller than him for a little while. “I mean, I do know that I’m the most beautiful creature in creation, but it’s different when you hear it.” She shrugged her shoulders, the one that was grabbed still aching a little bit.

“Am I in that group?” he asked curiously, reaching one hand out for her, coaxing her to come to him. “Morning Star huh? That’s sweet. Last sign of twilight before dawn.” Dodge smiled, the first honest one since he’d run into her. “So beautiful it is then, anything to make you happy.” He meant that, wanting to keep her happy. Happy and his.

She looked at the pale pink gloves she wore, that matched her dress so well and considered taking them off before reaching for his hand. She didn’t though, unsure, but took his hand anyway and allowed him to tug her in a little closer until her knees bumped against the bench. She returned his smile with a sweet, brilliant one of her own, pleased to see his smile after he’d been so bummed earlier. “You’re not in that group, promise, handsome” she assured him, a slight tease there as she paid him back for calling her beautiful. Maddy reached out with her free hand to tip the brim of his fedora up so she could see his face better.

“Good,” he breathed coaxing her in closer again, even though she was already against the bench. He wanted her to come to him, but he had no issues with giving her the opportunity, with letting her know that it was what he wanted. “Haven’t seen you in a little while. Did you miss me?” In fact he hadn’t seen her since the night of the storm.

Maddy bit her lower lip coyly, leaning against his legs now. One hand still held his and the other reached out to grip his shoulder to keep her balance. She liked the game. It was fun, this push pull to see who would give in first and it was nice to see that Dodge had no problem showing his hand. “Perhaps,” she told him softly, her sweet smile softening. She had missed him a bit. He hadn’t been there when she’d woken up and had her absolute freak out with Pepper. “Did you miss me?” It had been odd not to see him for this long, especially after, well, everything. It had made her a little nervous actually.

“What’s it to you, if I did miss you?” Dodge asked, keeping up the game. His free hand came up to catch her about the waist, pulling her closer again. If he was anyone else, this wouldn’t feel right, especially after the day he’d had with Jessie, after what he’d told her. But to Dodge, these moments with Maddy were completely unrelated to his moments with Jessie. Maddy was his, and Jessie was a girl he liked. Two completely different, unrelated situations.

She slid into his lap, fitting snuggly against his chest as she shifted around to get comfortable. She liked it, even if the comment stung a little bit. She knew it was a game. She knew he thought it was a game, but he wasn’t the one who had the thought that they might be a slut. “Because I’m a curious girl whose nosy?” she offered, keeping that soft smile on her face. That night had been strange. Incredibly nice but strange at the same time.

Dodge let her settle in again him, one hand trailing up her back and the other kept his grip on hers. He rested his chin on her head, breathing in the closeness of her. “How could I not miss you beautiful?”

That was definitely something Maddy liked to hear and she turned her head to drop a kiss on his neck, since he was resting his chin on her head. “I might have felt the same way then,” she murmured.

“Good,” he breathed, tilting his head to rest his cheek against her head. He liked hearing that as well, that he was missed. He didn’t doubt it, but it didn’t mean the reassurance was a bad thing.

Maddy still smiled to herself and let herself relax against his chest more, getting comfortable and she watched a few kids play a pick up game of football a ways away. “I’m glad you stayed the night,” she said quietly. He’d of course been gone when she woke up. He usually snuck out while she slept and she wanted him to know that she appreciated him staying, not leaving right after everything. That he stayed. That she liked that he stayed.

Dodge chuckled a little, a noise that rumbled in his chest. “You’re the one who asked me to,” he teased lightly, pressing a small kiss against her hair. He hadn’t left because of her though, there were things to do and his schedule had to be kept, as nice as it was to stay with her. That morning, he’d almost not left, he’d been so comfortable.

She rolled her eyes even though he couldn’t see it, but didn’t argue with him. Just because she asked didn’t mean he had to stay. They both knew that. She looked down at their hands, contemplating taking off her gloves but they were in public and she didn’t want to do that. “Maybe... Well, next time you stay, I’ll treat you to breakfast,” she offered, leaving it open if he ever chose to spend the night again.

“Breakfast huh?” Dodge asked leaning back some so he could see her face this time. Next time? That almost sounded like an invitation. As nice as it sounded, he wasn’t sure what the right move was when it came to that kind of offer.

Maddy shifted when he leaned back, looking back at him calmly from under her lashes. “I like doing nice things,” she said simply with an easy shrug. She leaned her head over, dropping a kiss on his mouth as she turned around so she could look at him better. “I just know that, well, I liked it.” She blushed a bit and shrugged again. “I’m pretty sure you liked it and if you ever stayed the night again... it would be... nice. If you were interested anyway.”The smile she gave him was still a bit shy, but a bit mischievous as well.

He let her drop that small kiss, but after she was done talking he leaned in for another, taking this kiss slower, longer. “I did like it,” he breathed when he finally pulled away. He wasn’t sold on staying past dawn but he’d consider it.

“You did, did you?” she whispered, not quite coy as she leaned forward to kiss him again, short and sweet to see if he’d come back for another one. It didn’t matter if he ended up staying past dawn or not. She just wanted him to know that she wouldn’t mind if he did.

“Of course,” he told her, brushing his fingers against her cheek. “Did you?” His eyes were questioning, wanting to know that being with him made her happy.

Maddy nodded slowly. “Yeah, I liked it a lot.” It was getting dark as the evening descended and she was just wearing her thin sleeveless dress and she shivered, nestling back against him without thinking. Just that he was warm. “Maybe you could stay tonight? For a little while at least?” She wasn’t go admit that earlier had gotten her nerves rattled, and she just didn’t want to be on her own. The sound of Dodge’s voice still unnerved her, but she felt safe.

That she shivered didn’t go missed, and awkward as it was, Dodge untangled himself long enough to shimmy out of his coat and drape it across her shoulders. Staying tonight would throw off his plans for the evening, but it made sense, especially since he’d seen the hint of bruising already starting on her shoulder. “I could do that I think. At least until you fall asleep.”

She shoved her arms through the sleeves of his jacket and pulled it tightly closed. “Thanks,” she told him, smiling a little. She reached up and brushed some of his curly hair off his forehead. At least he seemed to understand. Maddy looked back at where those boys had been playing earlier and found them slowly departing and she looked at Dodge curiously, wondering what he wanted to do but not wanting to be the one to suggest anything. She was quite content to stay there in his arms on the bench, but she wouldn’t mind a walk, or going to her place, or another place, or anything.

As relaxing as the park could be during the day or in twilight, it was hardly the place to be at night. With darkness pressing in Dodge knew it was time to move. “C’mon,” he told Maddy, lifting her up from his lap and setting her on the ground before he stood. “Let’s get home before it gets cold again.”

Maddy grabbed his hand instinctively, falling in close beside him as they walked, feeling on edge. She wouldn’t normally but it had been a weird night already. The wind picked up a bit as the sun continued it’s way past the horizon and she pushed her hair out of her mouth, just trying to focus on Dodge beside her. “Do you ever think about your parents?” she asked suddenly.

He’d been in his own little world, trying to avoid thinking about how holding Maddy’s hand was different and yet the same as holding Jessie’s hand earlier. “My parents?” Dodge asked, surprised at the question. Maybe he hadn’t heard her right.

“Yeah,” Maddy nodded. She knew that Dodge hadn’t seen his parents in years. She knew they’d been out of the picture long before she met him but mentioning her brother’s nickname for her earlier had gotten her thinking about things. Did Dodge have any lost siblings out there like her? Were his parents still alive? “Do you ever think about them?”

Dodge considered that for a moment, playing it over in his head. “No not really. I don’t know them, never did. Been on my own my whole life until...” How had he wound up on that same damn topic twice today. “Well you know. Before that though nothing. I think they were gypsies.” Or that was the best guess he had. His hair was the give away, some old lady had told him once. The dark curls were gypsy hair.

When he trailed off, Maddy squeezed his hand to show him that she understood and that she was there. “Gypsies, huh? That’s pretty cool. I didn’t think there were gypsies here in Eidolon.” Then again, Maddy’s whole basis of gypsies was based upon books and plays which, while entertaining, weren’t exactly realistic. “Did you ever get sent to the orphanage?”

“Don’t know if there have been since. You think they’d come back if they lost their son though huh?” Dodge asked, trying not to sound bitter. He’d managed just fine without parents. There was not need to focus on the fact that they’d not wanted him, no matter who he was. “No, no time behind bars. Managed well enough until it wasn’t a concern.”

Maddy squeezed his hand again, catching the faint bitterness there. She wanted to say something but wasn’t sure what to say and so she just settled on the simple action of being there. Exiting the park, they turned left down the road, the street lamps flickering to life as they walked. There were still people out, catching cabs like it was summer, not the middle of winter. “Mine died on my birthday,” she stated quietly. “I was four. I remember my mother braiding my hair too tight and having to go to church but I didn’t want to because I wanted to play.” She could remember small details. How the house smelled like cake that morning and she got to have funny shaped pancakes for breakfast.

“I’m sorry Mads,” Dodge said softly, imaging it was hard to lose a parent like that. He’d never had a birthday, not even with Patrick. Hell, Dodge wasn’t even sure when his birthday was supposed to be. He knew he was ten when Patrick took him in and then they’d used the date from when they met to count up the years.

“We didn’t have any candles for the birthday cake,” she said, resting her head on his arm. “So Jack and I went and got some. I remember everyone shouting about how fast the fire happened. How it was weird. And they sent us to the orphanage and I remember for weeks after that, Jack wouldn’t let me go. We just sat on his bed all the time and he’d say weird things.” Her memory got a little fuzzy there. The things that Jack said didn’t make much sense. Maddy was sure she’d remembered them wrong, or maybe Jack himself just hadn’t been making sense. “It’s alright. It’s not your fault.” She kissed his arm, easier since they were walking.

“What kind of weird things?” Dodge asked, avoiding the topic of dead parents with something that didn’t seem right. He felt bad that he still hadn’t found her brother yet, even though he’d promised to.

Maddy was quiet at his question. Partly because it took a moment to make sense of it as they were passing a small bar and the other because she was trying to make clear the memory. Jack had kept her by his side that whole month and the nuns had allowed it. She’d only been four and their parents had died horribly. They would sit where ever they were told to go. Church, the yard, the common room. They would sit and he would hold her and she would cry sometimes but she remembered wanting to play with the other children and he wouldn’t let her. They were both nice and confusing all at the same time. “That things weren’t supposed to be like this,” she said finally. “That he wasn’t going to let anyone take me away. I was all his. The plan wasn’t meant to go this way. Things like that. And he kept telling me he was sorry everything happened like that.”

Dodge couldn’t help but frown at that. He’d been hoping to avoid a tough topic and found himself stumbling into a tougher one. “All his? And what plan?” He doubted Maddy remembered, but there was something completely not right about that, something that sounded wildly off, even for a brother comforting his sister.

“It’s weird but it makes sense, I guess. A lot of people wanted to adopt me, you know?” She remembered the constant parading on Open Houses, being used to get people in to take a look at the orphans to give them homes. Her hair over brushed and over curled. The dresses over starched to perfection. “And our parents had died and who would want to adopt a 16 year old kid? We’d be separated. I think he was sorry that we ended up in the orphanage. That no other kin of ours came to claim us.” She stepped away a little, still holding his hand as she moved to walk backwards in front of him so she could smile gently at him. “You know, how I’m yours and you’d hate to lose me?” That’s how it made sense in her head. There was always someone around who claimed her in some way. Which is why she cherished the friendship with Roy. He didn’t make claims on her, but she knew that he’d still look out for her. And perhaps that’s why, despite his warnings, Maddy stayed with Dodge. Because he wasn’t going to hold back. He was going to say -- to her or anyone else -- that she belonged to him. And maybe that wasn’t exactly right (Maddy understood that logically), but it didn’t mean it wasn’t a comfort.

“I don’t think it’s the same,” Dodge started, questioning look on his face while he walked. A large part of that didn’t sit well, but he wasn’t entirely sure why. “You shouldn’t really compare this to your relationship with your brother.” What they’d been up to had been hardly fraternal after all.

Maddy pulled a face, laughing lightly at his own look. “Oh, God no. That’s not what I mean at all. I just meant... well, I was yours before this.” She had been, she was certain of that and so that’s why she was saying that. That she’d always been one of his. It was just sort of different now. She had thought Dodge would understand that. “And that’s the only way I can describe the things he said to me in a way they make sense to you. To me too, I guess.” The laughter had died a bit and she looked concerned now, a little unsure. “Did I say something wrong?” It was like walking on hot coals. She was nervous that she’d said something wrong and he’d go away. And she hated being nervous. She loathed it, but she’d just fixed things between them and she didn’t want him to go away again.

Dodge still didn’t understand or feel comfortable about it, but he didn’t want her looking concerned as well. “No, you didn’t say anything wrong,” he told her trying to smile through it. The Jack thing he’d deal with later. “Promise. I was just confused. I think I got it now.” He reached out with the hand that wasn’t holding hers and touched her cheek briefly.

She was still doubtful but he was smiling a bit at her and Maddy smiled back at him. Even if he didn’t mean it, she did and she didn’t like him seeming troubled. “Anyway, I’m going to stop looking for him. At least for now.” She tugged their joined hands and she fell back in step beside him as they continued walking down the street. “Cause if he cared about me, if he meant anything he said about never leaving, then, you know... it’s been awhile. He could’ve found me. I’m not the best at keeping a low profile. So whatever. It doesn’t matter anymore anyway.” Dodge had said as much when talking about his own parents. And it all hearkened back to her trying to do things that made her happy. Dodge made her happy. Most of the time. And Roy was right. If Jack wanted to find her, he could have. It was that simple.

“Are you calling me off looking for him too then?” Dodge asked, feeling for the first time like he might be just fine with that. Something about this guy worried him, something about the whole thing worried him. Who else did Maddy need in her life anyway? Her family had let her down, just as his had, but they were street kids, resilient and capable of making their own families.

“Keep your ears open still, but...” Maddy exhaled slowly. She hadn’t thought about it, really. She hadn’t drawn her brother in days. She hadn’t thought of how Dodge had people keeping their eyes and ears out for any mention of Jack Keyes. She was frowning, a look of concentration on her delicate face as they walked down the little alley to the side door of the theater. She stared at the door, not quite able to reach out and grab the handle. “I should have you call it off,” she said quietly, very unsure about that. “It’s the appropriate thing to do.” Did she want that though?

“We’ll do whatever you want Maddy, just say the word,” Dodge told her, reaching past her to open the door to the theater. There was no use in standing outside in the dropping temperature. Now that the situation had a new light to it, Dodge wasn’t sure if he would be calling off the search, but he might change the intent. He wanted to meet this cat before he brought Maddy her brother back.

Maddy went inside, the sounds of actors practicing on stage drifting back to them and Maddy put a finger to her lips as she went to a little table and grabbed the hurricane lamp. Lighting it, she nodded for him to follow her up the stairs to the attic. “I just... what if he doesn’t remember me, you know? Like, there was some kind of accident and he lost his memory and that’s why he hasn’t found me.” She opened the attic door, leading the way in to see if anyone had crept up there and was waiting for her in the shadows. “I know that it hurts, not finding him, and that it’s been years, but... I don’t know.” Finding no one, Maddy put the lamp on her make shift night table and took of his jacket, laying it on the bed for him and went to put away the pearl necklace she was wearing. “It’s right to think that though, right? He’s twelve years older than I am. He would have an easier time finding a way to find me and he hasn’t. So I shouldn’t feel bad in giving up?”

He followed her up the stairs, closing the door behind them as he went in. Instead of crossing the room towards her he lingered at the door, leaning back against it. “It’s a pretty valid point yes, that he should have been able to find you easily, but he’s not been easy to find either. Maybe he’s really out of the loop, way off the beaten path. Go with your gut Maddy, do what feels right.” Dodge shrugged.

And when I do that, look where I end up, she thought, closing the jewellery box and looking at him. The light barely reached him and Maddy walked over the the dressing table and flicked the switch, the light bulbs glowing to dim life. “Keep an ear out but... you can stop any active searching,” she said finally, looking away from him to the mirror to see the bruising on her shoulder. There was the bruise of a thumb on the front of her shoulder, more fingerprints on the back and she sighed, rubbing her face. “I don’t think he’s ever going to come back, Dodge.” She thought about her plan to go in the tunnels, that maybe he would be there. Did she still want to do something like that?

With the lights coming on, most of the shadows of the room were dispersed, but that didn’t give Dodge reason to move. He wasn’t sure where to go, or what do to exactly so he opted for sticking with what made him comfortable, leaning against the door. “I can do that,” he told her nodding. Her last comment gave him pause, and had him worried. “And if he doesn’t? What then?”

Her hands were trembling as she undid the little button on her gloves, taking them off and tossing them onto the dressing table. She wanted a drink badly and wondered how much alcohol she had left. She really didn’t want to answer that question. Maddy couldn’t even look at Dodge. “I really did miss you,” she said. “Before.” Before the other night. Before when he’d walked away and left her sobbing in an alley in the cold. She flinched a bit when she said it, not wanting to admit that. Maddy really did not want to admit that but it was the only thing she could find to say.

She’d dodged his question, but he didn’t call her out on it. “I told you Mads, if you don’t give me a reason to I’m not going anywhere.” Still, Dodge stayed by the door. She hadn’t given him a reason to close the space between them, hadn’t show him that it was him she wanted.

“Then why are you standing over there like you’re ready to leave?” she asked. She was calm, not hysterical like she felt like being. Dodge agreed that she should stop looking for Jack too and Maddy felt so much better about that. That it wasn’t just Roy being logical in that way he had that meant sometimes it made things suck even more.

“Hard to open the door when I’m leaning against it isn’t it? And what if I was over here to barricade the thing? Keep all the unwanted out,” Dodge teased as pushed away from his perch. “‘Sides, it’s not like you seemed to want me anywhere but where I was.”

“So you’re mine to do with as I please?” she asked, her voice teasing him right back. It was as simple as that. He was able to just brighten her mood with a change of subject and a lighthearted tone. She pulled off her shoes and walked over to him, reaching out to play with his tie as she came up to him. “I do like the idea of you guarding my door. It’s very sweet of you.”

“That I didn’t say,” Dodge corrected giving her a mocking frown. When she came closer and took his tie, Dodge couldn’t help but smile a little. “I can go back to the door if you like then,” he said, softer this time, as he took a step back, one step closer to the door.

“It was certainly implied,” Maddy said, a serious little expression her face and she took a step forward as he stepped back. Her hand still held onto his tie, wrapping it and unwrapping it around her bare hand. “You’re very brave, you know,” she complimented. “Brave man at my beck and call. It’s nice.”

“Man huh?” Dodge asked with a quirked smile. How many times had he been told he was a boy? Hadn’t Jesse just given him some sort of speech about respecting elders or some other such nonsense. He stepped away again, playfulness spread across his features, tempting her to follow.

“You have responsibilities, don’t you?” she asked, tugging at his tie in protest. She didn’t move closer even though she knew that he wanted her to. “You take care of people. I’m pretty sure that makes you a man.” All of the street kids who had to grow up too fast. “And you’re gonna be eighteen. That makes you a legal adult too.” Maddy licked her lips a little, cocking her head to the side. “Brave, brave man you are. Thanks for helping me out earlier.”

“That’s what I keep saying,’ Dodge said with a smile as if his wards were the least of his problems. “Not eighteen yet. That one they definitely keep reminding me of.” When she didn’t come towards him he reached out for her, hand brushing her hair back a little. “You know you don’t have to thank me,” he told her, voice even softer, playfulness mostly gone. “I should have been there sooner.” His other hand drifted towards the bruises showing up on her shoulder. Why did he let her out of his sight ever?

Maddy stepped closer to him, her free hand hooking on a belt loop. “You got there all the same,” she murmured. “I could’ve handled it, but he caught me off guard... you were there in the end. That’s all that matters to me.” She looked up at him gently, her hand moving up from his tie to rest on his shoulder. “It’s funny, you know. I was looking for you actually. I was thinking maybe we should go do something because I was bored and there you were.” A smile twitched on her lips, peaceful and soft. Trying to comfort him again.

When she came closer Dodge slipped his arms around her waist, one hand sliding up her back just a little. “I know you could have handled it, but you shouldn’t have to.” He knew what she was doing, saying what he wanted to hear and stroke his ego, but he let her do it. What could he say? He liked it. “What did you have in mind for us to do if you’d found me?”

She shivered as his hand trailed up her back and she continued to smile at him softly. “Oh, I dunno,” she murmured, trailing her fingers down from his shoulder over his vest. “I was thinking movies actually. Steal us some snacks.” She really did mean it when she said she was glad he had been there. “Maybe we could do the double feature for my birthday.” She actually never did things with friends for her birthday, another secret she kept next to her name. Steal herself some pastries and feast in her room before getting drunk and passing out was the normal fare. This year she wanted to do something different.

“That sounds fun,” Dodge commented trailing his hand up her back a little higher. “Your birthday? Is that coming up?” He frowned a little realizing that he didn’t have any idea when her birthday was. He imagined that was something important.

“February sixth,” she told him, shivering again. He was frowning and she went up on the balls of her feet to kiss it away. “I figure maybe it’s time to celebrate with other people now that I’ll be sixteen. You know, sharing events of your life with the people you have left. I think that’s what you’re supposed to do.”

Dodge nodded, remembering the date. He leaned into her kiss a little, trying to make it last a little longer than she might. “A sweet sixteen party then? That sounds fun.” Though if they had an actual party she’d want to invite Roy and Roy still annoyed the piss out of Dodge. Though he could possibly be convinced to not walk into the situation ready to punch the punk. He wasn’t going to make any promises about not actually punching the kid, but he wouldn’t plan on it.

Maddy shook her head. “I don’t think I’d be able to pull off much of a party,” she said, kissing him again. It was a little longer this time, picking up on him trying to deepen it before. “I just mean, you know, maybe it’s okay to tell people now and share it and stuff.” The idea of a party sounded nice if she knew that everyone would get along -- and that there’d actually be many people to invite. But there wasn’t anywhere to hold a party anyway, and she just didn’t think it was worth seeing the people she cared about getting into fights.

“Maybe we’ll just stay in then,” Dodge told her, holding her face in his hands. He smiled lightly for a moment, thumbs brushing across her cheeks before he pulled her in close to kiss her again.

Maddy’s lips were trembling slightly as he pulled her in for another kiss. Her fingers hooked in his belt loop tightened, her other hand, pale and slim, gripped at his vest. The kiss was soft, Maddy nervous this time around to deepen it. Her toes curled against the chilly wooden floor of the attic and she sighed softly against his lips. She used the grip on his vest to pull him down a little and pushed up on the balls of her feet again. He was entirely too tall and it was a little bit awkward. Maddy was a tiny thing, barely over five feet and while Dodge wasn’t a towering giant, he was still a lot taller to begin with.

Dodge let his hands drop from her face, catching her around the waist as he pulled her in closer to him. If she was worried about deepening their kiss, he certainly was not, and he did just that, pouring a little more passion into it. In the back of his mind something twitched, a flash of Jessie and the confession he’d laid on her today, but he deftly ignored it. There was still a difference between the girls. This? This was because Maddy belonged to him, because he’d saved her today.

Her arms came up to loop around his neck, letting him pull her closer. She felt lightheaded and giddy, and with his lead, she let him deepen the kiss, returning it with as much fervor as he was. On her tip toes, she guided him back another step but it was difficult when she was all but hanging off of him. Pepper’s warnings were in her mind but Dodge was here. Dodge had come back like he promised he would. He promised he would always come back and she’d wait for him and there he was. “What do you want?” she murmured against his mouth when they broke for air. Maddy was breathing heavily and she rested her forehead against his nose. “You came back so what do you want?” Because part of her was really quite sure that Dodge knew that she’d met JJ. She’d pissed the girl off terribly. And the other part of her knew that she should say something, put a stop to it but she was the one who set the terms of the agreement so she couldn’t really say anything about it. Dodge was flighty and the grip she had on him was tenuous so she tried to be careful. So when Maddy tilted her head back to look at him, the smile she gave him was sweet, cheeks flushed, her eyes certainly sad but willing to do whatever it was that he wanted.

Dodge breathed heavily as his back hit the door behind him. It didn’t hurt, but it was strange, finding something so solid when he was starting to feel a little lightheaded. “What do I want? I came with you because you didn’t want to be alone remember?” He teased lightly, rubbing his nose against hers.

That got a giggle out of her and she rubbed her nose back at him. She was half leaning against him, still up on her toes. “You didn’t have to,” she pointed out with a little smirk. “But you did so I guess that means I should try make it worth your while.”

“Seeing you smile is plenty,” he told her truthfully. If she was happy with him, she’d stay his and not try anything stupid to push him away. “Did you have something in mind?” He’d only planned to stay until she fell asleep but plans could always be altered if necessary.

Maddy blushed a little, the smirk turning a bit shy. Her breathing had evened out some and she shrugged. “We could get completely drunk,” she suggested, not actually meaning that. She did, however take a few steps back, pulling him along with her as she swayed to an unheard tune. “We could plot world domination. We could go dancing.” One of her hands reached up to play with the hairs at the nape of his neck. “Do you feel better? I want to help make you feel better.” Because she hadn’t forgotten how he had his dark cloud with him earlier and she didn’t like it when he was upset.

Dodge let her pull him forward a few steps before he reached down and scooped her up into his arms, carrying her over to the bed. “I think I like plotting a takeover, at least of the city,” he told her, setting her down and crawling up after her. “I feel better,” he told her, settling against the pillows and pulling her so she could nestle against his side. “Just bad memories is all.”

Maddy snuggled up against him, propping herself up a little on his chest so she could look at him. “I hate that you have them,” she murmured, reaching up to take his fedora off. She reached across him to set it on one of the bed posts before dropping a kiss on his forehead. “I wish I could take them all away.” She stroked his cheek, running her fingers carefully over his mouth, his nose, his eyes. She hated that he hurt. Hated that he had to deal with those terrible things and she hated that she wasn’t able to take care of it.

“I do and I don’t I guess. If I didn’t have them, it means I never found out, which means it’d still be going on,” Dodge said, not going into details but the darkness settling in on his features again. “It would be nice if it never happened.” He took her hand in his kissing her fingers lightly. Despite not being sure if he wanted to keep his memories or lose them, he was sure that he liked Maddy thinking like she was.

“That’s a good way to look at it,” she agreed, feeling guilty because Maddy? Had never told anyone about what happened. No one in authority who could ever do anything about it and it was because of that she was quite sure that it was still going on. And then that got her thinking of Janey and Danny, who’d she run out on and wondered, for a moment, if there was anything he’d be able to do. “That’ll be one of the first things we’ll do. We’ll do everything in our unlimited power to make sure no one hurts anyone like that ever again. They’ll meet a most terrifying demise. Like being ripped apart by alligators or something.” She tried to inject some lightness into the serious of it, because it was certainly an ugly topic.

Dodge couldn’t help but smile a little at that, understanding what she was going for. As much as he hated it though part of him couldn't help but regard that as completely childish. The whole world was full of those sort of horrible things wasn’t it? The more he thought about it, the more places he could find those hell bent on hurting others. “Ripped apart by alligators would be too good for them,” Dodge decided.

Maddy made a soft agreeing sound, nodding her head slightly. “Regardless, terrible things would happen to them.” And there was the guilt. Terrible, horrible guilt that she was letting it happen. But then, if she told, they’d send her back there, wouldn’t they? And she didn’t want to leave Dodge and Roy and Pepper. She didn’t want to go back there and be a toy. “You really are a man, Dodge. For taking care of them. And it isn’t easy. I know it isn’t. But don’t let anyone ever tell you that you aren’t doing right by them, because you are.” Sure, Dodge’s ego was questionable, but she stood by him in providing for the boys. “It’s admirable. Always remember that when you get those thoughts.” She looked down at him, her voice not quite harsh, but adamant in her belief in him. “I wouldn’t like you half as much as I do if you didn’t take care of them.” She dropped a kiss on his nose, turning her hand to lace her fingers with his.

What she said surprised him, the part about being a man because he took care of his boys. He’d always felt he took care of them out of guilt. They came to him and he’d led them straight into the nightmares. Now he was trying to lead them somewhere else, even if some weeks he wondered if he was just leading them into a different nightmare. One where they are froze or starved to death. “You’d like me no matter what,” he told her, voice teasing, but the appreciation for what she said was shining in his eyes.

Maddy rolled her eyes with a shake of her head. “Maybe,” she gave him. “But I think I’d be less inclined to stand up for you and your choices. I may not always agree with them, but that’s because I’m perfect and never make mistakes.” She smiled a bit. “You know, contrary to what some people like to think of me, I’m a nice person. I care about my friends. I’ll do anything for any of you. I always have and I always will. So you’ve got my support in what you ever decide what to do.” She thought this was something important to say. It was hard to with Roy because, well, Roy was a bit of a defeatist but she tried as best she could. Maddy knew that Dodge got stressed out when he wasn’t able to provide. She saw it when she found him asleep in her bed and how distressed he’d been that he hadn’t found her. “And so let me know if there’s anything I can do to help you. Ever.” Because she cared about him. She cared for that entire group of boys and even though Dodge wasn’t likely to ask for her help in anything ever, she just wanted him to know that she’d be there.

Dodge stroked her hair lovingly. “I appreciate it beautiful,” he said. “Got a question there for you, on the nice person part. I’ve heard you’ve been contradicting that comment.” He gave her a curious look, not condescending, but honest. Bringing up JJ wasn’t something he wanted to do, but he didn’t feel right completely ignoring what had happened between the two girls either.

The sweet, content look on her face immediately vanished and Maddy looked at him, stunned, as if he’d hit her. She would rather he smacked her than have him say just that. He didn’t just say that to her, did he? He really hadn’t just said that to her. And this time, the flash in Maddy’s eyes was definitely hurt, followed by anger, then more hurt as she clenched her jaw. “I asked her what she did. She told me that she didn’t do much. That she did a little bit of writing and cooking. She said she didn’t do much. She said that. And I said that it was boring. And then I asked her if she did more with her cooking, like entering baking competitions or with the writing, if she did more with that. Because I was asking her if she had hobbies. And I realized that when I first asked, I sounded mean, so I tried to ask more out of her, if she did any more with the few things that she did.” She said this all very calmly, but there was no disguising the hurt in her eyes and the fact that she still looked like she’d been backhanded. She just couldn’t believe that he had the audacity, while they were having a perfectly nice conversation, to bring up the other girl. And she hated the feeling it gave her. Maddy couldn’t believe she’d answered him as calmly as she did, but she somehow had managed it even if her voice had been strained. “I knew that maybe I had sounded mean at first and I was trying to fix it. She flew off the handle.”

Dodge flinched a little at her reaction, hating what was going across her face. “Come on Mads, you know you were harsh. Not everyone like the limelight like you do.” He reached out for her face again, trying to smooth the creases there. “You know she was hurting, she told you about her friend dying. You know what it’s like to lose someone, that hurts. The last thing you need after losing someone is being told your life is boring.”

Maddy pulled back, one hand braced on his chest, the other on the bed. She didn’t climb off, but the hurt look on her face didn’t change. She was still reeling. “Were you even there when we had our conversation? No, you weren’t, Dodge. And I wasn’t thinking that she should like the limelight like me! I was trying to ask her what hobbies she had so maybe she could focus on that instead of being upset, but she just started yelling at me while I tried to apologize and I said I was sorry but she was pissed off!” There was some anger there, definitely. “I was trying to help her find things to do that might make her feel better.” There was still that strain in her voice, the kind where you didn’t know whether to start crying or start yelling.

Dodge shifted with her, not wanting her to pull away. “Okay, okay. I believe you,” he said, hand still stroking her face. “She’d had a bunch of other stuff going on too, I just wanted to let you know she was upset. She didn’t even want to tell me about it when she did.” Leaning up he kissed her mouth lightly. “You were just trying to help.”

She let him kiss her, but she didn’t kiss him back, still confused by the entire situation. “Is that what she said though? That I was horrible to her? Is that what you think I was doing?” That prospect definitely hurt her more than the fact that he was talking to her about her behavior. “I told her I was sorry and I was trying to help her out.” She knew Jessie had been mad and part of her had enjoyed that, but the fact that she’d even told Dodge about it just... “What kind of person do you think I am? Did you just let her talk crap about me? Is she going around making me out to be the bad guy to other people?”

He couldn’t help but frown when she didn’t kiss him back. “No that’s not what I think you were doing, I wanted to hear what you said. She just said she was hurt, she thought you didn’t like her.” Dodge thought Maddy was taking this all wrong but he wasn’t sure how to stop her from worrying. “She wasn’t talking crap about you. I told you, she didn’t want to tell me, I coaxed it out of her. You aren’t the bad guy. You’re my girl.”

“Your girl with this huge hickey on her neck that day,” she muttered, hand going up to where he’d left the hickey on the crook of her neck. One of the actresses had noticed it and gave her some tips on how to get rid of it, which she’d done because she honestly hadn’t noticed that he’d left one. She wanted to say so much more. Say that she thought she did a good job keeping herself calm when she’d talked about how he walked her home. How she hadn’t gotten upset or gotten bitchy and overprotective. “Why did you have to bring it up here though?” she asked softly, looking down at the worn bedspread. That was definitely a contributing part to the hurt. The he brought it up while they were in bed together. She hoped he’d understand that without making her say it.

Dodge quirked a small grin at that, leaning forward to move her hand and kiss the space where he’d left the mark before. “I’m sorry baby, there was a moment to mention it and I thought I’d mention it.” He reached out for her, tilting her chin up so she could look at him. “You’re angry at me aren’t you?”

She let him tilt her chin up, the goosebumps on her skin visible from that kiss. She hadn’t wanted to react to it but she did anyway. “I’d be less ticked with you if you hadn’t brought it up in this bed,” she pointed out. “This is our place. Just us.” She grimaced a bit at how girly that sounded and reached out tug at the buttons of his vest, undoing them as she looked at him. “Would you want me to bring up some other guy if we were here? Or in your bed?” The vest unbuttoned, she started tugging it off of him. It had been an unconscious thing, pulling it off but there was a need to get all thoughts of Jessie James from his mind and get it back on her.

Dodge moved forward so he could slip out of the vest and reached up to loosen his tie on his own. “We weren’t talking about her Maddy, we were talking about you,” he said, but from the tone of his voice he obviously didn’t want to argue semantics. It wasn’t worth the effort and if she’d intended to distract him, she was doing a good job. “Just us then, nothing else,” he agreed, pulling her towards him and hoping she’d come.

Maddy did, crawling into his lap and working on the buttons of his shirt with a soft little sigh. “So we’re thinking of staying in for my birthday, huh?” she asked, pulling his shirt out of his pants so she could get it off of him, keeping the tie around his so she had something to hold onto. “Does that mean I get a more legitimate excuse to have you do what I want and you not argue?” she asked, her eyes dark with mischief as she ran a hand lightly over his shoulder and down his arm. It was to both distract him and her. Put things back in their little bubble.

“You vetoed my idea of party remember,” he told her smiling a little as she undressed him. “As for doing what you want, that’s up for discussion. I’m not committing to something when I don’t know what it is.” It was ironic that he wouldn’t, not even with Maddy, considering that was what he asked of most of the kids on the street who came to him for help. If there wasn’t something outright he needed from them a the moment he asked for a favor to cash in later. Most of them agreed without any inkling of what he might come asking for. He let Maddy keep up what she was doing, distracting from the previous conversation, from thoughts of his afternoon with Jessie and everything else.

“Who on earth am I going to invite to my party, Dodge,” she pointed out, scooting closer to him until he had to tilt his head back to look at her. “Don’t have that many friends.” Maddy leaned down a bit, ghosting a kiss against his lips. “Unless you already have some ideas of what we can do and you just want to surprise me. I suppose I could allow that. I do enjoy surprises.” When they were good surprises, anyway, but that was a given.

Dodge realized she had a point, but didn’t want her to feel like no one would celebrate with her. “I’m sure the Supreme Goddess could muster up some adoring fans for a party if she really wanted to.” He’d enjoyed that kiss but hoped for a real one. “No ideas yet. It is your birthday after all, are you supposed to decide what you want to do?” Or at least that was what Dodge assumed from watching the kids at the schools. He had no actual experience with birthdays.

“Honestly?” she murmured, kissing him again. There was a little more pressure this time, but it was still short and soft. “This would be the first time in years that I’ve celebrated a birthday with anyone. Usually I’m getting drunk on my own or something.” Maddy shrugged, clearly not looking for sympathy but simply stating the fact of that’s how she’d done it in the past. “And you’d think I could do that, couldn’t I? But there aren’t many people I’d like to celebrate with and some of them don’t get along.” She raised an eyebrow at him, lips close to his but she didn’t kiss him quite yet.

“Why am I always the one who gets blamed for his attitude?” Dodge asked, pulling away little. He knew she was talking about Roy and Dodge’s overwhelming urge to punch him whenever there was a chance. “It’s not my fault he’s got this thing against me.” Well in some ways it probably was Dodge’s fault, but he didn’t like the fact that all the blame seemed to rest on him.

“I wasn’t blaming you for anything!” she laughed softly, smiling gently at him. “I was just stating that some of my friends don’t get along. I’m pretty sure Roy wants to hit you as much as you want to hit him. Hell, half the time I don’t know how or why he puts up with me.” Patience of a saint, Roy. Which made her frown briefly as she thought of their conversation, how she told him that her and Dodge weren’t entirely different. “So don’t get offended. If I had a party, I’d want everyone to have fun.” Maddy tugged him back so she could kiss him properly this time, both to distract him again and get the subject off of that. And maybe because she also just wanted to kiss him.

“If he ever stops, let me know. I”ll take care of him.” Dodge meant that, not wanting Roy to hurt Maddy, ever. He gave into her kiss, pulling her closer to him, and kissing her back. He enjoyed this, enjoyed her catering to him like she was.

Maddy wanted to pull away, to tell him Roy had been the one to find her that day. That Roy looked out for her too and never threatened to walk away from her but he was suitably distracted and Maddy remembered what she’d said, about how they weren’t to discuss such things here. And it was a door Maddy did not want to open. The point was it to be just them. The point of this was to forget about everything else and despite the little voice in the back of her mind, Maddy let herself give in and let herself completely forget.