say goodbye

who: december and ethan
where: the orphanage
when: years ago

The 'play yard' was really just kind of an old dirty back lot with grass growing around the edges and grayish mud in the middle. It wasn't December's favorite place to be on the best of days, but it was better than being cooped up inside all the time, that was for sure. It was the only saving grace of their time spent 'playing' outside. December didn't so much 'play' as she stood on the outer edges of the yard and pegged the sharper rocks she could find at the mean kids. And really, they were a bunch of orphans with crappy lives, almost all of them were mean. December actually had a reputation for being one of the meanest. Or, possibly not meanest but the most trouble. Of the girls, she most certainly spent far more time sitting outside the hall of the Mother Superior waiting for punishment to be handed down."

Looking over as she heard the unmistakeable sounds of a fight, she saw her partner in crime, the boy who spent as much time in trouble as she did, her counterpart and pretty much only friend. And that there was a fist fight that was fast becoming a brawl. So, in typical December fashion, she didn't go run and tell, and she didn't run away--she picked up the nearest makeshift bat that was lying in the yard for games and made a run towards said fight. And without hesitation, just as one of the other boys was about to pile onto the already writhing mess of fighting boys, she cracked him in the back of the head, so he wasn't hitting Ethan from behind. That was just unfair. (nevermind she'd just done it herself)

Being in the orphanage meant that, at twelve years old, Ethan was as rough and hard as any lifer in prison. Just about every day had him getting in some kind of fight, whether it was to defend and protect Maddy, or just because people didn't like him and wanted to start shit with him. Or because Ethan wanted to start something first. Sometimes he just got so angry he had to lash out. Most of the time, actually.

Today wasn't like that, though. Today, he'd just been worried about Maddy because she was getting sick again, and the nuns had made her stay inside while they ushered the rest of the kids out. Somebody had said something about his scar, pushed at him when he wasn't in the mood for a fight. Pushed at him until his mood changed and he swung. It ended up being a dogpile, more kids jumping onto his back, taking their change to get him down when otherwise he was too big or they were too afraid. Kids jumping on other kids just because they were distracted too. It was a free-for-all. And then he heard the crack of something hard hitting something soft and Ethan looked over his shoulder, grinning up at December, blood dripping his face from his nose. He didn't have time to shout anything at her, another kid taking a swing at him than he had to suddenly duck.

She had time to grin back at him, an expression pretty much no one saw but him--and if anyone else did there was a decidedly evil bent to it and it didn't bode well for whoever she was grinning at. Unless it was him. That was different. She got pushed, and she was down to her knees in the mud, though she automatically slammed her elbow back into the groin of the kid who'd pushed her. The one she'd hit in the head had already gotten knocked down and was crawling away. She kicked out at one of the other boys going for Ethan again, as vicious a shin-kick as she could manage while on the ground, and it had her actually sort of half on her back, so she could get better strength behind it.

With December in the mix now, the tides were already turning. Ethan got another kid out cold with a hard punch to the ear, dropping him right in the middle of the fight. Someone else ducked down, dragging him out so he wouldn't get trampled on--they were brothers, Ethan thought. Someone jumped onto his back and starting hitting him in the head, making him stumble. He grabbed at their arms, tearing them away and flipping them over underneath him. He felt a little woozy from the blows but it didn't keep him from punching him a few times, making sure they stayed down. "You okay?" he asked, turning to look over at December.

December propped herself back up, sweeping her leg once more as a kid tried to come up behind Ethan as he asked after her (and punched people), kicking out the back of the kid's knee and sending him right down into the mud with her. "Fine!" she told him, since she was. She was feeling better now than she had been five minutes ago, anyways, even if she was now covered in mud and she could already hear the shouts of the nuns who were coming to break the fight up. "You're bleeding." she pointed out, as she looked over towards the angry nuns, kids running in every direction. "Oops." she muttered, even if she didn't at all sound repentant.

"Yep," Ethan said, wiping his mouth and chin with the back of his hand. "C'mon, we'd better make a run for it too." He stood up, grasping her wrist and helping her up to her feet, then taking off across the play yard. They likely wouldn't get very far. Ethan always stood out, and they knew he usually had something to do with whatever commotion was going on, so it was always him they went after first. Or December. So he knew they'd likely get caught--didn't meant they had to make it easy.

December took the lead, pulling him along with her. She headed for a narrow space between the play yard's fence and one of the other outbuildings, something that was generally small enough for people their size to get through (possibly a tight squeeze for Ethan but possible!) but not so much for full sized adults. She too was under the impression that they didn't need to help out with getting caught. They would do, she knew that, but the nuns could work for that. She ducked in first, and rushed through the space to the opening on the other side, looking back to be sure he was still with her.

Ethan followed after her, holding his breath and squeezing into the gap between the buildings with a little difficulty. December was tiny, it was easy for her, but even at twelve, Ethan was pretty big. He made it in though, just barely, with scrapes on his arms from the brick buildings, but he ignored them and hurried after her. So far, not caught, so very good.

She waited for him to appear again, then motioned for him to follow her again, moving towards one of the old storage barns that was full of old junk, and not really used all that much anymore. She'd found a broken window lock a week or so ago, and she'd been waiting for an opportunity to make use of the place. So she headed there, and when they got to the window, she pointed up at it. "That one's broken, get in then help me up." she said, figuring they could hide in there for a little while at least.

"Nice, December," Ethan said, looking up at the storage barn. Even with the broken lock, the nuns probably wouldn't have thought to look here. They'd have to leave eventually, though, and they'd be in worse trouble for going missing for a while, but so what? There was only so much that could be done to them at this point. He climbed up into the window, being careful of broken glass and knocking anything over. Once he'd got himself inside, he planted his feet steady on the ground and leaned out, holding his hands down for her.

December reached up to take hold of his wrists, so he could help hoist her up by the wrists. She even had to stand on her toes to do that, though. He was a whole hell of a lot bigger than she was. It was possible that was another reason she'd not broken into the place on her own--she would have had a heck of a time actually managing to get in that window without Ethan. But they were there now, and she took the help to climb in, and then she hopped down into the place proper, looking around. "Thought maybe you'd like it." she said, looking around at all the junk around. Which was pretty cool, she supposed. Old stuff, just piled around, collecting dust. Forgotten things. Kinda like most of the kids at the orphanage.

"Yeah, it's a good hideout," Ethan said, making sure the window was shut and inconspicuous before moving away, slapping the dust from his hands. The space was dark, light peaking in through the caked windows, dust motes floating in the weak beams of sunlight. "Lots of old stuff here--ugh." Ethan jumped back suddenly, smacking at his arms and shoulders. "Just walked into a cobweb." He shuddered, peering up at the dusty ceiling in distaste. He'd just got into a fight with about eight other boys, was still bleeding from his nose, and was worried about spiders.

December looked back and giggled, a rare sound from the girl. "The spiders in here are probably as big as rats!" she teased. But then she found it amusing that a guy his size was afraid of anything. She didn't mind spiders. But then she didn't mind rats either. She was a girl who wasn't upset by a lot of things other girls were. For instance she was wet and filthy at the moment and she didn't care about that either. "You're still bleeding." she said, walking around to look for a cloth of some description, and she found an old tablecloth over something, and tugged it off, handing it towards him. "Here." Not that there was much one could do with a nosebleed and the like.

"That's not funny!" Ethan protested. He frowned, looking over his shoulders, brushing off his arms and the back of his neck. He hated bugs. Ugh. He wiped at his nose again, but his hand was already bloody from wiping it earlier, so all he really did was smear it around on his face. He took the tablecloth from December, giving it a shake so he didn't inhale dust, then pressed it against his nose, tilting his head, pinching the bridge with a wince that made his eyes tear. "Thanks," he said, his voice muffled by his held nose. "Pretty wild there for a minute, huh?"

December went and sat on what she'd uncovered, which turned out to be an old table. She plopped down on it, and swung her legs back and forth, excess water and dirt dripping down onto the floor. "Yeah." she said, smiling a bit. "What was it for, anyways?" she asked. Since really, she'd not even paused to consider what the fight might be about, or who was right, or anything of the kind. She'd just jumped right in, picking his side by default. She never did stop to consider the bigger picture on that score. If Ethan was fighting and she was in the vicinity, it was going to be two on however-many. Usually the other kids didn't pick a fight with someone as big as Ethan without back up. It would have just been stupid.

"Somebody talking about my scar," Ethan said, sitting down on the floor and letting his head rest back against the wall, tilted so that he could see her as he spoke. "Wouldn't shut up about it, so I cracked him one. You'd think they'd get tired of getting beat about it by now." Even almost two years after what happened to him, the scar that ran down the side of Ethan's face, cutting over his eye, didn't look much better. It wasn't all red, but it hadn't healed quite right. He didn't like how it made him look, what it reminded him of, and the other kids in the orphanage rarely let a day go by without some mention of it.

December shrugged, eyes down on him. "I like your scar." she told him. She knew it was a sensitive topic with him, that he didn't like it when the other kids picked on him for it. But then they sort of did that with anyone who had anything different. They picked on her because she was a really defiant little girl, really not at all like any of the others. That and they thought she was creepy and weird. She just didn't do anything to combat that impression. Probably because she was, actually, kinda creepy and weird. She just didn't care.

"You're the only one," Ethan said, his voice quiet. There wasn't a single good thing about his scar. All it did was mark him, let everybody know that something terrible had happened to him. It was the brand of the man who had killed his parents and ruined his life and if he could burn it right off of his face and out of existence, he would. He tilted his head back down and lowered the tablecloth, checking to see if his nose was still bleeding.

"You're not done yet." December noted when he tilted his head forward, and more blood leaked down out of his nostrils. She kept her eyes on him, feet still swinging back and forth in a lazy sort of motion. She was cold, the wet from the mud and such starting to seep into her thin frame. She ignored it, though. "It sets you apart, y'know." she said. "Everyone else looks the same. Like they're all little cut outs or pictures in a book. Not you, though. You're different." Though December was aware that being unique wasn't exactly the best thing to be all the time. Most pepole wanted to blend, not stand out. Hell most people didn't even appreciate the things that stood out. She did, though. It was her nature.

Ethan tilted his head back again, hitting the wall with a small thud. "That's not really a good thing, not for me. I'm already twice as big as everyone else, the scar just makes it worse." He shook his head, making a face when he swallowed some blood. "I think you're different," he said, tilting his head a bit awkwardly to look at her again. "In a good way. It just... it doesn't show on your face like with me."

Thinking that over before she said anything, December shrugged one shoulder. "The other kids kinda think I'm evil." she offered. "Like, antichrist evil." she added. "An I still dunno if that makes it worse. I mean, whatever, who cares what they think anyways?" she asked, making a rude gesture in the direction of the play yard. "They don't know nothin. They're just all stupid jerks who aren't wanted by anyone else either, they're just trying to make themselves feel better. You're better than that though." she told him.

Ethan laughed. "Like hell you're the antichrist. They don't know what they're talking about." Laughing hurt a bit, so he let it trail off, adjusting his pinched grip on his nose. He looked at December out of one eye, smirking. "Well, maybe a little bit of the antichrist."

"You don't know! Maybe I am demon spawn." she said, giggling again. "And a little bit of the antichrist--good thing you're on my good side, huh?" she asked, hopping down from the table, and she started to look through different boxes in the place. "If I was, I could smite them. I'd be happier if I could." she told him. Though really, she had other people in mind she'd smite too. Whole bunches of people. But then December could watch the world burn and not give much of a damn. Not Ethan, though. He was different.

"Guess so, Miss Demon Spawn," Ethan said, watching as December got up and started moving around the barn. He liked his spot too much to move--he wasn't keen on walking in on anymore cobwebs, thank you very much. "You're already pretty good at smiting people, though. You cracked Johnnie pretty good back there. That's all you really need, right?"

She found a box with a bunch of old ink bottles in it, and she grabbed a few of them, holding them up to the light. One still had ink in it, and she brought it back, looking around at other things. "he was going to hit you from behind." She told him, looking back his way, and shrugging one shoulder, but she smiled. "That's hardly fair." Even if yep. She'd totally done that to Johnnie. In her opinion, he'd been about to do it first, and therefore it was justified. But the truth was, even if he hadn't, she'd have decided it was okay for some reason or another. "But yeah, I guess if I'm already good at it, it's all I need. Plus, I know I have back up."

"Do you though? Maybe you shouldn't start fights you can't finish, just to be sure," Ethan said. He was teasing though, from the grin on his face. An earlier fight had knocked out the very last of his baby teeth, leaving a gap beside his right incisor. "What're you gonna use the ink for?"

"You'll see." she told him, since she did in fact, have a plan for the ink. She started pulling sheets off of larger items, til she found what she was looking for--an old mirror. It wasn't much good anymore, most of the mirror part darkened and such, but it reflected her enough that she could see what she was doing. "And the day you don't back me in a fight is the day you aren't around." she said. Because she was sure if he was anywhere near her, he'd jump right in. He had so far. And the only times she got caught in a fight without him was when he was off with Maddy, or in trouble at the time. Using the dropper in the ink bottle, she started drawing on her cheek, up by her eye. It was simple, what she did there. She put an upside down star.

Ethan laughed when he saw the star on her cheek, shaking his head. "You're still not that antichrist," he said, tilting his head back down again. No blood this time, and he got up, stashing the bloody tablecloth somewhere it wouldn't easily be found. "You should do a snowflake instead. For December."

"Yeah, but snowflakes are kinda..." she made a little face. "I dunno. Cute." she landed on. "Plus I'm not that artistically inclined. I dunno if I could make one." she admitted. That and she had put it on her cheek because he'd said that his own scar was some unhideable mark, so she was putting one on her too. Sure, hers would wash off eventually--though this ink stuck to the skin really well, she'd dumped some before in the chuch and it had taken ages to get off. Which was why she was using it for this. But the point in her head was still the same. "I'm not supposed to be cute I'm supposed to be scary." she told him. Not that she looked especially scary. She was mostly a pretty cute if underfed girl with long black hair and bright eyes.

"You're not scary," Ethan said, walking over to her. She was older than him and he wasn't even a teen yet, but he still towered over her. "I'm scary. You're not. See?" He took the ink and drew a little snowflake on her other cheek, just an asterisk with four simple lines crossing through the center. "Actually, that doesn't really look like a snowflake. Sorry." He grinned, smearing a dab of ink on her nose instead.

December had to cran her neck to look up at Ethan. The guy was way bigger than her. He was bigger than everyone, but when he stepped close like that, it was especially obvious. She giggled, and reached up to try and wipe the bit off of her nose, even if she'd stayed still for the snowflake. "This stuff doesn't come off for days!" she complained, not that she was really complaining. Then she reached for the ink again, getting another idea. "Here, gimme." she said. "I'll manage scary." she told him, determined.

"You already look pretty nuts," Ethan said, handing the ink over to her. With the star on one cheek, the failed snowflake on the other, and smudge on her nose, she did look a bit like she'd lost her mind. Not that Ethan thought she'd care, even if she had protested. She as probably about to make it even worse, but Ethan was still eager to see what would come of it.

Taking the ink, she dipped her pinky into it, then started carefully dabbing it against her lips, blackening them. She kept it careful so that she didn't mess it up, but eventually she had it down, so it looked like lipstick, only really not the right color. "There." she said firmly, turning to look at him to get his opinion. "Now do I look scary?" she asked.

Ethan tilted his head, squinting his eyes at her. "Nope," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Now you look like you just ate a bowl of ink." He grinned at her, boyish and slightly toothless. He actually looked his age sometimes when he was around December. With Maddy, he had to be older, he had to be tough, he had to be the protector. But he could actually act like a child with December. They were children, albeit trouble-making ones.

She laughed, and pushed him a little. "Good!" she said. "Maybe I'm a word eating monster!" she told him. "I creep up in the middle of the night, and eat the words in people's hearts." she made up on the spot. It couldn't be said she wasn't creative...just that her creativity tended towards the macabre as opposed to anything else.

"That'd be pretty awful," Ethan admitting, frowning a bit. "Then people wouldn't be writing stories anymore." He frown shifted into a grin and he nodded appreciatively at December, giving her a thumbs up. "That's pretty scary, actually! I think you finally got it."

"Or songs, they wouldn't have lyrics to put down anymore. I'd get all full up on people's thoughts and desires, they'd sustain me and keep me out there, a shadow in the night, ravenous for more." December said, grinning. "And good! I win." she declared, looking satisfied. Like her being scary was important, and that his opinion even more so was--which was true, though mostly the latter. She didn't give much of a damn about most people's opinions, but she gave a damn about his.

"Scary and crazy," Ethan said, shaking his head. He grinned and wiped at his nose again--still no longer bleeding, but it was sore and his face felt hot and tender from developing bruises. "You're like a double knockout. No wonder all the nuns run for you first. One of these days they'll gonna trip over their habits going after you, and it'll be the funniest thing ever. And they won't have anything to lecture you with because you ate all the words in the Bible, like a proper antichrist."

"I think everyone's crazy." December said, and there was an odd note of seriousness to it, though it was gone again a moment later. "I think that will be my goal now. Tripping the nuns, making them fall right on their faces." she added, looking back at the mirror, and smiling her black lipped smile. "And maybe I should eat all the words in the bible. It's all full of junk anyways." she muttered. It was possible December had developed sharp issues with religion.

Ethan shrugged. "I always fall back asleep during morning service," he said. His family hadn't really been church-going people, spending their Sundays on visits to the park instead, or watching his father train for boxing matches. It was... hard, thinking of them, so he stopped, thrusting the memories out of his head immediately. "Everyone around here is crazy, anyway. Maybe it's better outside."

December headed into the room again, leaving the ink behind, and she looked around at other odds and ends that had been left in there, forgotten about. "Maybe." she said, and there was something of a wistful note to her voice, something that wasn't often present in a little girl as cynical as she could be. "Maybe I'll go. Just...disappear from here." she suggested. Sounded like a good idea to her. Then she looked back at him. "You could come with, if you wanted."

"Disappear?" Ethan echoed. The idea seemed strange to him. He knew he wasn't going to get adopted out; he was too old, too damaged, too ugly and scared up. What family would want him? He was just waiting for the day when he was too old to stay in the orphanage and they kicked him out, and he could make a life for himself as an adult, find his family's killer when he was bigger and stronger. But leaving now, when they were just kids? He could hardly even imagine it. "Leave and go where?"

She shrugged one shoulder. "Somewhere far away?" she suggested. "Somewhere that isn't here. I don't like it here, this place..." she shuddered a little, hugging herself and not realizing it. Like she knew later tonight, after she'd gotten into trouble and was punished, there'd be hell to pay for it, just not the kind the nuns handed out. "Nevermind." she said. "Just somewhere else. Maybe it's nicer there."

"Probably. You'd get out sooner than I would," Ethan said. He looked over his shoulder, back towards the orphanage's main building, frowning deeply. "I'd go, but... I can't just leave Maddy behind. And she gets sick so easy, it'd be hard for her to follow." The thought scared him sometimes. He was two years older than Maddy and would get out of the orphanage before she would. He'd have to, they'd make him leave when he was eighteen, otherwise he would stay there and wait for her. But he couldn't and he didn't know what to do. It was still so many years away, though...

"You don't think I'm stayin here that long, do you?" December asked, looking up from a trunk she was digging through. She climbed inside it, and sat down, picking up old books and dropping them down onto the floor. "No way. I hate it here. I'd rather leave, and be out there in the world. Don't even care if I starve, it'd be better than here." She was sad that he couldn't go. But she'd known he'd say that. That just didn't mean she wasn't going to make the offer.

"But you're not that much older than me. What could you do out there?" Ethan looked back at December and frowned, watching her pull the books out of the trunk. He didn't like the idea of a girl like December roaming the streets by herself, but if he had to choose between the two, it was Maddy who needed his protection the most. But how tough could December really be out on the streets alone?

She shrugged, not answering. She knew there was some stuff. Not really what, but there had to be something. And pretty much anything was better than staying where she was with that man around. it was getting to the point where she'd rather be dead. And if it was a choice between that and leaving, and possibly dying but maybe not, she was going to go for it. "When I go, don't forget about me, kay?" she said suddenly, looking over at him. it occurred to her that if he didn't, there'd be no one to remember her at all. That she'd just stop being, and it'd be like she never was to start with.

"December," Ethan said, his mouth dropping open in surprise. He went over to her, kneeling down next to the trunk so he could grasp her arms, make her look at him. "You can't go. You can't... who am I supposed to start trouble with? Who's gonna watch my back if you go?"

She looked at him, but had a little trouble meeting his eyes. There were things happening to her that she couldn't tell him about. Part of her wanted to, but how could she even say it? It was like saying it out loud would make it true. Even if it was already true, she didn't know what to say. She didn't want it to be true. So instead she looked for a way out instead. Only there wasn't one. She sure as hell wasn't going to be getting adopted either. And the only family she had she hadn't seen since she was six. "I don't really do a whole lot, you do most of the fighting." she said, though it didn't feel like the right answer.

"Yeah, but I still need you around. I would've gotten knocked out cold if you hadn't been there. If I get dogpiled again, I'm not gonna win. Not without you. And I watch your back too." He slid his hand from her wrist to her own hand, grasping it in a shake. "We're partners, right? You can't break up a partnership."

You can't watch my back all the time and there's stuff you can't do. she thought. But she couldn't say that. She felt terrible. She really did. She held his hand and looked down at it. "Don't get into so many fights. Just...I dunno. Watch out for that girl." she said. It was very clear she was having a hard time with it all, that she wanted to tell him what he wanted to hear, and everything would be just fine but she knew that wasn't the truth.

Ethan's frowned deepened, his eyes huge. "December," he said, biting his lip, "Don't leave me here." It was supposed to be just them, wasn't it? The three kids that no one was ever going to adopt, stuck together until the time came that they could leave. What was he supposed to do without his partner in crime? Fighting wouldn't be fun anymore--it'd just be a struggle to keep his head above water.

Again, she felt terrible. But that looming knowledge in the back of her mind was always there, that tonight, things would get bad again. Worse. And he wasn't going to be there. He'd be in with Maddy, probably. He had her picked over December, and she knew it. She wasn't mad about it, Maddy was just little and all, but that didn't make it easier to take, especially with the sorts of things that were going on. "Don't look so sad." she told him, a light pleading note to her voice, and she reached out to give him a hug. It was awkward, she didn't hug a whole lot of people, plus she was in a trunk at the moment, but she did her best. "I said you could come with, I want you to." she told him.

Ethan frowned even as she reached out and hugged him, rare for her even as much as they interacted. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her out of the trunk so he could hug her better. He and Maddy were physically close all the time, they even slept together, but it was different with December--it didn't happen that often, and he wanted to hold onto it. Especially since this was clearly a goodbye. "I know, but... I can't... you know. You can't go either. You can't."

December squeezed her eyes shut. She already had her plan. She was going to hide in that trunk til after dark, and then she'd leave. That was the plan, that she'd come up with completely on the fly. But December wasn't a girl who was cowed by not having a solid plan. She was ruled a lot by the moment, and this moment seemed like the one she'd been thinking about for a long time but seemed more real today. "You can't protect me." she told him, voice quiet. "I have to save myself." she said. "You stay. You just don't forget me, and don't get into so many fights, kay? Or find one of the boys to back you up, I know they won't be as good as me, but still." she said, trying to make him feel better, even if she thought she missed the mark. The whole brave face thing sucked lots.

"I can protect you," Ethan protested, pulling away from December so he could look into her face. "I protect Maddy, I can protect you too. Just let me. You don't have to be so tough, I can take some of it for you. You said you don't get into a lot of fights anyway, right? Just... don't go away, December."

This time she met his eyes. But she shook her head. "Not from this." she said. She still couldn't tell him. That there was someone around hurting her, that it happened every time Maddy got sick and Maddy was sick a lot, and whenever she was, Ethan was with her. That even if he said he could, she didn't think he would. Not if it meant he would have to spend less time with Maddy. "You know I'm tough. It's not that. I'll be okay. I just can't stay here. I'm sorry." she told him, meaning that. Very much meaning that. Then she changed track entirely, and tried to give him a smile. "You'll barely know I'm gone." she told him. Even if two seconds ago she'd asked him not to forget her. He just looked pretty crushed right now, which was how she was feeling, and she imagined she looked like too.

"Yes, I can." Ethan scowled. He hated the idea that he couldn't protect December. He couldn't protect his parents, but he wouldn't make that mistake again--he'd protect everyone he cared about from whatever dared to hurt them. They just had to let him. "I could protect you. Just tell me what I'm protecting you from and I'll never let it near you again." His scowl turned into a frown, looking young and desperate again. "Please."

December considered it. She really did. She thought about it, and him, and everything happening, and in the end came to the same conclusion that she had before. If there was a choice to be made--and it would come down to that, probably--it wasn't going to be her that got picked. And really she didn't want to even make him pick. Espeically not over a sick little girl. She was cold in a lot of ways, a good lot of her heart already dropped into winter, but that didn't mean she didn't have one at all. "I'm sorry." she said. "And I can't tell you." she added, voice more quiet than it already was. She then, on impulse, gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Ethan blinked hard, surprised by the kiss, his hand lifting to gently touch the slightly damp spot. When he pulled his fingers away they were slightly grayish, wet ink leftover from her lips. "You're really going to leave?" he said, looking at her, swallowing hard, looking rather miserable. What was he supposed to do without his best friend? He and Maddy were close, but it was different from friends... December was his partner. They watched each other's backs, they looked out for one another. They hid in abandoned barns together, keeping the trouble they were going to get into at bay.

She saw she'd left a mark on his cheek there, but decided in that instant that she wanted it there. It hadn't been intentional, but still. She was glad that she could see it on his cheek. It would fade in time, but still. she'd rather it faded slowly. That it would still be there tomorrow, probably. "I have to." she told him, sounding sad. That was in her whole demeanor, really. "I wish you could come with." she said. But it wasn't termed like she was pleading. It was more resigned, because he'd already said he couldn't, she knew it, he did, there wasn't anything that would happen in begging but both of them feeling worse. "I'll miss you." she told him, lower lip trembling a little.

"I wish I could too," Ethan said. He looked at her then looked away, rubbing at his eyes as discreetly as possible. "Send me a postcard or something, okay? Send it here. Let me know you're okay, wherever you're going."

"Okay." she said. "Just don't forget." she said again, that being really important to her. She gave him a watery smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, feeling like she was going to cry too. She just might wait til he was gone, first.

"I won't. Everytime I get hit, I'll remember you," he said, smiling weakly back. "Don't forget about me, either. When you come back... we can start trouble again, just like we do now."

She gave him a smile. "Sure." she said. "Promise." she added. She didn't know if she'd ever be back. But then she didn't know if she'd even survive out there. But she could promise that. If she ever did come back, if she crossed his path, found him again or something, they could start trouble again. She'd even like that.

"You mean it?" Ethan asked. He held out his hand, the pinky stuck out and pointing at her. "You swear?"

December reached out and hooked her pinky with his. "I swear." she told him. "You swear to not forget me?" she asked. "That even after I'm gone away and everything you won't forget all about me?" That was pretty important to her, clearly, since she kept wanting the reassurance that he wouldn't. She figured everyone else would.

"I swear," Ethan said, squeezing her pinky a bit before finally pulling away. He rubbed at his eyes again--they were just itchy, really. "You're really going to stay out here all night? By yourself? You're not going to come back inside?"

She thought about it. "I'll stay here. Just tell them I ran, that I'm out in the city somewhere. If they look at all, they'll look in the wrong place, then later I can sneak away with no one watching." she said, again that on the fly planning thing kicking in. "Tell them I started the fight, too." she added. She could take blame for absolutely everything right now, she wouldn't be around to have to take the punishment for it, so she might as well, right?

Ethan nodded, not looking any happier about the idea of December leaving. It seemed like just a minute ago they'd run in here, seeking refuge from their usual shenanigans, and now December was running away, leaving him behind. "I guess I'd better get back..."

She didn't look particularly happy about that, but she nodded, rubbing the back of her hand over her eyes as well. Her eyes fell on the kiss on his cheek again, and then back to his eyes. "I'll miss you." she told him.

He hesitated, then reached out and pulled her into another tight hug, the ink smudge still on his cheek. "I'll miss you too. Stay out of trouble, December. Stay safe." He reluctantly pulled away from her, heading back towards the window they'd come in through. He climbed up to it, checking to make sure that the coast was clear, but didn't jump out yet, looking back at her instead. "Don't... don't go towards the train station. I'll tell them you went there, that you wanted to stowaway on the baggage car. They won't be looking for you anywhere else."

December watched him going and she nodded. "Kay." she said, voice a little wavery. She was blinking, too, though a tear escaped, and she wiped at it with her hand again. "You stay safe too, Ethan." she told him. "Maybe I'll see you again someday." If she made it. If she ever came back.

"You will," Ethan said, nodding firmly. "You'd better. You swore on it." He watched the tear slip down her inky cheek before she wiped at it, and he wanted to stop and beg her not to go, beg her to tell him what was wrong so he could fix it. If he just knew what it was... but December was fixing it. She was running from it, and if whatever she needed protecting from was in the orphanage, then she was protecting herself already. He just wished it didn't mean leaving him here...

She nodded, and more tears fell. She wasn't a girl who was overly given to crying, but right now she was miserable for a whole host of reasons. "Bye, Ethan." she told him, and sniffling, she actually curled up in the box, so she didn't have to watch him actually leave, and she reached up to pull the lid of the trunk shut, so if anyone did look, they wouldn't see her. They'd have to search. it was a little like sealing herself up in her own coffin, but she curled up in the darkness, and closed her eyes, telling herself this was the only way. And he'd be fine.

"Bye, December." He watched the lid come down on the trunk and he tore his eyes away, willing himself not to cry anymore than the few tears that had already escaped. He didn't want to lose any more people. He'd lost his mom and he'd lost his dad and now he was losing December too. Willing himself, demanding himself not to look at the trunk again, Ethan climbed out of the window and slowly made his way back to the orphanage.